Novel & Cerita Hidup Terasa Mati

This way of life fucking chose me. Rest in peace Aliyah… my fucking angel. My queen. I sighed, taking my eyes off from the floor. I needed to get my head back into the fucking game, before my own ass was on the line. It felt like I was a dead man walking. It felt like my life had no purpose left in it. It felt like I was better off dead. Like being dead would be the only way to end the pain and suffering that I was experiencing right now.

A roar with pressure so powerful as he yelled at her when she tried to talk to him. Have you ever been in a situation where you feel that sometimes life gives you many reasons to let go and just die to ease out all the suffering you've been through? It's the same for her too. She felt that she shouldn't even be alive as it is. She shouldn't have been born! What's the point of being alive when everything was working against her? *

“Hm. So what are you doing here?” What was he supposed to say? “Are you dream walking?” She sounded intrigued. The nearly dead had a way of knowing things the living couldn’t even begin to understand. “In a manner of speaking. It’s more like … dream observing.” “Well,” she said, turning away to look at the group of mourners standing around her grave, “not much to observe here, is there?” He smiled. “You’re here.” “I’m boring.” “No, you’re not.” “I’m dying. Dying people are boring – we don’t have much to say.”

And here, right in front of him is one of those. "You live, you suffer, and then you die. You live, you find happiness, and then you die. Isn't it a damn world if happiness on the afterlife doesn't exist? What is the purpose of living if in the end you will vanish as if you never exist in the first place?" He sound as if he was fighting for something. It was as if he is trying to prove a thing that is greatly denied too him.

No one wants to deny that kind of obsessive connection and walk away to find another mate… until us. I can confirm, rejecting from that kind of bond is like dying, only not actually letting the body fade out to black when the soul leaves you. I’m a walking shell. Zombified and unable to do anything about it at all, and death right now is starting to look a hell of a lot rosier than this. I’m in purgatory, only it looks exactly like my life before, yet a whole lot suckier.

Death is not a thing that happens to us, it is something we see happen to others, it is an unfortunate day for some poor kid in a third world country who happened to be in the wrong spot at the wrong time as the bomb exploded. But us? Well we’re going to live forever. Living in the midst of a death sentence was almost like staring into the barrel of a Glock and hoping there was no bullet down the end of that long dark chamber. And then Mattel wouldn’t let himself think about it anymore, because morbid thoughts weren’t helping… anyone?

Everything goes blurry when I hear the last words they say to me before walking out. “He did not make it. We tried the best we can.” My world is falling. I have no purpose to be here anymore. I want to die. I want the world to just open up and swallow me alive. I look at him laying there lifeless and I have no reason to live again. Why does this keep happening to me?

My vision turns blurry and I black out. Blackness and numbness surround me. Is this what being dead is like? It's peaceful, but a little bit boring. At least I don't have to feed the pack. Oh dang, I didn't get a chance to turn in that English essay. It was a good one too. The constant soft beeps are soothing. I don't know how long I've been dead, but I feel like I want to open my eyes, ready to take on the afterlife.

I told him in a little voice and went straight inside the house and went directly to my room upstairs. Dead. It was the best word that could describe what I’m feeling at the moment. I’m so alive physically, but inside, I felt like dead. I felt like I had no reason to live anymore. It felt like there was no reason for anything. It was like I was only given a chance to taste light but it was not meant to stay long, it was meant to leave and that I can do nothing about it because it is something written in the laws of nature, it is already destined to happen and that is why I can do nothing about it.

Her expressions were neutral, with no sign of pain or regret at this point. She couldn’t endure this pain now and felt like it was better to end it forever. There seemed to be no reason to live on for. No person to be happy for. No one wanted her or would be sad if she died.