Ridiculously Funny Quotes Novels & Stories

One night, as I was making my way to the bathroom around 3 a.m., I saw my dormmate, Yvonne, squatting in front of our door. She was rearranging all our shoes so that their tips were pointed inward. I thought it was funny, so I rearranged them to have their tips pointed outward. The next day, I found that all of them had been positioned inward again. This kept happening for a week, and I continued to scramble things up, hiding the shoes, even, or tying the shoelaces together. But they always ended up being repositioned neatly inward. I started observing my dormmate and found her mumbling to the shoes while squatting at the door. I ranted about it online, only to have my first reply send chills down my spine. [Do you also get the weird feeling that something paranormal is happening around you? You have to move out before it’s too late!]

Aiden Hale tends to deceased souls in a funeral home, amidst quietness, darkness, and lingering spirits’ whispers. To everyone else, he is merely quiet and aloof, but to some, he holds a lethal secret: he sees spirits. The restless spirits beckon to him, calling for peace, confession, and sometimes vengeance. But recently, there has been something else haunting him. A living person. A masked stalker has been trailing Aiden. This stalker has been leaving Aiden roses and messages, which are sweet and frightening all at once – always with the presence right behind. And suddenly the stalker’s victims begin to appear in the body bags Aiden prepares every day, further muddying the distinction between the living and the dead. And then there's the stepbrother, Ezra Grayson. Charming. Brilliant. And ridiculously overprotective. He's always on hand when Aiden needs him—perhaps a little bit too much. His eyes linger on his face for a fraction of a second too long. The softness of his voice is just a fraction too soft. The smile that stays on his lips for a fraction of a second longer. The more Aiden fights to get out from under the stranger's mask, Until the truth bursts open like a coffin lid. The stalker and his half-brother are the same individual, a male who will kill anyone who dares to threaten Aiden, resulting in a trail of angry spirits and a love plagued by obsession. Aiden finds himself poised between saving Ezra’s soul or being overwhelmed by the darkness that holds not only him but the stalker. Because it is inasmuch as love, being born from sin, that it dies not in silence

I'm Alpha Kaelen's fated mate. It took him ninety-nine tries to win me over, and every wolf in the pack knows he loves me more than life itself. But after we were mated, he started breaking his promises. My birthday, our anniversary... he always had an excuse. "Sorry, baby, an important ally is visiting. I have to be there." "Honey, there's trouble on the border. I have to handle it. You'll have to spend your birthday alone." Every time he bailed, he'd give me a ridiculously expensive house to make up for it. So, even though I was disappointed, I still believed he loved me. Until the day he gave me the ninety-ninth house. That's when I got the photo from his ex-girlfriend, Eileen. In the picture, Kaelen was asleep beside her, completely unguarded. "Did he tell you he had pack business last night? The truth is, I told him I wasn't feeling well, and he came running. ;)" So all ninety-nine times before... it was always her. My heart shattered. This time, I was the one to hand over the papers. The one-hundredth property transfer. And tucked inside, I'd added something a little extra: our bond dissolution papers. Kaelen didn't even look. He signed it without a second thought. And in one month, on the night of the full moon, our bond would officially be broken.

Charlotte Winston is an omega who gets abused by her pack members. She is twenty years old and still hasn't heard from her wolf. She thinks she's wolfless that is until one rainy day. Damon Massimo still hasn't found his mate until a visit to Charlotte's pack changed that but he doesn't want an omega as his Luna. "Just say you reject me," I told him ignoring the lump in my throat. I can't cry not in front of Damon. He looks at me with a sadistic smirk, he traps me in between his arms and whispers, "Who said I was going to reject you Cara?" he asked with venom in his voice, "No, I'm not going to reject you but I'm going to show the moon Goddes that if she thinks it's funny to give me an omega as my Luna she's playing a prank on the wrong Alpha," he finished looking at me with disgust.

“She is mine!” Alpha Casper roared, yanking me toward him, his eyes blazing a dangerous shade of red. “Let her go, you filthy mutt and I might let you live.” Alpha Jake only pulled me closer, his lips curling into a dark smirk. “Funny,” he growled, “I was about to say the same thing to you.” The room trembled with their growls, two powerful Alphas locked in a deadly stare, both refusing to back down. But just when I thought it couldn’t get worse, the doors burst open and another Alpha stepped in. His eyes landed on me, and his voice rumbled with possessive fury. “Mate!” … Kamari had just turned eighteen, the age every wolf dreams of, when she can finally shift and embrace her destiny. But the Moon Goddess had other plans. Instead of one fated mate… she was given three. Three powerful Alphas, each bound to her by destiny, torn apart by rivalry, and willing to destroy the world just to claim her heart.

Would you rather live apart… or die together? She survives a plane crash and wakes up in a hidden village with rules stranger than death itself. Here, men and women who are not married cannot be seen together. The punishment? Public beheading. But when she meets Yoké, the mysterious, magnetic villager who makes her heart race, one rule becomes impossible to obey. Every stolen glance is a risk. Every touch is a death sentence. And yet, she cannot stay away. ★Prequel to Till Death Do Us Part

19 year old Waverly never knew her father, she had never even known his last name since she had been the product of a one night stand. Her mom never saw the guy again after their one heated night together. At age 12 she & her mother settled down in the peaceful town of Mansterville and had lived there for the past seven years. Sure the place could get a bit boring at times but the beauty of it all was worth a tad of boredom here & there. All that is about to change when the huge moving trucks suddenly come rolling down the private drive to the large mansion across the road that had remained vacant the entire time they'd lived here. Waverly & Shay had always assumed the old manor had been condemned for one reason or another, however their assumptions are proven wrong when three gorgeous brothers suddenly pop up out of the blue one fall day and move into the home. These three will definently shake things up and bring more excitement than these two stunning ladies have ever experienced. The new neighbors may also bring out a side of Waverly she never knew existed, along with a fair amount of chaos with their sudden arrival. So...Come on folks lets all go visit the little town of Mansterville and watch as this wild adventure unfolds.

Olivia Parker, after she was forced on by an unknown man at the hospital where her sick father was just proclaimed dead, finds herself pregnant a month later. Left with no other choice than to keep the pregnancy, she drops out of school at the age of 18. Six years later.. Olivia's son grew up to be the exact replica of her new boss.. Damien Sterling! "Who is his father?!" His voice echoed multiple times into her ears. "I don't have one, talk to my mummy with respect!"

The story of a budding romance in the '80s through the eyes of precocious but clueless16-year old Nia. She's a petite, fair, fiercely loyal,and talented high schooler. Overshadowed by a popular sister, she finds joy in her merry circle of friends. As the New Girl in school, she's often misunderstood and finds herself in trouble because of her flirtatious friend. Cute and popular best bud Lance would always come to her rescue. Take a trip down memory lane as we see her grow up in the 80s, going through life's ups and downs, fun exploits, bittersweet love, betrayal, growing up, and moving on...Will she finally meet the one destined for her? Or was he the one who got away?

"Gosh! Adam look!" Jenna shouted, trembling at the test pack in her hand. Adam dashed into the bathroom and grabbed the test pack that was in Jenna's hand. He was immediately stunned. "We're dead!" One year ago Adam and Jenna, who were both threatened with an arranged marriage by their parents, agreed to have a contract marriage when they accidentally met in Europe. 30-year-old Adam, who is a candidate for President Director of a leading property company, is threatened with losing his position if he doesn't get married. And 28-year-old Jenna, who is a freelance writer, is also threatened with being married off to an old businessman because of her father's debt that they can't pay. How will the fake marriage without the love continue? Will it have a happy ending? Or will each of them find love outside of their married life?