Smartass Funny Quotes Novels & Stories

Herbie was subconsciously self-sabotaging his relationship with every famous, beautiful, successful girl he's been with. When the relationship seemed to be going well, he'd find one little detail that would be enough reason to break-up. It could be that she's too clingy or too busy, to the trivial ones like having long fingernails or having eyes that are too big or too small. That's because in that tiny little space in his heart he kept a secret. He's got this huge crush on his next-door neighbor for what seems like forever. For ten years they were neighbors, for ten years he was content just stealing glances. Not that he didn't know her. She's his ex-girlfriend's sister! On their tenth year as neighbors, he got elected as President and CEO of a multinational corporation at only 36 years old. He didn't want to move apartments but duty called.

SIX-PACK SERIES BOOK THREE *While this book can be read as a standalone, I'd highly recommend reading books one (Alpha Gray) and two (Alpha Theo) for context before this book* JAX : I'm no stranger to one night stands. Lots of girls want a hook-up with an alpha, so why should this one be any different? Maybe it's because she's the best I ever had. Maybe it's because she refused to tell me anything about herself. We agreed to one night, no strings attached. The problem is, I can't get that night out of my head; I've been obsessed with finding this girl since. When she shows up at the squad complex for training, I feel like it's my lucky day- until my best friend introduces her as his sister and things get... complicated. I can't go against bro code, right? Even if Quinn is my dream girl. Even if there's a crazy attraction between us that's harder to resist every day. I'm so screwed.  ~ QUINN : One night. It was supposed to be one night of anonymous, meaningless with a stranger. I just wanted to have a good time and forget about my cheating ex. It definitely did the trick- I haven't thought about my ex since, but now I can't stop thinking about that night or the sexy stranger who had all the right moves. When I arrive at the complex for a fresh start, I'm shocked to see him again- and even more surprised to find out that he's not only an alpha, but also one of my brother's best friends. Theo would Jax if he found out about that night. He can never know- which means I have to keep my distance. Even if I can't stop fantasizing about Jax. Even if it kills me.

Tough, self-willed, silly and not so awkward. Audrey is a young college student is determined to pass through college with good grades. No drama, no complications. With her best friends in the same college, she couldn't have been more happier. It was like having her safe circle around. Everything was going according to plan till Pretty boy, basketballer, Enzo Santana walks in. He's bold, effortlessly cool, Handsome to the core, with a panty dropping smile and a voice that could make any lady wet without having to try. Now here's the deal, he wants her to tutor him and she doesn't want any boy drama. How long will she be able to resist his charms and act oblivious to him. Because there's one thing about Enzo, what he wants, he gets. And as for her, it will be a cold day in hell before she gets her heart broken. If you love humor, sarcasm, romance, friendship and eternal war against goofiness, then this is definitely the book for you.

A security guard caught a snake in our apartment complex and delivered it straight to my door. I was just about to scream when floating comments cut in. [The male lead got dumped and turned back into his real form just to spy on his girlfriend, and he actually got caught? This is funny as hell!] [He got dumped, and his girlfriend hates him. He's probably gonna cry himself to sleep!] [Aww, poor little snake can't curl up on his girlfriend tonight.] The big black snake looked pitiful in the guard's hands. It secretly sized me up with its slit pupils. I tried holding out my hand, and the black snake stared in disbelief. Two seconds later, it obediently rubbed its head against my fingers.

How can a young, cute man have bad intentions? He just wants to "warm your bed". Open it and experience a whirlwind romance. “I Slept With My Ex-boyfriend's Uncle” When I was drunk, I went to see my ex-boyfriend and tried to get back with him. But when I woke up, I found his uncle lying beside me. “A Brave Jump to My Crush” A love story between an aloof Prince Charming and a funny underachieving girl。 I had been in love with him for many years, and I finally went after him. On the night of our classmate reunion, I pretended to be drunk. I took his clothes off and tried to sleep with him. But I regretted it halfway through.

