seriously funny jokes

EMILIANA                  It was supposed to be a simple wedding. Marry the old fucker then while he's busy trying to get in my pants, stick a knife in his throat. And if anyone asks... I'm pretty sure I would have come up with something believable. I mean, how hard is it for someone his age to have a heart attack or trip and fall onto a knife. Right? But then in the middle of the wedding, this hot guy shows up in a bloody Armani suit, like covered in blood from head to toe, kills the man I'm supposed to marry and takes his place. What the fuck? Seriously, What the actual fuck? TROPES; Arranged marriage, forced proximity, he falls first, crazy FL, your daily amount of steam and HEA.

Fate can be a funny thing. One minute, you are the beloved daughter of a powerful alpha, and the next, you're nothing more than a tool used to join forces with another strong pack. And if you don't go along with what is expected of you, the one who is using you for personal gain will make your life a living hell and destroy anything that is precious to you.Because of this, Denali Ozera finds herself married to the cold and ruthless Rosco Torres, alpha of the Crystal Fang pack and enemy not only to her, but her entire family. But by some weird twist of fate, Rosco isn't what others say he is, and he is even willing to help Denali get back everything that was meant to be hers.Together, Denali and Rosco devise a plan to destroy Denali's father and her stepmother and sister. All Rosco asks for in return is Denali's mind, body, and soul.

Cesari Islan Sandoval is a drop dead gorgeous multi billionaire playboy who can get any lady he wants at the snap of his fingers but doesn't do relationships until he meets Elyon Devane a single mom who is in need of a job. He feels drawn to her which is something that has never happened to him before so without thinking he gives her the job as his personal assistant thinking he could seduce her into sleeping with him but she turns out to be a hard nut to crack. He falls in love with her five years old daughter and though he doesn't consider himself a daddy material,he finds himself wishing he is her daughter's father. Funny enough he finds out that he is indeed her daughter's father which causes him to have a rethink much to the chagrin of his lover Antoinette Montalvo.

Jade Parker is an average girl from Tennessee who is head over heels for Chris Bellamy AKA Mr honey brown eyes. Suddenly, he takes interest in her and they begin to date, but Jade finds out about a secret that shatters their relationship. In order to be happy again, she gets a rebound that takes a very drastic turn. After finally finding true love, she is faced with another problem-A stalker.

She is the daughter of an exiled maid. He is the heir of a wealthy leader. She is shunned by her rank. He is praised for it. She's the Omega. He's the future Alpha. Ava Rose and Jace Weston. Two opposites bounded by destiny. On his 20th birthday, Jace Weston reaches the day every Wolf eagerly awaits; today he would finally meet his mate, the one true soul chosen by the Moon Goddess to bond with him for eternity. But what if his true love, his mate isn't entirely what he hoped for?

Olivia Parker, after she was forced on by an unknown man at the hospital where her sick father was just proclaimed dead, finds herself pregnant a month later. Left with no other choice than to keep the pregnancy, she drops out of school at the age of 18. Six years later.. Olivia's son grew up to be the exact replica of her new boss.. Damien Sterling! "Who is his father?!" His voice echoed multiple times into her ears. "I don't have one, talk to my mummy with respect!"

Rosalie sister Rebecca is getting married and her fiancé Ben comes from a very wealthy family. His brother Julius is a billionaire bad boy and his best man. When he meets the maid of honor (Rosalie) sparks fly. Her quick wit, raw talent for the cello, and captivating beauty leaves him wanting to leave his rambling ways behind forever but she wants no part in being with a play boy. She isn’t impressed with fame and fortune and she’s nothing like the women he’s use to. Planning the wedding of the century and celebrating each moment leaves Rosalie and Julius falling into each others arms-but can he keep her there? This romantic comedy will leave your heart racing with wild passion and laughing along the way.

Max was famous for his hardcore attitude and being able to run a mutli billion company.. Max was known for different women every night… Until he meet Asia.. Asia would not give him the time of day.. Can Max win Asia heart?

Nate Wilson is a hot guy who is every girl's wet dream. In an attempt to get over his best friend who is married, he takes an impulsive decision. Samantha Perez is a fiesty and confident young woman who lives the perfect life. She breaks her rule for one night, letting herself go loose but is she really as wild as she seems between the sheets? One crazy night of pleasure brings these two people together but little did they know that they weren't going to be just strangers after all. Read to find out what life has in store for these two imperfect souls.

In the day, Evelyn Jefferson is Warren Larkin's elegant and capable executive secretary. At night, she's his alluring bedfellow.After three years of such an arrangement, she thinks he loves her. But when she proposes to him, he says, "It's just a game—we fuck, not make love. Did you really think I'd take you seriously?"She loses hope in him and leaves without another word. From that day on, her life is transformed, and her career skyrockets. She becomes a renowned lawyer that no one in the industry dares offend. Countless suitors swarm her.He regrets his decision and pins her to the wall, his eyes bloodshot. "I'm yours in heart, mind, and soul. Will you marry me, please?"She smiles seductively. "Sorry, but you're standing in the way of my Mr. Right."