Potatoes Not Prozac Novels & Stories

Whenever I was on a video call with my online boyfriend, I carefully angled the camera, terrified he might see my shabby rental. One day, the ‘curtain’ behind him slipped, revealing an original Picasso. I said, “Nice edit. It looks like the real thing.” He angled the camera and showed my doodle next to the Picasso. “Yeah, my dad said that this one’s worth the most.” When the day came for us to finally meet in real life, I lugged two sacks of potatoes, ready to help him out. The butler, dressed in a sharp suit, opened the door. “Ma’am, Mr. Rigsby has been waiting for you to pick out an engagement ring.” My knees gave out. “Um… Are these potatoes enough to make a pot of stew?”

All I've done is say something to my first love, whom I haven't met for many years. Since then, my wife, Linda Weber, demands that I report my whereabouts to her constantly. Otherwise, she won't hesitate to stop paying for our daughter, Lily Colt's medical bills. The first time happened when I was buying groceries. Linda told me to record a video of myself and tell the camera that I was her simp. The second time happened when I was accompanying Lily when she was undergoing a dialysis procedure. Linda demanded that I strip myself naked just so she could check if I was fooling around with other women in the same room. The third time happened when Lily finally got a kidney match. Linda demanded that I travel to the other end of the city just to buy the roasted sweet potatoes she had eaten on our first date together. By the time I have the roasted potatoes delivered to her with sweat drenching my form, I witness Linda giving the kidney source to her first love's mother just because I'm one minute later than the designated time. Only then do I realize that Linda has done all those things to me just so she can please James Harmon by pulling pranks on me purposefully.

Cent, short for Maleficent, recently found out that she is the daughter of the great demon Beelzebub when she got a pair of horns on her eighteenth birthday instead of a pair of skating shoes. She finally got her answer why she never once felt that she belonged, turns out, she is not entirely human. When her estranged dad came knocking to take her away from her wretched foster life, Cent grabs the opportunity to be with her only ‘living’ family. But, he is called the great demon for a reason. After disturbing her life, he drops her like a sack of potatoes in front of the gloomy gates of Transylvania Academy. She realized that before her great demon dad can accept her, she still needs to prove herself worthy. Does she have what it takes to carry the privilege as an only child of a great demon? Does she have what it takes to be a monster?

A split second before I swipe my card at the Hermès boutique, I hear my unborn son's scream inside my head. "Mom, don't buy this useless designer bag! The zombie apocalypse is only a month away! This is inedible, and it can't be used as a weapon either. What's the point of buying it? Buy essential food! Sell that limited-edition sports car at home and trade it for a bulletproof armored vehicle!" My hand trembles, and the purchase order worth millions scatters across the floor. The sales associate looks at me with disdain and says, "Ms. Webb, if you don't have enough funds, you can always come back another day." I ignore her and immediately turn around to call the owner of the wholesale market. Without wasting any time, I order, "I need 10,000 pounds of potatoes and 5,000 pounds of beef. Make sure it's the kind with the fatty parts! I want it delivered immediately!" From this moment onwards, the socialite Phoebe Webb who only knows how to shop is gone. In her place stands a survivalist obsessed with preparing for the end of the world.

My mom is a famous perfumer who's well-known in town. But her perfumes are charged per session. One session costs 200 thousand dollars. She only takes in ten customers per month, too. Those who have used the perfumes my mom has concocted will be enveloped by the perfumes' unique fragrance that leaves an unforgettable impression on those who have smelled it. In fact, the fragrance is capable of covering up the customers' body odor, no matter how strong it is. One session will leave the customers with enough fragrance that lasts for a month. Countless celebrities and rich women specifically travel to this town just to frequent my mom's business. Everyone sings praises about my mom, claiming that she's the mistress of all fragrances who's here to bless humanity with her gift. But I know that my mom isn't as amazing as everyone thinks she is. The only reason why her business is booming like this is all thanks to the "thing" that she keeps locked up in that room…