Two months into my cold war with Sean, the lover he’d been keeping finally danced her way right up to me, the real deal. Everyone expected me to react the same way I always had before, kicking up a huge scene to stake my claim. Instead, I looked at the intimate photos of Sean and her in the group chat, smiled, and sent them my blessing. [Looking good. Wishing you two a long and happy life.] The chat went dead silent. Sean must’ve sobered up from his little paradise because in the middle of the night, he drove home and pounded on my door. He was furious. “Do you think this is funny?” However, I only met his gaze calmly. “Honestly, after all these years, none of it is.”

Readers said. 'Very funny, I needed cold showers! I dropped my tablet in the bath! Totally original. Outrageous. The goddesses thread is totally original.' Goddesses - is this what 50 Shades should have been about? Connie Grimshaw, is now a successful businesswoman in an international consultancy. She reached these dizzy heights by believing her mother - work hard and reject emotional needs. On a business trip, the dam bursts and her libido refuses to be silenced. Her PA (Dee) helps her reconcile her lascivious feelings by using a series of parables from ancient goddesses. This works until the goddesses land her in hilarious, embarrassing and sometimes, dangerous situations as she develops the vamp in herself. But there are forces at work, which try to mismanage her feelings. Can she defeat the bad boys? Firstly, she has to deal with Greg, the evil misogynist.

“You have to choose between death or becoming my slave. Either I give you a death sentence now, or your life becomes enslaved. I have given you the liberty to choose.”  On the night of her 18th birthday, the time came for princess Alexa of the Blue Scorpion pack to meet her mate. This particular moment was everything she’d hoped for, but in the end, what happened was not what she'd expected. She found her mate, alpha Logan of the Red Lotus pack, the youngest, most charming and most desired alpha in all the realm, also happens to be her enemy. That night, Logan was bent on achieving his revenge against Danister, the Blue Scorpion alpha. He wasn’t going to let anyone get in the way, not even Alexa. That same night unlocked a new life for Alexa, not only was her pack taken into captivity but she, the high-held princess, was also taken into slavery at the hands of her mate. For the trauma her father caused him in the past, Logan plans to do so many things to Alexa. He wants to hurt her, to make her pay for all his suffering, he wants to make life as miserable as possible for her, till the point she begs for death. Now, there’s only one problem standing in the way of his plans; the mate bond they share won’t let him. Instead, it draws him closer to her; it makes him yearn for her in the most unimaginable ways. Find out where this love story between Alexa and Logan will lead in The Alpha's Hated Slave Mate. Book 1 of the werewolf mate series Book 2- The Beta's Unexpected Mate For updates on character reveals and quotes, including all my books, follow my Facebook page, Eyitee's library.

Due to her manly name, Ryan, a 23-year-old woman, was forced to live in the same house with five billionaires - Terban, Kyle, Chaylen, Slyvester, and Vincent. She thought everything will go smoothly if she stays away from these men who always fight each other. Until one day, the handsome men started to act weirdly around Ryan. Will she be able to survive in the house with five hot guys who stare at her as if she's a lamb in the den of the Wolves?

Deception, indecision,envy, love take the order of the day as Davina Othis, a human girl who is hated and not wanted by her family gets transported to an alternate universe by a witch. In this universe, she finds out that human beings are given abilities to shape shift into wolves and more importantly, herself in alternate universe,is Alexis (her doppelganger) the alpha, Calvin Sanchez's mate and Alexis is missing. Frail hearted and desperate to stay alive in a world of animals, she plays the part of Alexis, the Alpha's real mate with the help of the alpha's aide and trusted friend Dante. Dante protects her from the werewolves and teaches her how to act like Alexis and they both deceive Calvin, the Alpha. But what will happen when the conspiracy between Raymond Sanchez, Calvin's elder brother and the Beta wolf and Amber the alpha's ex girlfriend is revealed and Alexis is actually dead not missing. Will Dante be able to protect Davina as Raymond and Amber try to kill her? What will happen when Calvin, finds out that his mate is not only an impostor but also a human being unable to shape shift into a wolf? And what will unfold as Dante begins to fall deeply in love with Davina, the alpha's mate. Will he go against the alpha? And also, what will happen to Calvin, the Alpha as his elder brother Raymond, the beta leads a pack of rogue wolves and tries to become the alpha? Read Fated To More Than One Alpha to find out.