Funny Yo Mama Jokes

Imagine you planned to have your boyfriend kidnapped, delivered to your blindfolded and gagged. You fuck him, and pull the hood off after, only to be face to face with a stranger. That stranger, you quickly lean, is the Don of the Cosa Nostra. He's all too pleased to have taken part in your kidnap fantasy.

Hanggang saan ang kaya mong gawin para sa lalaking minamahal mo? Hanggang kailan mo kayang panindigan ang tinitibok ng puso mo? hanggang kailan ka aasa na darating ang panahon na mamahalin ka din ng lalaking binulag ng kasinungalingan? Handa ka bang magtiis at manatili sa relasyong, ikaw lang ang may gusto? Relasyong galit ang naghahari sa puso ng lalaking minamahal mo? "Why do you hated me this much?! Ano bang ginawa ko?! Was it a crime to love you?! Sabihin mo! Kasi hindi ko naiintindihan!? Kung ayaw mo sa akin, bakit kasama kita ngayon?! If we're not meant to be then, bakit I have to make s*x with you again! Garrett sabihin mo! Kasi tao din naman ako! Sabihin mo bakit?!" "Dahil pinatay mo ang Mama ko!" "A----ano?! Hindi ko ginawa iyon! Hindi ako kriminal!" "Ki... hindi ikaw ang pumatay! Parte ka pa rin ng pamilyang iyon and I hate You!"

One vampire. One Vampire hunter. A forbidden bond. Isabelle Howell seems like your average everyday girl, but I'll let you in on a little secret. She's actually a Slayer and a very good one at that. She spends her nights tangling with the somewhat unsavoury supernaturals that roam the earth, feasting on innocents. Committed to her job and unknown hero to the average humans who walk around blissfully unaware. Isabelle is over the moon when she is given a high priority assignment, something she has waited for, for so long. The chance to prove she can handle herself, the chance to work her way up to the elite team and go on the really dangerous assignments. Her target, you ask? Cassius Lockwood. Powerful pureblood vampire. As handsome as he is cruel. The blood- fiend, well known for his merciless ways. His reputation doesn't put her off if anything she finds the challenge exciting. That is, however, until she has him (or who she thinks is him) cowering before her. At a time where she should be thrilled, it just isn’t right and what he says to her will haunt her for the rest of her days.

Ang ampon ng aking ama ay ikinulong lamang sa masikip na storage closet nang halos labinlimang minuto, ngunit tinalian niya ako at itinapon sa loob bilang parusa. Tinakpan pa niya ang ventilation gamit ang mga tuwalya. "Bilang nakatatandang kapatid ni Wendy, kung hindi mo siya kayang alagaan, marapat lamang na maranasan mo rin ang takot na naramdaman niya,” seryoso niyang sabi. Alam niyang may claustrophobia ako, ngunit ang aking mga desperadong pakiusap, ang aking matinding takot, ay sinagot lang ng malupit na sermon. "Magsilbi sana itong aral sayo para maging mabuting kapatid." Nang tuluyang lamunin ng kadiliman ang huling hibla ng liwanag, nakakaawa akong nagpumiglas. Isang linggo ang lumipas bago muling naalala ng aking ama na may anak pa siyang nakakulong at nagpasya siyang tapusin na ang aking parusa. "Sana'y naging magandang aral sa iyo ang isang linggong ito, Jennifer. Kung mangyayari pa ito muli, hindi ka na pwedeng manatili sa bahay na ito." Ngunit kailanman ay hindi niya malalaman na matagal ko nang nalanghap ang aking huling hininga sa nakakasulasok na silid na iyon. Sa kadiliman, unti-unti nang nabubulok ang aking katawan.

nakatanggap sya ng balita na ang isa sa malaki nilang kumpanya ay ninanakawan ng hindi malaman kung sino. Kinausap nya ang kanyang magulang na hayaan syang tuklasin kung sino ito. Nagpanggap na simpleng empleyado si Sam bilang sekretarya ni Grace. Si Grace na napakasuplada, masungit at mahirap basahin na tao. kaya malaki ang pagdududa ni Sam na baka si Grace ang nagnakaw ng pera ng kumpanya. Magkasing edad lamang sila pero mataas na ang katungkulan nito.

