I Was Only Nineteen Novels & Stories

CROSS It was my turn for my jaw to hit the ground. "I could tell she was different. I was nineteen. She was God knows how old," she chuckled quietly, nothing funny about it, just the kind to hold herself together. "But she was very youthful and attended college like everyone else."

I hadn't felt nineteen. Weeks ago when I was kissing Eric in the forest I felt nineteen. When I lay beside him on the floor of his room reading through his journals I felt nineteen. The shock of my father's murder had made me feel much older. Nineteen seemed like a distant birthday and a distant number. I suddenly hated nineteen.

I wiggled my eyebrows at her, and she rolled her hleyes at me in response. "Shut up. I didn't come here to talk about me. I came here for you," "Huh?" I was genuinely confused. "It's your birthday next week, silly! You'll be nineteen. I thought you'd be excited enough to remember" I didn't realise I was that close to my birthday. My mind was too preoccupied with other things. I remembered when I was younger and I'd told Talia that I would always look forward to my nineteenth birthday because eighteen was only the first year in adulthood and I'd still be a fresher until I turned nineteen.

I shrugged casually, the event of that day flooding my head. It was my nineteenth birthday and I was busy doing my Omega thing when I started getting this weird urge to go over to the Pack training grounds. At the time, I didn't understand what was going on and no matter how hard I'd fought to stay away from the one place I was never allowed entry, I kept having the same nagging at the back of my mind so I decided to just follow through and get over it.

Which he already does. “I wasn’t nineteen,” I said quietly, forcing each word out. “I was twenty. I need you to know that.” People always assumed otherwise, and it mattered that he didn’t. He tilted his head, his eyes narrowing, studying me like he could dig the truth out with just a look. “Go on, Red.” The old nickname slid from his lips, low and rough. My throat tightened. It had been long since he’d called me that. “It was with someone… someone I didn’t know.” The words were barely above a whisper. I wished I could swallow them back.

"I’m not experiencing any heat, Gina. Don't think too much into it. I'm still nineteen, not twenty. I’ve got time." Gina shakes her head, a knowing look on her wrinkled face. "It happens at nineteen for some people too, honey. Sometimes, your body doesn't always wait for a birthday. You have that look about you." "Forget it," I say, my voice coming out sharper than I intended. "I have to get going. Goodnight, Gina." I walk away quickly, heading for the register. I pay for my ice cream, my hands trembling slightly as I take the change. I just want to get out of these bright lights and away from her prying eyes. I hail another taxi outside and tell him my home address.

“Wait… really? You?” “Yeah, haha! Looking at me now, you’re surprised I went through a huge burnout in my early days, right? And honestly, you’ve got it easier you’re a whole year younger than I was when I took charge of my pack. I was nineteen!” “…Right. I never pictured you going through that stage too…”

"How old are you?" I started eyeing her up and down, but no matter how closely I examined her face, Octavia still looked as young as a seventeen-year-old girl to me. Or maybe she just looked young. "I'm nineteen," she answered at last. "Only nineteen?" "I graduated with a Master degree from Italy last year." "Really? And...and how long have you been nineteen?" I said. She chuckled at me when she saw my disappointed face. "What do you expect me to be? A hundred and two?" she said.

I’d just called her ‘mum’. I shook my head and buried my face in my hands. It was my first day at work today and my brain was already mangled. How could I only be 19? That meant that I was only 2 when I was adopted, not 3. And it means that I was a year younger than everyone in my class. I went to school a whole year too early! And then when I thought I was 18 I was only 17. Shit! I sat up abruptly, realisation hitting me like a ton of bricks.