Novel & Cerita Pirate Puns

“YEAH ! LET THE UNINVITED MOTHERFVCKER GET A TASTE OF ALL OUR ATTENTION AND LOVE” “KILL ! KILL ! KILL !” “BARBECUE HIS ASS, FVCKERS !!” “EVERYONE SHUT THE “HELL” UP ! SEE ? SEE ? WHAT I DID THERE ?” “YEAH SUCKER. YOU USED A PUN FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YOUR LIFE” “HELL NO ! I AM PUN LORD” “NO YOU ARE POOP LORD. THAT’S IT” “SHUT UP, GUYS ! YOU ARE BEING SO UNCOOL”

I warned every single one to be extra careful. From then on, I stayed a few streets away. Periodically, one of the team came to let me know what had happened. - "'E went t'the docks." said Puli, a young fellow with horrifically large ears. He was permanently annoyed that I made him wear a variety of hats when he worked for me. "Met wi' two pirates fer 'bout an hour." - "Any idea who they are?" I asked. - "Denya's on it." - "Alright. That hat suits you, Puli. Looks good."

"What's so funny?" the pirate asked suspiciously. "Nothing," Seth said. He took a couple steps to the left so that if he raised his hand, the pirate's head would be directly between the war hammer and his hand. "What you playing at?" The pirate rotated his wrist to that his arm still pinned Ale's neck, but the knife was now pointing at Seth instead of her jugular. "That," Seth said the moment the pirate's blade left Ale's neck. He called his hammer with all his might.

“Prepare? There’s no way to prepare for pirates. They have weapons, so how do you propose we prepare for them with our pitiable numbers? I think we can only sit and wait for our doom. “We’re so f*cking unlucky. You must’ve brought your bad luck with you onto this ship, Theo. Why would we encounter pirates otherwise?” said a Shanglander with a huge beard as he pointed at Adrian.

Verity said and both of us backed away from the pirates that closed in on us on the open deck. A female pirate trudged closer to us on the deck. She had a rugged look with braided hair and wore a tricorn cap. Her eyes glinted as she licked her front teeth, sniffing at me and Verity. She smirked, chewing on a chewing gum. “Read it wrong, darling?” she lifted my chin, leaning in. “This ain’t ship 333. This is ship 33.3. People always miss that dot, lose their shot at life." She sang those words. “Haha. Girls like you do that more often.” She laughed and the men with her broke into malicious laughter.

One of the pirates said and the others grunted in agreement. "I bet you she feels better than the whores we had at Tampe Bay," Another said. "I don't know about that. I mean those women were exotic," Another replied and went to sit by the side of the ship with a cup full of ale. "I mean, their breast looked like watermelons and tasted sweet too..." He said again but before he could finish what he was saying, he fell backwards and screamed as he hit the water. The others laughed out loud thinking that their colleague had tripped over the ship because he was disoriented from being so drunk.

At the same time, coming out of the deck of the ship, the pirate captain were puzzled upon seeing all his crew stopping the ship and even laughing at the sea. “Wait..why are we stopping?…is that?!…it Sea Cheta!!…FUCKING MINDLESS GOON!!!…WHO STOPPED THE SHIP!!…I’M GONNA SKINN YOU ALIVEE!!!…..GGAAHHH!!!…”. ...

“The Discordian.” “You… you tricked us into coming out here! Fooled us into turning ourselves over to a bunch of pirates!” “Calm down. I’ve done no such thing. You’re acting like parlaying with a pirate’s some kind of death sentence.” “Maybe if they hadn’t shot at me so many times before, I wouldn’t see it that way.” “It’s not like they were shooting at you, personally. They’re pirates. They shoot at everything.” “Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

Just like the rest of his mates, average body of an alcoholic and unhealthy diet pirate, the Second Mate bravely spit out his words. It’s their inside joke. They, pirates, are usually stealing and hording women for their own lust and personal desires, and now . . . Searching for allies was never their doings. Captain Black Beard gives him the looks of great darkness and lust of spitting off his blood in his veins. “Are you ready to get your head off from your neck?” “N-No, c-captain.” Scared, trembling voice came out from his mouth while trying to straighten up his words into fix sentence. “Forgive me.”

The pirate broke down as he cried out in protest, “Even if we were to really paddle all the way back, it would take us at least a few days! How are we going to go back alive if we have no food or water?!” The junior captain asked with a surprised look on his face, “Aren’t you all pirates? Can pirates at sea still be afraid of having no food and water? There are so many merchant ships traveling back and forth on the Gulf of Aden. There is no lack of merchant ships for you to start robbing!” The pirates were filled with despair when they heard this.