"Now you listen. You are mine. Your whole existence is mine. You live for me. Breathe for me. Exist for me. If I tell you to do something. You do it. No questions asked. If I tell you to jump off a building, I want no hesitation from you. I am the master and you are my slave. Do you get me?" Isabella Russo lost her parents to a car crash when she was just eight years old, she moves to Italy to live with her father's sister. 10 years later, she finds out that she was given off to the Perez Mafia family as collateral. What will happen when Capo Domenico Perez comes to take what's his? In a bid to make him fall for her, will she succeed? Or would she find herself falling for the dangerous capo with no one to catch her.

He is loathsome, arrogant and handsome doctor with uncouth mouth. She is a simple sales girl. Being straightforward and brave, she shamelessly pursued him, sending him gifts, meals, flowers and tried to get close to him. She was humiliated when his staff gossiped about her and she retreated. Then he rejected her and told her they could only be friends. She tried her best to avoid him but no matter how much she tried they frequently cross paths. Suddenly one day he told her. "Be my girlfriend!" What a mess!

Bakit kaya hindi pantay ang mundo? Bakit hindi na lang kaya mayaman ang lahat ng tao para wala ng mahirap? Para wala ng nagugutom? Para wala ng gumagawa ng masama para lang may mauwing pagkain sa hapag? Bakit kaya may mga mahihirap na katulad ko? Bata pa lang ako. Iyon na palagi ang tinatanong ko sa sarili ko. Kung bakit may mga mahirap na kagaya ko. Masama ba akong tao sa nakaraan kong buhay at pinaparuhasan Niya ako't ang pamilya ko ng ganito? Ewan ko. Basta ang alam ko lang na tinatak ko sa isip ko ng magdalaga ako- hindi titigil ang mundo sa 'yo kung patuloy at patuloy mo lang iisipin kung gaano kahirap ang buhay. Hindi uulan ng pera kapag hiniling mo. At mas lalong hindi magiging magaan ang buhay mo kung puro hiling ka lang sa Kanya at walang kasamang pagbabanat ng buto. Natuto ako sa mahirap na paraan. At iyon ang ginagamit ko ngayon na sandata araw-araw sa malupit at madilim na mundo na ginagalawan ko ngayon. "KEISHA! Ikaw na ang sasalang sa stage! Bilisan mo na! Marami ng mga guest ang naghihintay sa 'yo!" A novel by: TheGuyWithTheGlasses STATUS: COMPLETED Date started: June 18, 2022 Date finished: September 19, 2022

Bexan Ivanov witnesses a surprise terror attack during his 13th birthday and loses his father in the middle of the terror attack. A terrorist attempts to kill Bexan but fails because a heroic girl with a sniper saves him. Later Bexan knew, the heroic girl who saved him is actually an agent who works in a hidden agency, the unheard Onic Agency! Where undercover agents save the world in secret!Bexan felt immensely grateful towards the heroic girl who saved him from the brutal terrorist. After that, he decided to become an agent. Bexan was indebted to Onic so he pledged to give his full service to the said agency. Within 11 years, Bexan trained his ass off to become District 10's Supreme Commander and in order to do that, he has to get a hold of one of the biggest cases in Onic and that is terminating The Camorra Mafia Group.Bexan won't be handling this big time case alone. He will be assigned with a job partner, but wait a minute! Not just any job partner! Bexan becomes partners with a female agent who's a complete sloth. Lilith Divina helps Bexan with his first assignment in terminating the Camorra Mafia group. Bexan finds Lilith uncooperative with a drunken man's soul. Will their first assignment turn into a success? Or will it turn into a complete catastrophe?

Luka was the best Alpha the Brightwater Pack ever had. That is, until he loses his mate and everything comes crashing down. Having lost everything he loved and his one real reason for living, he attempts suicide on a human territory, when Victoria intervenes and ruin his plans. She makes it her duty to help the man that 'couldn't be saved', after he constantly refuses her help. What happens when she uncovers his secrets one by one? Will Victoria give up on him, or will she surprise them both? Who would've thought that she could save him just in the nick of time? Or does she....