She Wouldn't Do "It"
My wife, Lindsey Kelsey, suffers from an aversion to intimacy. For ten years of marriage, she pushed me away again and again.
Then, on our anniversary, she abandoned me and, in front of the crowd, kissed another man with reckless passion before the two of them walked hand in hand into a luxury hotel.
Afterward, Lindsey brazenly declared that a real man should be magnanimous, not petty.
Magnanimous?
Then I wish them both eternal bliss—may they be bound so tightly they can never break free from one another.
Later, I handed Lindsey the divorce papers with a blank expression. I was determined to walk away from her.
But Lindsey went mad when she realized she couldn't find me anymore.