Novel & Cerita Sadness X Embarrassment

I exhale slowly, then reach for paper towels, grabbing more than necessary. I start cleaning myself. It’s not graceful or quick. Because if I rush, I’ll think. And if I think, I might spiral. And if I spiral, I might actually cry. And I refuse to. “This is so embarrassing,” I mutter under my breath. But even as I say it…Something in me pushes back. It’s disgusting. Yes. Annoying. Yes. Infuriating. Absolutely. But embarrassing? That would mean I did something wrong. And I didn’t.

"You know Ren with how you've presented yourself one would never think you've gone through any of this. You stopped yourself from crying multiple times, you know it's okay to express those emotions," "I know, I just feel embarassed. I guess my mom's disappearance and Dad's mental descent made me feel that I had to keep everything inside because then if I broke down then that would mean everything really was shit. A big, smelly, pile of fly infested dog shit which is my life and at least I have you to sit in this dog shit with. Will you Alex Crawford sit in this fly-infested pile of dog shit that is my life with me?" I joked.

All I know is that my heart is heavy and hurts right now, and I want to bawl like a baby and not adult for five minutes. “Don’t cry. I’m an asshole. Come on, sol…. baby. You’re making me feel like an utter shithead.” Jyeon turns me in his arms, and I immediately bury my face against his chest to hide what I'm embarrassed about him seeing. Remorse swamping me for overreacting, yet I still don’t understand why it’s hitting me like this. Everything was going so well, and now, it feels all wrong.

Alex said, breaking the awkward silence. Emily leaned her head against the window and closed her eyes. "Yeah, I'm okay. Just a little embarrassed, I guess." Alex frowned. "Why would you be embarrassed?" Emily shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I just feel stupid for getting so drunk. And for being alone at the party." Alex could sense the shame and self-loathing in Emily's voice and it made his heart ache. "You don't have to feel embarrassed, Emily. We all have our moments."

Ema apologizes, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. I feel a flashlight and look at the door but no one is there. "It's absolutely fine." Then I assure her that it's alright, understanding that accidents happen. We exchange a few more pleasantries before I request her to excuse me and resume her work. Deep down, though, I can't shake off the sense of embarrassment and unease that lingers within me. I make a silent vow to admit this incident to Abigail, believing in the strength of our relationship to overcome such moments of awkwardness.

I confess, glancing away. The weight of embarrassment and overwhelming sadness and anger hangs heavy on my shoulders. I feel the heat of a tear sliding down my cheek, a physical manifestation of the turmoil that Cassius’s actions have caused. “He had no right to disrupt my party, to make a scene in front of all these strangers. Worst of all, in front of you. I’m so sorry about what happened. You didn’t deserve all this drama unfolding in front of you.”

I had never felt more embarrassed in my life. ****

“My life is such a joke. One minute I’m high from some fancy dirty texts, next I’m getting blackmailed by my fake girlfriend while my ass needs ice because the guy I actually like won’t stay the night. Someone should write a book about how dumb I am. It’d be a bestseller.” Lila just watched me, waiting for me to get dressed. I moved slowly, every step reminding me how wrecked I was, emotions all over the place horny leftover buzz, loneliness, anger, that stupid affection for Damien, and now this heavy sadness that made my throat tight. I wanted to yell or laugh or maybe both until I couldn’t breathe. But I grabbed clothes anyway. Because what else was I gonna do?

I wanted to say something, to apologize, but my throat felt tight, my voice trapped beneath the weight of my embarrassment. I lowered my head to the ground, trying to hide my face in shame. The weight of my embarrassment felt heavy on my shoulders, and I wished I could just disappear. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a pair of polished leather shoes and elegant heels stepping closer until they stopped right in front of me.

In this emotionally charged situation, Connie felt a mix of embarrassment and deep anger. As she fell, all her confidence seemed to vanish, leaving only awkwardness and frustration. She stared at the floor, unable to lift her head, as if trying to avoid the gazes of those around her. In her mind, a voice whispered. Why did Zack have to grab Emily's arm? Why did he have to get involved in this chaos? Each question only added weight to her heart. The resentment towards Zack and bewilderment at this unexpected situation pulled her deeper into despair.