Quick Jokes For Adults Novels & Stories

My wife, Christine Leigh, forced me to the brink of death all for her first love, Henry Carson. To give him a liver transplant, she sent me to the surgery table. I told her I had cancer and that the doctors had advised against the surgery. She just looked at me with an undisguised contempt, "Jason Lowe, stop with your petty tricks. Don't forget, you owe our family your life!" I lowered my head and smiled bitterly. I never left the surgery table.

The day before our engagement, Stellan Graves came shopping with me, but his mind was clearly elsewhere. I bought a chili dog from a street stall and held it up to his mouth only for him to swat it out of my hand, sending it flying to the ground. Fury flashed across his face as he snapped, "Ivy Stein, the Graves family needs a woman who can actually show her face in public. Stop buying cheap trash like this. You're embarrassing me. How do you expect my parents to accept you like this?" I picked up the food in humiliation, threw it into the trash, and nodded meekly for the sake of our four years together in college. "As you wish." … However, the very next day, he switched his fiancee to Amelia Lane. "Ivy, Amelia tried to kill herself just to marry me. She's in the hospital now. Once she's stable again, I'll come back and marry you." Four years later, he showed up at my tiny apartment with a diamond ring in hand. "Ivy, Amelia has already agreed to divorce me. We can finally be together. I told you before—once Amelia lets go of her obsession with me and stops hurting herself, I'll come and marry you." I frowned at Stellan's so-called heartfelt expression. I must have had terrible luck that day. Who'd have thought I'd run into this wacko when I'd come back to my place on a whim?! "Move," I demanded, shoving him out the door. "You're blocking the way. I need to pick up my kid from school."

Dangerous Desires Book One. I, Zia Walker, take you, Xavier Luciano, to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. I will honor you all the days of my life. 'And above all, I vow not to fall for you.' ~~ Trapped with the responsibility to my family, fate forced me to marry Xavier Luciano. He was the perfect solution to my problems, but there was only one condition he asked before promising me his ‘I do.’ “Don’t fall for me,” was his unbreakable rule. I laughed at him that day, thinking how easy it is to follow his stupid rule. I’m in love with my ex-fiance, his younger brother Calvin, so what could possibly go wrong? I agreed without hesitation, seeing him as the ticket out of my life’s predicament. Like a raging wave, the realization of my vow’s weight crashed on me. How can I fulfill my promise, when even in the darkness and danger that surrounds him, I’m hauled like a moth to a flame? How can I fight the slow burn of falling for my husband? The man I swore to cherish and adore, until death do us part, and the one my heart chose to love. ~~ [Mature Content] ~~ Follow me on lnstagram Castiel_Lj Cover by DobolyuV

She died betrayed. Woke up claimed. Taylor Carson never thought in a second that a few minutes after handing divorce papers, the next minute, she was entangled by three Alphas. The Wolfric Pack calls her their Luna. But she knows one truth. That could ruin her life. Everyone watches her; she isn't the bride. But a soul that could change everything. She was brought here for something darker. Taylor was left to choose between being someone's pawn or following her feelings in the dark game.

My brother-in-law started making a fuss about wanting to spend Christmas vacation at the beach, so I decided we'd make it a family trip. When my husband's adoptive sister got wind of it, she insisted on tagging along with her kid. Without a second thought, my husband went ahead and booked plane tickets for everyone—except me. He expected me to drive there with all the luggage. I thought at least someone in the family would speak up for me, but no, they all sided with him. Fine. If that's how they want it, then we'll go our separate ways—what's theirs is theirs, and what's mine is mine. But the moment I took that stance, the whole family suddenly started panicking…

