Hilarious Long Stories Novels & Stories

In the cafeteria, Dexter opened our chat with a strange, distracted look on his face. "Did you get to the hotel? Have you eaten?" He hit send, but the message bounced back as undeliverable. He couldn't believe it. He backed out and went in again, but no matter how many times he tried, it was the same thing. A colleague ribbed him. "Well, well. Even our resident genius gets blocked sometimes. "Can't say I blame her, though. Look at this. She sends you all those messages, and you reply with one word. Who'd put up with that?"

or, you know, life. It’s okay that he’s talked incessantly on the drive to the hotel about his new business idea. The one that has no actual plans attached to it and consists of “well, weed is legal now in some states” and “I know some guys.” And it’s okay that even at thirty-eight, he’s still so good-looking that the clerk at the front desk looks like she’s in a bit of a daze from his focused attention. I know the feeling, sister. It’s how he got me pregnant at sixteen.

I replied and she smiled again. "No one would ever believe us or our story. That you married me forcefully. We look more romantic than the couples who have done love marriages." She said and giggled. I chuckled hearing her. She was right. No one would ever believe us. Not our future kids and grandkids. No one would believe our Stupid Love Story.

“Oh you like that? Well I also proposed to her the day I met her and she said no!” I groaned and covered my face, thinking about how embarrassing that was. “Oh, and then I gave her my virginity only to find out days later that she was sleeping with my best friend. So I went to go kill her ex and instead she almost died. Now she barely even likes me.” How do the Griffons find these sad stories so funny? I mean sure there’s some humor to it, but I consider it ‘you had to be there’ humor. “Thank you, I’ll be here a few more hours hopefully!” Hunter grinned and waved.

"Yeah seriously Jeff, that was really funny," I said through the phone. I have been on a call with Jeff for almost one minute, we’ve been talking about the dumbest thing; a car truck driver that was flirting with a waitress. I know it’s dumb, and why would anyone waste their time talking about that? But excuse us for being so weird, Jeff and I were basically bored at that moment and the waitress and driver were a source of entertainment. "Yeah okay, I will talk to you later," I said

Lenox pov Okay, so I didn’t get to see chihuahua faes attack the moron, but that doesn’t mean I won’t find some other way to have some fun around this guy. So far, the best I could think of is telling scary stories, and what’s even better is that this dude inhales each word like it’s true. “No! You can’t be serious!” He gasps, adding a step to his stride to keep up with me.

His brother fell in love and finally became a comedian? Then Harold sent some jokes. Rhino saw the jokes and said to Calista, "Wanna hear a funny joke?" Calista was looking down and uttered,"Say." Rhino started to crack jokes. " A bear walks into a bar and says, 'Give me a whiskey and … cola.' The bartender looked at the bear and asked, 'Why is there a big pause between whiskey and cola?' The bear shrugged. 'I’m not sure; I was born with them.' " Calista smiled faintly. But her upsetness hadn't decreased even a little. Rhino was disappointed again. He told a few more jokes like this. But still Calista was not smiling. Rhino's rhythm was sweaty. It seemed to him that he was giving a big exam

“Then tell me why the hell you think I find you unattractive?” “I find me unattractive. ” “You need laser surgery.” “Scott!” “Don't you dare 'Scott' me.” He was genuinely mad, she thought as she watched his eyes. He continued his tirade, “Lemme ask you this?” “Okay.” “Do you have a tail growing out of your anus?” A second later, she burst into laughter. “Scott?” He leaned back up, away from her and said with a bitter twist to his mouth. “Yes. Laugh. Laugh all you want. A man's misery is funny to you. Why not?”

Jordan was in the middle of telling some wild story about his last game, arms waving around while the guys crowded him. “Man, I swear the ref was blind as fuck,” Jordan said, his voice loud and cocky. He grinned that big dumb smile of his, the one that always got people hyped. I tried not to look at his chest, before I started some nonsense weird thoughts again. “I had that shit in the bag until he called it.” I slapped his back hard. “Tell them about the part where you almost ate turf, bro. Don’t skip the funny bits.” He shot me a look but kept going, and I played my role like always, hyping him up, handing out shots, making sure the vibe stayed electric.

There was one solitary, big book on a low table between them. "The title of the tale is The Binding of Autumn," he began, his voice an entrancing whisper just in harmony with the shriek of the fire. “It's the tale of a harvest god who offers a mortal woman a choice: one night of absolute freedom for one year of unimaginable riches for her people." He didn't move as his eyes met hers. "The consent is the matter at hand. It must be freely bestowed, not coerced, and whispered three times into the skin of his throat." “Do you have any idea what sort of story you're going to be reading me tonight?”