Self Loving Caption

My boyfriend refuses to accompany me to the airport to pick my mother up, but he later rams into my car from behind in my new Maybach. He looks at my secondhand car and wraps an arm around the young woman beside him, who looks frightened. He says, "It's just a rusty old Volkswagen Beetle! So what if I've crashed into it? I can afford to pay for the damages!" The crowd praises him for being handsome and rich. With his back to them, he warns, "This is the woman my mom wants me to date. I'm just playing along for her sake. Don't make things embarrassing for me." I nod understandingly and tell the young woman, "Since you like collecting trash so much, you can have both him and the car. I'll have my lawyer send you the bill." Now, my boyfriend panics. He looks devastated as he hangs around outside my company all day, begging me to give him another chance.

On my son’s birthday, my husband had asked his first love to pick our son up from our home. While I stubbornly refused to let him go, a huge fire broke out in the hallway during our standoff. I was struck by falling debris, and blood started streaming from my head. However, my son was unharmed as he lay beneath me. My husband, who was a firefighter, came forward to rescue us. But he handed the only gas mask he had to his first love. “Miss Leia has a weaker constitution. Dad, please get her out first. Mom, wait for the other firefighters to save you!” I watched them leave with a faint, bitter smile. It appeared that they had both forgotten my severe asthma and the fact that I would die without a gas mask.

Sa kaarawan ng anak ko, ang asawa ko ay hiniling sa kanyang first love na sunduin ang anak namin sa bahay. Noong nagpupumilit akong tumanggi na payagan siyang umalis, nagkaroon ng malaking sunog sa hallway habang nag-aaway kami. Tinamaan ako ng mga bumabagsak na piraso ng nasusunog na kahoy, at nagsimulang tumulo ang dugo mula sa ulo ko. Pero, ang anak ko ay ligtas habang nakahiga sa ilalim ko. Ang asawa ko, na bumbero, ay iniligtas kami. Pero ang binigyan niya ang nag-iisang gas mask sa kanyang first love. “Mahina ang pangangatawan ni Miss Leia. Ama, pakiusap ilabas mo muna siya. Ma, hintayin mo na iligtas ka ng ibang mga bumbero!” Pinanood ko silang umalis habang nakangiti ako ng ng mapait. Mukhang pareho na nilang nakalimutan na may matinding asthma ako at ang katotohanang mamamatay ako dahil wala akong gas mask.

My husband’s first love and I were kidnapped at the same time. As a professional negotiator, my husband rushed to the scene as soon as possible to save us. When the kidnappers agreed to release one hostage, he chose to let them keep me to protect her. I knelt on the ground, desperately begging him to save me first, but his face was expressionless. “Tammy is still a virgin. If she’s raped, she won’t be able to handle it.” “You’re different. You’re already married to me. Even if something happens to you, I won’t hold it against you.” He shoved me toward the kidnappers. He probably didn’t know I was three months pregnant, and he was about to become a father.

This Thanksgiving, Elmer Fuller finally agrees to go on a trip with me. But when I wake up in the hotel, I don't see him anywhere. I spend the entire day desperately searching for him, only to stumble across a social media post from his first love. It's a selfie of her and Elmer having a cozy family dinner with her parents. The caption reads, "Someone's finally meeting the parents on Thanksgiving night. Mom and Dad can stop pressuring me to get married now!" Around her neck is the scarf my mother knitted for me before she passed. I left a comment. "Stop using my things to flirt with my husband. Take the scarf off—you can have him." Not long after, she posts an update. The scarf is shredded into pieces and tossed into a dog bed, with the caption, "What trash—too filthy even for a dog!" Elmer likes the post.

I went abroad for a year to further my studies and kept in touch with my girlfriend through video calls every day. One day, I saw her first love posted a photo with a caption: [We are finally back together after ten years!] In the photo, my girlfriend was visibly pregnant, holding the arm of the man next to her with a sweet smile.

Taken in as a son-in-law, he led a miserable life. The moment he gained power, both his mother-in-law and sister-in-law kneeled down in front of him.His mother-in-law begged him, “Please don’t leave my daughter.”His sister-in-law said, “Brother-in-law, I was wrong…”

After five years of marriage, my wife’s childhood friend posted a photo of a property deed in his social media circle with the caption, [Thank you, Miss CEO, for transferring the house to me.] I was stunned when I saw the address on the deed—it was my home. Confused, I left a comment. [?] Almost immediately, my wife, Alice, called and scolded me. "He’s a single dad, so pitiful! I only transferred the house to his name to make it easier for his daughter to attend school. It doesn’t affect us living there. How can you be so heartless and lack even a shred of compassion?" In the background, I could hear her childhood friend complaining bitterly. Half an hour later, he posted on social media again and tagged me. This time, he showed off a $150,000 sports car with the caption, [Paid in full! As the saying goes, where a woman spends her money is where her heart lies.] I knew it was my wife who bought him the car to make up for upsetting him. But this time, I’ve made up my mind—I’m filing for divorce.

I had just gotten hospitalization prior to my operation when my wife told me she was going on an urgent business trip, leaving me and our one-year-old daughter behind. Two days later, her childhood sweetheart proudly posted a family photo on social media with a caption that said: “Took a picture of our happy family of three on our trip!” I looked at my wife who was smiling tenderly in the picture and commented, “?” My wife immediately called and berated me, “He's a single father who doesn’t have a wife to help take care of his child! All I did was take a picture with them, what are you being so defensive about?” That same evening, her childhood sweetheart posted a picture of a million-dollar dowry given to him with the caption: “After we took the picture, she insisted on giving me this as a dowry.” I knew my wife gave it to him to appease him. But this time, I was going to leave her for good.

By month four of my IVF treatments, my husband's childhood sweetheart posted a picture of herself cradling her baby bump. The caption? [Having a happy ending with my first love. A family of three.] And there he was—his hand in the shot, making a cutesy heart with hers. Oh, and the cherry on top? He was still wearing his wedding ring.