Jokes To Tell Your Girlfriend Novels & Stories

Maren ’s ex invites her to his wedding just three months after their breakup, she almost spirals back into depression. Then her best friend who works for the Seattle Icehawks offers her job to date the star Goalie Gideon Patton who happens to be her ex favorite player and which sounds like the perfect revenge plan against her Ex. Pretending to date him is supposed to be payback. But somewhere between staged kisses and stolen glances, the line between pretending and real emotions begins to blurred.

"There's no way i have a wolfless and stuttering mate like you, Tessa." With that, Alpha Frederick threw the pregnancy test I handed him back in my direction. “Go find the father of your baby on your own and don’t ever come to me again." ***** Having me as a pack member is a shame enough for Frederick Alonso, my Alpha and the man I have loved since I was twelve. What would happen when one day, it turned out that we were a fated mate? Furious isn't even enough to describe it. Alpha Frederick thinks I'm playing tricks on him. Rejected, slandered, humiliated, and now hated by my family and the whole pack members, I determined to make him and them all regret it. Just when I already killed the pathetic girl in the past, he came back into my life. But I am no longer the stuttering weakling, I'm the most powerful hybrid that everyone worships. Now that I believe love only makes me weak and Frederick isn’t worthy of me anymore, am I going to let him be my weakness?

Terrance Burgess slapped me in front of the entire company, all because I accidentally knocked over his assistant's vase. My five-year-old son, Claude Burgess, stood off to the side, clapping like it was something worth cheering for. Afterward, the assistant walked up to me while holding the bouquet the father and son had given her, showing it off right in my face. "So what if you're the wife? The one who isn't loved is the real outsider." I looked at her calmly. "Then you'd better watch yourself. If he can have you on the side, he can just as easily find someone else after you." I used to think I had a happy, complete family. Until Terrance's assistant came along and made me realize it had all been in my head. The love from that father and son had already moved on to someone else. That was the moment something in me went completely still. I called a number I hadn't contacted in years. "Dad, I want to come home and take over the family business."

Blurb Stealing is all Mila’s ever known. Trained by her parents to be the perfect little siren to lure rich men in and steal from them. Until fate catches up with her and a Mafia associate she has just robbed wants his money back, with a staggering interest. Stealing to return stolen money is a disastrous plan, but one she readily goes along with. But the General is like no other man she’s ever crossed parts with. He makes her come alive in ways she had never envisioned and soon she finds herself falling for a man who is only supposed to be a job. Amid this perfect betrayal and unexpected love is an enemy that always seems to be one step ahead and the biggest twist yet in her already complicated story.

Thirty days into our argument, my girlfriend kissed her first love passionately right in front of me. I quietly asked my boss for a transfer to the Northern City branch, which was thousands of miles away. Her friends clapped and teased me. “Ivan, your girlfriend’s getting a new boyfriend. Aren’t you going to win her back?” I held her hand and sincerely said, “I’m sorry.” She looked down at me with a proud smile. “Okay, I forgive you. Tomorrow, pack your things. We’re going to see my parents.” I smiled and agreed. But she did not know I was leaving for Northern City that night.

On Valentine’s Day, someone stabbed my mother-in-law twenty times until she died. So, I took the murderer to court. My wife was a renowned lawyer, but she decided to defend him. I confronted her in anger, but she casually replied, “Derek’s younger brother is still a college student. Can’t you be a little more forgiving? “I’ll bring Derek and his younger brother along to visit your mother’s grave. Drop the charges. Don’t let this go to trial and embarrass me when you lose the case.” Looking at the mangled corpse full of stabbing wounds, I could not help but let out a bark of laughter. It looked like she was still unaware that the corpse was actually her own mother.

On New Year’s Eve, I was working overtime at a mall. Then, I saw my girlfriend rent out the mall’s largest digital billboard to pressure a poor student into marrying her. I was about to go over and question them when the poor student responded emotionally, “Getting confessed to in my family’s mall is so romantic and meaningful.” “Silly boy. I’ve loved you for five years. Of course, I was going to propose. So, marry me, okay?” Then, they kissed passionately amid a chorus of cheers. They even won the mall’s Best Couple award that night. I smiled bitterly and volunteered to present the award to them. I wanted to see just what would happen when trash found trash.

On the six-year anniversary of my relationship with my girlfriend, Sheila Loom, I buy some groceries with the intention to surprise her with a home-cooked meal. After I'm done, I head over to Sheila's place right away. That's when the reel I was watching automatically skips to the next one. It's a live stream where people call in to discuss legal matters. A familiar feminine voice drifts to my ears at that moment. "My boyfriend shelled out 500 thousand dollars to put me through school. I've already paid ten thousand back to him. "At first, I wanted to clear the debt before breaking up with him, but I don't want to wait any longer. If he insists on taking me to court after the breakup, can I still pay the debt off slowly?" Almost immediately, comments flood into the comments section, chewing her out and calling her a heartless wench. But the voice replies calmly, "If I truly were heartless, I wouldn't have paid him back to begin with. I no longer have feelings for him. Are you saying that I should sacrifice the rest of my life just so I can pay 500 thousand dollars back to him?" My heart skips a beat at that moment. It's true that I've spent 500 thousand dollars putting Sheila through school over the years. But I feel that I'm overthinking it, seeing as she's never brought up the matter of wanting to pay me back before. After I call Sheila repeatedly for half an hour, she finally answers my latest phone call. At the same time, the woman's phone call that's connected to the live stream is cut off. "It's my birthday today, Sheila—" "Have you secretly come looking for me again? Didn't we agree that we'll only meet up after you've successfully gotten into college?" I don't get to finish the rest of my sentence. Suddenly, I catch a glimpse of the notebook sitting on the corner of Sheila's table. The first page shows "debt repayment ledger". Some of the details are as shown. "The SAT study materials I bought for him: 188 dollars." "The Uber fees I've paid for him: 35 dollars." "The cologne I've gifted him on his birthday: 380 dollars." "Total: ten thousand dollars now paid."

During the company’s celebration party, Zenia Andrews, my girlfriend, declared in front of everyone that she was going to get married. Everyone turned to look at me with teasing smiles. “Not bad, Felix; you’re finally tying the knot with Zenia.” However, their smiles stiffened the very next second, because Zenia announced that she was not marrying me, but her assistant. I showed no sign of anger or sadness. I just dug out a wad of cash and threw it in her face. “Get someone else to be his bridegroom. Here’s five hundred dollars. Split it evenly between you two.” Zenia ran over and said airily to me, “Don’t get jealous so easily! I already told you that we’re just going through the motions. He’s a foreigner and wants to get a green card. The easiest way for him to do so is by marrying me. The moment he gets it, we’ll get divorced. Then, I’ll marry you right away, okay? He even prepared a wedding gift for you to repay you!” I just smiled as I listened to her. When she saw that I was not behaving strangely, she nodded in relief and returned to the banquet hall. She trampled all over my love like it was worth nothing. How could I possibly let her trample all over it again? My next reaction was to call our rival company. “We’ll do as we promised last time. I’ll bring all the core patents when I join you.”

You saved a dying pup. It vanished. Now, rifling through your contract husband's drawer, you find the collar. "You stole my dog!" you hiss. "Sweetheart, that wasn't a dog." A growl rumbles in the dark. "It was an Alpha wolf — and you belong to him now."