Smile Inside Crying Outside Novels & Stories

Damian~ I stood outside the hospital ward with my hands buried deep inside my pockets. The glass panel on the door gave me a clear view of everything happening inside. And somehow... That made things worse. Carla was smiling. Actually smiling. Not the strained kind she sometimes forced whenever she was overwhelmed. No. This one was genuine. Bright. Warm. Alive. The kind of smile that transformed her entire face. The kind of smile that made people forget she'd spent the last twenty-four hours in a nightmare.

But we didn't know that there is still someone who treats love seriously, there's still someone who can be contented, that there's still someone that can change for you and can make you feel your worth and value. Sometimes, we thought that there is someone that doesn't even experience problems in this world. Because all they know is just to laugh, smile, and be happy. But we didn't know that behind those smiles, there's pain that's hidden behind. Like JC. He's a happy person. But as they said, we smile not only because we are happy, sometimes we smile because that's the only way for us to hide the pain we feel. That even we have problems, we can still afford to make someone smile and happy.

The four members looked happy together with those genuine smiles plastered on their faces. I touch on the surface right to the kid who I think is Airo. He can smile. I remove my hand and look at the next picture. The two look grown a bit but their mother is not there anymore. I couldn’t see the same smile they had from the first photo. They are indeed smiling here, but not that bright. The next pictures are two young men who lost their smiles growing up together. “Ciana, I brought you your drink.” I move my head to his direction and suddenly feel a little pain in me. This man is hiding a lot of things in him. All by himself.

“You put life in here. In this grave of a heart.” “I can’t see you with other women. It hurts, it hurts physically when I see you smile at them. I don’t want to be like this because I know you’ll have to interact with women in life at every corner…” “And I want you to remember that in my eyes they are all potatoes if they are not you!” I was ugly, crying and laughing at the same time. “Oh, my god!” I held my stomach laughing. “What? What the hell!” He hugged me, but I couldn’t stop laughing.

Harmony POV. Going back to the party, I put on a happy face, no matter the turmoil inside of me or the uneasy feeling in my stomach. Today is about the children and the survivors of domestic violence. I smile like nothing is wrong and Mav is watching me closely. He is just staring at me in disbelief that one second I’m shaking and crying, the next I’m laughing and smiling like nothing happened.

The only people who questioned my look was the people who watched the tears fall in that dressing room but I couldn't look them in their eyes. The rest of the place believed me, they believed I was as happy as could be, they believed that my happiness was with the man that wanted to control my every move. I looked at those people and saw their true belief and realised that this is how people do it. This is how people go through life going through trauma day in and day out without a shadow of a doubt from the outside world. Because as long as you smiled, fake or real, people would believe the happiness on your face rather than the sadness behind your eyes.

Then suddenly, her lips parted. “That’s not a real smile.” The words caught me off guard. I let out a bitter laugh. “Aha! See? You noticed. That’s because I’m terrible at it.” I stretched my mouth into a grin so forced it probably looked more painful than her wounds. “There, that’s my smile. Makes children cry and women run for the hills. Pathetic, right?” I expected her to flinch or turn away, but she only stared. And goddess help me… I felt it. That itching pit of loneliness twisting inside me, mocking me for daring to joke about it.

I took a deep breath and faced him but I couldn’t speak. He’s looking at me smiling like a lunatic and I don’t know why. I hit him in the arm and he just laughed at me. Why is he so mean? Here I am crying in front of him but he’s just grinning like a dog who got treats right there. “Why are you smiling like a lunatic?” I asked as I raised my brow. He continued chuckling and said, “It’s just that, you look… unpretty when crying.”

I broke down in emotion, crying so pitifully that a severely injured person like Brian had to coax me back. "Crying is ugly, smiling... it's better to cry...." Brian said while frowning; every word he uttered seemed like he wanted to take his life. I put my finger on Brian's lips, stopping him from continuing. For his peace of mind, I also tried not to cry; I forced a wry smile. My face must be terrible, but Brian looks at me gently.