Hilarious Long Stories Novels & Stories

I smile at my daughter and say, “Over medium, please.” Then she looks at Gabriel, fighting a smile. “Can you eat better than you can dance?” The girls erupt into laughter, and Gabriel holds his hands up in defeat. “Look at it this way, ladies: I gave you a great story.” Britanya looks between me and Gabriel and winks. “Doesn’t seem like the story’s over.”

I replied and she smiled again. "No one would ever believe us or our story. That you married me forcefully. We look more romantic than the couples who have done love marriages." She said and giggled. I chuckled hearing her. She was right. No one would ever believe us. Not our future kids and grandkids. No one would believe our Stupid Love Story.

"Yeah seriously Jeff, that was really funny," I said through the phone. I have been on a call with Jeff for almost one minute, we’ve been talking about the dumbest thing; a car truck driver that was flirting with a waitress. I know it’s dumb, and why would anyone waste their time talking about that? But excuse us for being so weird, Jeff and I were basically bored at that moment and the waitress and driver were a source of entertainment. "Yeah okay, I will talk to you later," I said

Lenox pov Okay, so I didn’t get to see chihuahua faes attack the moron, but that doesn’t mean I won’t find some other way to have some fun around this guy. So far, the best I could think of is telling scary stories, and what’s even better is that this dude inhales each word like it’s true. “No! You can’t be serious!” He gasps, adding a step to his stride to keep up with me.

“Then tell me why the hell you think I find you unattractive?” “I find me unattractive. ” “You need laser surgery.” “Scott!” “Don't you dare 'Scott' me.” He was genuinely mad, she thought as she watched his eyes. He continued his tirade, “Lemme ask you this?” “Okay.” “Do you have a tail growing out of your anus?” A second later, she burst into laughter. “Scott?” He leaned back up, away from her and said with a bitter twist to his mouth. “Yes. Laugh. Laugh all you want. A man's misery is funny to you. Why not?”

He grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it off over his head, revealing a hairy chest, and tossed it onto the couch behind him. The room erupted in cheers and claps, like it was the funniest thing they’d seen all night, and I felt my breath catch in my throat as I watched. It didn’t stop there. The next hand went down, and another guy had to peel off his pants, standing there in his boxers while the group razzed him about his skinny legs.

There was one solitary, big book on a low table between them. "The title of the tale is The Binding of Autumn," he began, his voice an entrancing whisper just in harmony with the shriek of the fire. “It's the tale of a harvest god who offers a mortal woman a choice: one night of absolute freedom for one year of unimaginable riches for her people." He didn't move as his eyes met hers. "The consent is the matter at hand. It must be freely bestowed, not coerced, and whispered three times into the skin of his throat." “Do you have any idea what sort of story you're going to be reading me tonight?”

“Why would I change when you’ll never stop trying to earn a joke from every situation?” “Isn’t life more fun with jokes? Something to laugh about once in a while. You know, it makes the world beautiful and fun when it’s dark. Studies even say laughter heals faster than herbs do. Lowers pain, strengthens the heart, clears the head. Makes the blood flow freer. In short — that’s why I’m looking younger and living longer. Which of those old people in the pack is as old as me, uh? None. I’m the oldest.”

He brandished the book he was reading and said to Anna, "Look! Merpeople do exist! Sylvie is a mermaid. She was the one who rescued me from the ocean all those years ago…" "You've lost your mind, Connor." Anna snatched the book and tore out the page that spoke of merpeople before continuing, "Merpeople don't exist! You told me that yourself. You also promised that I'd be the only person you'd ever love. "Do you know that ever since the video of you and Sylvie went viral, I've become a laughingstock in Jewelton? Everyone is mocking me for being deluded and overestimating myself. They all say I'm just Sylvie's substitute!"

“Let me guess. The time I fell out of a tree trying to rescue a cat?” “And get stuck yourself,” he finished, his grin widening. “Yep, that one made the highlight.” “Unbelievable,” I muttered. “Anything else?” “Oh, plenty,” he said, his eyes twinkling with mischief. “Like the time you tried to ride a bike down a flight of stairs because, and I quote, ‘It’ll totally work.” I groaned louder, hiding my face in my hands. “Why does he share the most humiliating stories?” “Because they’re funny,” he said, his tone light but teasing. “And, if I’m being honest, kind of impressive. I mean, you survived riding a bike down stairs. That’s bold.”