If He Had Been With Me Analysis Novels & Stories

Almost like he was a part of me and I could feel myself thinking a lot clearer than I had been these past few days. Winston's presence near me settled me. It made me feel okay and alright. I didn't know how to explain it and I was sure that he was feeling the same way too, more than that I was sure he was feeling more than I felt too. Winston wasn't the sort of man to easily concede. The fact that he was with me here meant he had probably tried his best to get rid of whatever was between us and he had ended up failing severely, and so here we were.

The man whose eyes had met mine only hours ago. I still couldn't shake the way he'd looked at me. Not with disgust. Not with anger. Not even simple curiosity. It had felt like recognition, like he'd been searching for something without realizing it until that exact moment. A shiver ran down my spine and I told myself to stop being ridiculous. He didn't even know my name. I shook the thought off and kept walking. I had enough problems already.

He smiles more when you’re around. Maybe he had. And maybe, just maybe, I had too. The thought had been terrifying because it meant I was no longer just a spectator. I had been a participant, willingly weaving my own threads into the tapestry of his broken life, and I had a sinking feeling that when it all unraveled, I would be pulled apart right along with him.

“I’ll be nearby if you need me.” I hated how calm he was, how sure he sounded. Like he already knew what I’d decide. Did mind reading come with the supposed bond we shared?

And as I turned the keys in the ignition and pulled back onto the road, I glanced over at him. Still here. Still mine. And even though I didn’t say it out loud, I think he knew: So was I. Always.

I reminded him I watched in amazement as the man I actually considered to be my best friend sat down and thought about what I had said. Wasn't it very obvious that I had nothing to do with what he was saying? How could he still believe that I had something to do with it and I had a bad motive about it all?

He doesn't seem to be reading my brain anymore. He entered first and I immediately followed him. I hope I will not regret this decision one day.

I begin to relax – however , I feel some discomfort with my face being pressed against him but he is helping me. “I do not know what happened… no one does , except you – but it looks as if you are as clueless as we are….” He says softly – the last part he says to himself. I do not need to look at him to know that the wheels in his mind are turning ; hell , the wheels in my mind are turning as well. What had happened to me?!!

I didn’t know how much more I could take from him but I knew for a fact that for as long as he was here, and in my life and worse, now my mate, I was in for a long ride. Alan had just pulled me into his world and nothing was ever going to bring me out.

And, the best part, was that, I was there with Mikhail. He was the perfect company. I enjoyed his presence and he enjoyed mine. Maybe I could enjoy this while it lasts, until fate comes to take him away from me like it always does.