Novel & Cerita If He Had Been With Me Analysis

Maybe I was fucked. Maybe I was already too far gone. But if I was going down, it was going to be with her. In every way that mattered.

He was stuck with me. Even I wouldn’t want that fate.

Adea I was speechless as I watched him walk away from me. I felt as if I had been rejected. I knew that’s not what happened but it still hurt. I really thought he would have taken me with him. I had been right to be scared that he would say no. I couldn’t comprehend what would make him do this. I didn’t need anything but him. I didn’t need anyone but him. The door closed behind him and I was left behind in this room. I wanted to run after him but I knew it was pointless. I couldn’t bring myself to move, so I just stayed where I stood. My mind struggled to understand why he would leave me here.

As it hovered in front of my face I examined it but nothing came to mind. “Why is this in your mind?” I asked, to which the beast snapped his fingers and made it return to him. “Apparently it is a part of us.” He tells me. I began to think about his words. It's part of us? How? Why? Maybe there was a relationship this other guy had with someone else. Guess it only went as far as engagement. Maybe they broke up. “Ah! It's hopeless.” I uttered with frustration flooding in.

He took in a deep breath returning the intimate gesture, "I know this isn't easy, if I was in your position I'd be in denial about it too but I'm going to be there with you every step of the way." "You know most would have walked out by now," he chuckled squeezing me but not to the point it would elicit any discomfort. I looked up at him caught up in a trance like state between realism and a dream sated by the fact that I was where I was meant to be, "Well... when you lov –"

He murmured in tensed tones and I could not understand the wave of anger I felt coming towards him. “James?” I gave a wry chuckle that came out dry and hoarse, before continuing. “He was beside me of course, enjoying the party. Though to do him justice, he noticed when I got up from the table and it was me who stayed him with my hand, with an excuse that I just needed to take some breather upstairs. I guess he was so tipsy also, he did not notice I was almost wobbling on my feet.” I explained with a sad, reflective smile. If only I had allowed him to go with me, maybe then what happened could have been prevented.

You're nothing without me! He had a fair point. I didn’t have anything without him, but something told me I would be way better of that way.

I recognised it because I had been seeing it in my own reflection for five years. “Mind if I walk with you?” he said. “I can go ahead. I don’t want to interrupt whatever you were doing.” I had been walking alone at five in the morning with the river and the dark and everything in my skull. His company was not the worst thing that could happen. “Walk,” I said.

“You’re here because you’re with me. And that’s all that matters.” But is that even enough? Me with him? I figured it wasn’t. And I am afraid that he might realize it sooner than I have expected.

Was something wrong with me? What did he mean by he wished it was me? Why couldn’t it be me? Ugh, shut up, Avara, don’t tell me you’re already agreeing to this madness. But I was his mate. His other half? The thought was on my mind as I slept off.