When I was six years old, I became an actual dummy after playing a silly game with my older sister, Hannah Hubbard. My mental age is stuck at six years old. Because of that, my grandma receives a huge shock, causing her condition to deteriorate. Since then, Hannah has completely transformed into a brand new person. Thanks to her scholarship and her efforts to collect and sell trash, Grandma and I are able to survive under her care. Hannah is such a prideful person, and yet when her classmates call her stupid nicknames, she doesn't get mad at them at all. But if anyone is to call me an idiot, Hannah will seek justice for me no matter what. That night, Hannah gathers me in her arms while crying soundlessly. "My Oliver isn't an idiot at all. You just haven't grown up yet. Oliver, promise me that you will never leave me, okay?" I just nod blankly. For the next three years, I cling to her like glue. That is, until Blake Mueller appears in our lives. When I'm done playing with the mud, I forget to wash my hands, so I accidentally soil Blake's white shirt with my soiled hands. That's when Hannah suddenly breaks down emotionally and kicks me out of the house. "Oliver Hubbard, you've dragged me down my whole life! Are you going to cause trouble for Blake as well? Can you please be more understanding and stop causing more trouble for me?" Finally, an idea sparks inside my dim-witted brain for once. It turns out that my existence brings nothing but misery to Hannah. So, I hide inside the casket Grandma has custom-ordered for herself. There, I close my eyes and begin counting down quietly. Three, two, one. Let the game begin.

My girlfriend Chloe Bennett's childhood buddy, Daniel Miller, binds himself to a transfer system. Everything he eats gets sent straight into my stomach. He creates a live stream channel and eats nonstop for 12 hours a day to rake in money. Meanwhile, I end up in the ER with acute pancreatitis. I try to explain everything to Chloe, but she just looks at me like I've lost my mind. "How could something that ridiculous exist? If food could magically transfer, nobody would starve in the world. You're just jealous he's making money from streaming." Afterward, Daniel's every live stream triggers another pancreatitis episode, sending me back to the ER until I'm barely holding on. I get tested, but the doctors can't figure out what's wrong. They even want to admit me to psych. Later, in a desperate bid to outdo another streamer, Daniel downs ten pounds of mashed potatoes at once. The overload destroys my spleen and stomach, causing massive internal bleeding that kills me. When I open my eyes again, I'm back on the day of Daniel's very first live stream. This time, I rush out and order 20 takeout dishes before him. "This time, I'm eating first."

Candice had been by Alex’s side since she was eighteen, evolving from just a partner to something more. Power and wealth gave her confidence, which got her thinking she was one of a kind in his heart. However, Alex hired a new secretarial intern, Sonia, who was youthful, naive, and charming. Despite her innocent look, Candice felt threatened; not because of what Sonia might do, but because Sonia reminded her of her younger self, of when she first met Alex.

When I was fifteen, I lent my rabbit’s foot luck to Shawn Crawford. Half a year later, his wealthy parents found him and came to the orphanage to take him home. When I was eighteen, I stopped him from getting involved with the school belle who bullied me. Later, the girl died on the spot in a car accident. Shawn blamed her death entirely on me. He prevented me from taking the college entrance examination and ruined my life. Forced into wandering homelessly, Shawn still refused to spare me. He sealed me inside a coffin and buried me alive. When I opened my eyes again, I was reborn to when I was eighteen years old. This time, I would reclaim what was mine, my rabbit’s foot luck.

Nathan Morrison is a hero who emerged victorious from a bloodbath and a general loved by the whole country. Suzanne York is a terrible woman with a horrible reputation who's undeserving of him, yet she ends up as his wife.There's another problem—some other woman holds Nathan's heart. He doesn't love Suzanne.She doesn't want to struggle and be tormented in a loveless marriage, so she throws him a divorce agreement. "Let's get divorced."Nathan can't be bothered. "I'm too busy for that."Suzanne leaves without another look back. When she appears in public again, she's now a genius scientist, philanthropic artist, and the daughter of the wealthiest man alive.She stuns the world with her identities, but Nathan remains scornful … until one day when a considerable conspiracy is unveiled."General Morrison, the woman you've loved for years is your ex-wife. You've had the wrong person this whole time!"Nathan's eyes turn red with insanity. When he finally tracks her down, almost half out of his mind, he claims, "You're the one I've always loved, my dear. Let's remarry!"