Novel & Cerita It's My First Time Being Loved

Like he needed to remind both of us that I was his. I let him. I wanted it. Because for the first time in my life I felt loved. Wanted. Cherished. I was falling completely. And I did not want to stop. But the world outside our bubble was waiting. And it was about to crash in hard.

The truth, laid bare and unsoftened. Owen sank back down onto the bed as if his legs could no longer hold him. His chest ached in ways he didn’t know were possible, like grief was pressing outward from the inside. For the first time in years, he saw her not as the woman he’d grown accustomed to, but as the woman he’d failed to love properly. Even from his own indifference. “I didn’t know how to love you right,” he whispered, shame threading through every word. “I know,” she said. Her voice was kind. That somehow hurt the most. “And for a long time, I accepted that. But I don’t want to survive in love anymore. I want to feel it.”

"Do you think I'd let it hurt you? I'm not going to let some damn rock kill the woman I love. You've already had enough for one day, I couldn't see you almost die on me again." My heart stutters in my chest. This is the first time he's ever said he loves me. He's said he claimed me, but those are two different things. I don't know how to explain the explosion of emotions racing through my being. More than any touch, his words just rocked my entire existence.

After making love, telling her how much I loved her was a very vulnerable moment. "I love you, Zane..." she said it back. It was not fancy, there were no fireworks, no fanfare, and yet it was the most beautiful moment I have ever lived in my life. Most of my life had been torture, pain, experiments... I never thought I would be loved this way, or that I would be capable of loving someone the way I love her. I kissed her temple and wrapped my arms around her body... It was the first time we confessed our love for each other; it was the first time we opened our hearts and allowed the other to see how pure our love was.

There was just us—finally free to fall, to love, to be. And for the first time in a long time, I allowed myself to fall.

I had to go back and get back to my life. Last night, everything changed. Almost. First time I made love to someone. It was amazing. I could feel my heart beating so fast in my chest in that moment, it seemed like it’d break free or would stop altogether. I had prolonged the release for both of us, I wanted it to last forever, because in that moment I didn’t feel like I was on foreign land, in foreign country. It felt like I was home.

“First love is always hard to let go of, even when you’re ready. It’s okay to feel sad about it. It doesn’t mean you’re stuck. It just means you’re human.” Lillian managed a small smile, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Thanks, Mom.” Claire squeezed her hand gently. “You’re going to be okay, Lil. You’ve got so much ahead of you, and love will come around again, in its own time. For now, just give yourself permission to feel what you’re feeling. Don’t rush through it.”

And when I pulled back, I finally gave her the truth. “Because I love you.” Her eyes widened, and I didn’t stop. I couldn’t. “Ivy, I’ve never felt this before. I’ve never wanted anyone to the point of madness, never cared if anyone stayed or left. I didn’t even believe love was real, just a leash people put on themselves. But you…” I swallowed hard, my voice thick. “You are the first thing in my life that feels like it can’t be taken, bought, or broken. You’re not a leash, you’re freedom. And I am so goddamn in love with you it terrifies me.”

I know I'm not this dumb but this love thingy keeps on messing my mind. This keeps on running to mind and it's my first time. I feel like a three year old now that I can't make a decision on my own. "I understand. We all are confused at our first times but you know? Being loved and loving is the most wonderful feeling that you'll ever feel as a human. You'll just feel that unidentified feeling once but I'm sure it's all worth it." Debbie said and caressed my back.

My eyes automatically closed feeling her soft lips lingering on my forehead. I never felt this much peace before. I savoured the moment like a greedy person. The places her lips were lingering were feeling tingly and light like she was worshipping my skin. I never kissed someone before becoming I only fuck their holes and threw them away. First time I felt how it felt to be loved by someone.