Kickass Humour

Sanggano. Barumbado. Tarantado. Ilan sa pantukoy kay ISAGANI TRINIDAD sa lugar na kinalakhan. Wala siyang pakialam sa kahit anong marinig lalo na kung walang ambag sa buhay niya. One night, he was kidnapped. And the one who abducted him, was a beautiful woman named Willow Esposito Ivanov. The reason---Willow wants him to join Foedus, an organization that once he won't survive the initiation, it means he will die. Snatched. Fascinated. Jeopardized. Three words he felt while being initiated. And when he thought everything was fine after he became a member of Foedus and has Willow on his side... the reason why he was chosen, and the secret behind his past will blow to his face like a bomb.

"I should have killed you the first time I saw you, so I can finally rest. But you're blood is shouting for me to taste it, savor it." Ashley Arevalo lives as a nurse by day and a huntress by night. Ang mga nilalang na sumisipsip ng dugo sa pagsapit ng gabi ang kaniyang tinutugis. When she met Luke Morrison, a handsome young Doctor, who disappears every night, the virginity behind her sexy and daring outfits began rampaging. Sinubukan niyang akitin ito. Ngunit umatras nang malaman niya ang buong pagkatao ng lalaki. Isa itong bampira na kailangan niyang tugisin. Magagawa niya kaya iyon kung maski ito rin ay gusto siyang patayin? Magagawa niya kayang patayin ang napakagandang halimaw na bumihag sa kanyang puso?

ARYAN "Uh, now that I can't do." I smirked, lifting the picture of my future wife. Wife. I cringed at that word. I would'nt dare deny that she was attractive. But I would need more than those damn enticing dark blue eyes, dark black sex hair and a heart dropping smile. MEERA "Arranged marriages are so sick. How can you get married to a guy you have never me before? For all I know he could look like a military horse." I snickered at my thoughts.

“That must be enough to get you pregnant.” My eyes snapped open, but this time for a whole different reason. “What?” Blaze blinked, looking confused. “What what?” “What do you mean by pregnant?” I demanded, sitting up despite my exhaustion. “Pregnant, as in the mother of my child? You know... the surrogacy?” “Surrogacy? What surrogacy? What the fuck are you talking about?”

Kylie, an heiress left everything behind just to be with a man she loves. She quit her job to properly take care of the house. All she ever asked for was a loving husband but what did she get in return? A husband who announced his marriage with his Mistress in an interview! A husband who joined hands with his Mistress to get her arrested so she could be behind bars gone and forgotten. The heiress swore to make him pay! She swore to make him crawl! Begging for her forgiveness. Will the Ex-husband seek her forgiveness? Yes for sure Will Kylie accept him back? No! She gives no second chance to a scumbag! All she wants is revenge.

"I should f--k your pretty mouth just to make a better use of it. It talks too much..." Would it be a fair revenge or cheap stunt to sleep with my Ex's best friend? ..... "Go easy there..." He stands way too close to me. I glance at him but don't object. "Why do you care? It might serve you some purpose." I say while sipping my drink. He takes a hint and wraps his arm around my waist. "Good point! But I don't like sloppy girls in my bed." That one mistake and Natalie’s life became hell. Now she wants to spend her last year in school quietly with her head down. The past year bought so much drama and pain in her life, she wants to stay invisible and forget everything. Things get stirred up when his hot new neighbor joins her at school. Jacob doesn't like to explain his lack of interest in girls (or boys) to others. Girls hitting on him now and then doesn't help his case either. He knows he is different, but not sure exactly how. Life is about figuring yourself out and it's called a Spectrum for a reason, after all. When his friends were crushing over girls at barely 12-13 years old, He thought his time would come probably a year or later. Just when he lost all his hopes, he finally meets his first crush ever at the sweet age of 17.

Her name is Bunny Wild, at least that is what she is called in her videos. Alexis, as she is known to her close friends, is one of the main females within the p*rn company. She's no stranger to getting paid for having her acts filmed, however, when a high profile billionaire calls her boss and offers forty thousand to have Alexis for an hour and he film it himself, Alexis, is shocked, as it steps away from her usual work, no one requests the actors. This changes what she does, from prostitution, but her boss insists she goes to the man's place and follows his orders as she would at a regular shoot. Eros Pierce, the billionaire, has watched Alexis at work many times and has one fantasy that he believes she and only she can accomplish. Only he finds out her boss wasn't even giving Alexis 10% of what he was paying, and tries to cut out the middle man.

" No ! No! ! I didn't; I didn't do it ! I wasn't the one who killed your child let me go , I'm not guilty Your highness !" The woman's fuchsia hair was dishevelled and her dark oceanic blue eyes glimmered with despair , without a month's bath, her entire body was covered in stink and dirt . With her trembling shoulders , she cut a sorry figure but none , not one person standing in front of her felt pity for her . The woman was Chelsea Kaisen who was currently being held responsible for the crime of killing the unborn child of the Emperor ; Rogue Kellington . " Chelsea Rosalie Kaisen ; I ; The Emperor on account of the various witnesses and proves ; claim you as the culprit for killing the child of the Empress ; Lilian Amelia Kaisen. With Your Criminal record, This Emperor penalizes you with death due dismemberment " " No ! No , I didn't, Your Majesty I didn't!" Once the sentence fell in her ears Chelsea plunged to the greatest despair . She struggled against her cuffs but her magic failed against them , the harder she struggled the tighter they became . " Father ; brothers! Tell his majesty I didn't do it " When her pleas remained unheard by the Emperor . Chelsea could only turn her plea to her family yet no one listened to her . Instead they were consoling a pretty looking woman with silvery blonde hair and bright blue eyes . When The woman saw Chelsea look her way she shrunk into the embrace of the the man who looked so diffrent yet similar to her . " What are you waiting for; drag that criminal away!" when Rubious Kaisen saw his sister trembling in fear he immediately yelled the guards to take Chelsea away . Even though both were his sister yet he only supported Lilian not her . Coverart notmine - comment/email at somilsingh8400@gmail.com to takeitdown

Zaver Balley is what they call womanizer in town. Sa lahat ng babaeng naikama nito, ni isang pangalan ng babae ay wala itong matandaan. Sa dinami dami ba naman ng mga babaeng naikama niya just for one night, why bother remembering their names. Except for being a womanizer, he is a CEO of Balley Inc. His past time hobby---except for hunting girls---he loves mixing drinks and cooking. All women remember his name for being good in bed, no one dares to forget his name. But only one girl who dares to forget his name and that girl dares took his semen. "How dare you, damn woman, took my semen!"

COMPLETED "Let's give a minute of silence to our beloved sister, daughter-in-law and wife, Chloe Knightley who died by suicide as a result of depression." Mr. Marlowe announced while Chloe held onto his feet with a bleeding head, begging for mercy. ******* In a devastating moment of betrayal and tragedy, Chloe Knightley's life is turned upside down.  Struggling with infertility, she finds solace in the acceptance of her loving husband and in-laws. However, her world shatters when she discovers her husband's infidelity with her own step-sister.  Uncovering a web of deceit, Chloe realizes she was nothing more than a pawn in her own marriage.  Brutally betrayed and discarded, she meets a tragic end at the hands of those she once trusted.  But fate has other plans for Chloe.  Miraculously given a second chance at life, she vows to protect and love only the people who truly matter to her. And as she seeks justice against those who stole her life and tarnished her memory, she uncovers the hidden depths of love that were always within her grasp. In this unexpected twist of events, Chloe must navigate her new life, resolute in her determination to find redemption and expose the darkest secrets of the Marlowe family.