I Hate Myself So Much

The worst mistake he made was leaving in the first place and the second mistake he made was distrusting her. Maybe he didn't deserve her, maybe he did but all he wants in this life and the next is Amber by his side. With his imperfections and her perfections. 'I need you to stop kissing me.'

Gabriel Steele was the most disciplined Alpha in the northern territories. A man who ruled his pack by order, law, and absolute authority. Which was exactly why our mating was a disaster. Last life, when my father handed me the Steele Marking Contract, I signed it without hesitation. I thought becoming Luna meant belonging somewhere. Instead, I spent years being laughed at. At pack galas, noble she-wolves whispered behind my back. “Wait—that woman with the green hair and the tiny skirt is our Luna?” “She looks like she walked straight out of a nightclub.” “No discipline, no manners… how embarrassing for the pack.” Cassian didn’t defend me； “Forgive her. She still has much to learn about pack discipline.” Discipline? Like I was some unruly wolf that needed breaking. So I buried my claws, silenced my instincts, and lived inside his laws— until the wolf inside me withered away. When I opened my eyes again— I was back at the moment the mating contract was placed before me. This time, I wrote another name on the contract. Amelia. She can have the disciplined Alpha. As for me— I’d rather be a wild she-wolf than anyone’s perfect Luna. But the moment Gabriel realized the bride wasn’t me—The Alpha who lived by iron law Broke every rule he had ever sworn to follow.

I had funded Tilly Jenkins for five years—and spent those same five years chasing after her. Just when I thought I had finally won her heart—when I believed she was ready to spend her life with me—I discovered the truth: the one she had loved all along was her childhood sweetheart, the boy who had grown up by her side. I, on the other hand, to her, was nothing more than a privileged elite who used money to grind her pride into the dirt. A few years into our marriage, she secretly transferred my assets away—and even had a child with that childhood sweetheart of hers. In the end, I died filled with resentment, trapped in a raging fire. The flames reflected the sight of the three of them together, smiling like a perfect family, while I cried myself to death in despair. After I was reborn, Tilly's childhood sweetheart shoved me hard, sneering with open contempt. "What do you take us for? Toys for rich people like you?!" I slipped my bank card back into my pocket at once. "Sorry, having money doesn't mean I'm brain-dead. I'm not interested in trashy toys like that."

Carter A highly respected young businessman and owner of a large fortune, but who hides a dark past. He grew up on the streets and, to escape poverty, he entered the drug trade. Owner of an incomparable reputation, but what no one imagines is that he has a cold heart and embittered by abandonment. Hate consumes his life and the search for revenge motivates him to move forward, because he is not able to forgive those who hurt him in the past. His goal is to become richer and richer and he doesn't mind using anyone to achieve his goals. For him, people are to be used at will or to humiliate. "I'm still going to find her and if she's not dead, I'll kill her myself."

Following a heartbreak from my betrothed and the man I have loved all of my life, I leave my home and family behind, seeking solace in the Realm of the Humans. Having no qualifications to live in a world bound by stupid rules has me jumping at an absurdly good offer to be the personal assistant to a top class business man. And my first assignment is delivering his forgotten wedding rings to the event. I found my mate. My boss, standing at the altar, exchanging vows with a puny human woman I could break in half if I wanted to. I flee, fingers clutching the damned ring boxes. He leaves his fiancée at the altar, chasing after me, but it makes no difference to me. I have had my fair share of rejections and I can't take anymore of it. So, I reject him, before he can do the same to me. But rather than cower in pain, he cracks a grin that makes my stony heart stumble, and leans forward, several feet taller than me. "And you're fired."

After failing the mission, the System gave me one final chance, and to succeed, I had to give birth to a child. The System promised that if the baby were born safely, it would reveal the truth to my target and give me one last glimmer of hope. However, six months into my pregnancy, just when things seemed stable, I was dragged onto an operating table in the middle of the night by my husband and family. My husband stopped the anesthesiologist from giving me any pain relief. “Let her feel the pain,” he said coldly. “We need to keep the kidneys as fresh as possible.” My parents instructed the doctor to draw my blood. “She’s the same blood type as our precious girl. Let’s take some for backup.” Even my childhood friend, the boy who had always been by my side, was the one to slice open my abdomen.  They wanted my kidneys to save my sister, who was dying from kidney failure. No one believed I was pregnant. No matter how much I begged, they went ahead with the operation, tearing me open. The baby couldn’t survive, and I died on that operating table. However, as my soul began to fade away, something strange happened. Those who had murdered me—my husband, my parents, my so-called friend—they all lost their minds.

Dawn never wanted to cross paths with the crazy King of Euphoris whom everyone loathed and avoided. He was unpredictable and inconsiderate. Nothing good came out of his rule. But her worst fears came to pass when she's forced to go to the castle against her wishes. The King was expecting a new bride, a princess from another kingdom that day but unfortunately, she killed herself because of fear of who the King was. The bride had to be replaced without much thought and Dawn fell right into their trap. Her story begins when she meets the King's two wives who hate her and wants to make her life a living hell. And the King she's marrying whose psychotic side was far different from what everyone thought it was.

I waited for Alex for over five years. I endured the whispers of the clan, the mocking gazes, the judgment from his family who never thought I was good enough. Still, I waited—because I loved him. I believed in him. I trusted that he would choose me in the end. But the truth shattered me. One evening, I saw his laptop left open. And on the screen—countless photos of Elsa. His childhood sweetheart. His first love. It felt like a knife twisting in my chest. While I was drowning in problems, silently begging for his support, he was smiling by her side. All those years I gave him... all that waiting… I got nothing. So I left. Broken. Exhausted. Done pretending I was okay. I traveled far from our pack, seeking solitude under the excuse of pack relocation. But the truth was, I was trying to stitch myself back together—one breath, one step, one bitter tear at a time.But now… he’s gone mad looking for me. Why, Alex? Why do you search for me now, after crushing me so completely? When I stood by you, you looked past me. Now that I’ve finally let go… Why do you care?

My biggest mistake was marrying the Alpha who hated me. To him, I was never a wife or a Luna, just a living blood bank kept alive to save the woman he loved. My stepsister. He believed every lie she told him and never once chose to believe me. When I finally couldn’t endure it anymore and walked away, he was certain I would come crawling back. He was so sure I wouldn’t survive without him. But I didn’t return. I died instead. At least, that’s what the world believes. Only after my death did he begin to question everything. Only then did the truth surface. Only then did he realize that the woman he destroyed was the only one who had ever loved him without conditions. They say death ends everything. For me, it was only the beginning. Now… I am the Alpha’s greatest regret.

This is a story of Bridgette who grew up smart, a typical NBSB girl at the age of 21, and who started falling in love late. Many believes that she is weird, she is a little introvert, and only has few friends. She is so focused on her studies because she wants to be a lawyer someday. She believes that being a lawyer will eventually help her family financially, and will definitely make her parents proud. She is the darling of the crowd because of her skills, friendly personality, and smiling face, but when at home, she prefers to stay whole day inside her room, and have some time with herself. Bridgette or Jette for short has a secret that she keeps for a long period of time. Jette will fall in love at the peak of her career goals… to someone who is a boy next door, and a former classmate, his name is Alejandro or Drew for short. Drew will be her first heart break, leaving her with nothing but tears in her eyes. After so long, they will meet again… at an unexpected way… Will Jette's secret be revealed this time?