“Camille, I’ll love you forever!” Jameson let out a low, agonized growl. Just as he was about to climax, his phone suddenly began to buzz. He ignored it, of course. Now was hardly the time. However, his phone lit up again. The moment he saw the text on the screen, his body froze. Camille heard him answer the call. “Hello?” In the deep silence of the night, the voice on the phone cut through the stillness, clear and unmistakable. “Jameson, did you know that Sylvia—” Jameson switched languages and cut in with a sharp command, “Keep it down. It's not a good time.” The other person switched languages too, though he was still loud. “The hospital results came in. Sylvia is in the final stages of cancer. She only has a month left! Her last wish is to become your wife. Can you grant her that before she passes?” Jameson’s expression changed immediately. “What?! Wait for me!” He ended the call and turned to Camille. “Camille, something urgent came up. I need to step out for a bit. Be good and stay home. I’ll be back after you’ve had some sleep.” Before she could respond, he rose to wash up, changed his clothes, and left without looking back. Moments later, her phone buzzed. Sylvia: [Camille, you lost. I told you—Jameson has always been mine.] Right above it was a message from three days ago: [If I tell him I have cancer, do you think Jameson will leave you and come to me? I bet he will.] Camille’s gaze slowly shifted from her phone screen to the open bedroom door. What Jameson did not know was that she had already picked up a new language. She understood every word of that call. After a long moment, a faint, bitter smile appeared on her face. “Yeah, I lost...”

Seventeen year old Quinn Jackson runs away after being told by her father she's the mate of future Alpha Xavier of a neighbouring pack. With the help of her brother, who doesn't believe this, she runs away, but she's soon found by another Alpha who she starts to fall for, who also says he's her mate. Will she run again, or will Xavier find her before she finds out the truth.

Emma is living every fangirl's dream: her new CEO is her celebrity crush, and she'll be working with her favourite K-pop idols as a designer. Her new CEO, Park Hyun Bin, is a former K-pop idol with a controversial past and now founder of an entertainment company. Emma ends up in his bed, and what was meant to be a one night stand turns into more. But as a long-term fangirl, Emma knows fooling around with a popular ex-idol could spell doom for her if the fandoms and media catch wind of what's going on. Will the unexpected feelings that bloom between them survive when scandal after scandal—and furious fans and antis alike —threaten to tear them apart?

Moana Queens has two rules: stay on top, and never become my mother. I'm the most brilliant girl in school, a cheerleader with a sharp tongue and sharper ambition. I've spent my whole life watching my mother fall for the wrong men who fuck and leave. I refuse to be that girl. But then there's Dylan Dickson. He's arrogant, cocky and a fucking playboy who doesn't screw the same girl twice. He's also my academic rival, infuriatingly brilliant, and so goddamn sexy I can barely think straight when he's near. I hate everything he represents. I want him with a hunger that keeps me awake at night. And that terrifies me. Then fate delivers the cruelest blow: Dylan is my new stepbrother. Now we're living under the same roof, and the air between us is electric. I catch him shirtless, water dripping down that perfect body. He watches me like he wants to devour me, his voice a dark promise when he warns, "Don't start what you can't finish." Every accidental touch burns. Every heated glance makes me ache. I wouldn't do anything to sabotage my mother's relationship, seeing her finally happy and stable. Dylan doesn't believe in love, his mother's betrayal destroyed that years ago and he doesn't do commitment. But denying what's between us is torture. The want is primal…. The need is consuming…. And fighting it is slowly tearing me apart. One taste and I'll be ruined One touch and there's no coming back, The stakes have never been higher, but how much longer can I pretend I don't want to fuck him senseless.

“I'm not just the vampire king of tales, Ellie. I'm a talented artist.” Vanchure said with every stroke he made on the canvas with his paintbrush. “So you can either be the one posing on my couch, behind the canvas, or be the one whose blood I will use in replacement for paints.” In a mystical world named Shirlon, there was a division of two powerful mythical creatures, two great kingdoms, with two great rulers. Speaking of which were the Black Pack, the werewolves, and the Thorx Coven, the vampire with the respect of law and order. These two kingdoms had a ball of symbiosis where they worked hand in hand to maintain their stable world. The werewolves were considered as the soldiers, the ones left to do the tough and dirty jobs within both kingdoms. While the soldiers had the day and night to themselves, the vampire blossomed in the dark. The vampires were also known as Royalties. They've been known to have ancient riches, making them superior to the soldiers. In these two kingdoms, they had their kings. Eamonn, Alpha of Black Pack, and Vanchure, king of Thorx Coven. They had maintained the order of peace and had always set their boundaries between each other until Ellie came along. Ellie was born of the soldiers, just a commoner that the Alpha of her Pack proclaimed as a mate. Ellie was set on a path to rescue her missing sister from the hands of the vampire king, Vanchure. But on her first encounter with that handsome devil, her whole life takes a different turn.