Stupid Knock Knock Jokes

“Paige Miller. Stay here for a bit.” He said when my foot was already out the door. I swallowed hard and looked at Darla who just shrugged and closed the door. I was alone with the hot Callan Montgomery Holden. “So, Paige. I thought you were a bartender.” “And I thought you were just a rich asshole kissing girls all day. Never would've peg you for a CEO, boss.” “Hmm. You're funny. I like you.” “Please don't.” I said and he chuckled again. He bit his lower lip, and I could feel myself wanting to hump him right there on his swiveling chair. “You're thinking the same thing I am, right?” “That I should report you to HR for sexual harassment?” “Ha! Good one. But no. I know you want me too. Right here right now. I can feel you getting hot and wet.” “From the way you kissed me, last night? Sorry, but no. Besides, I'm married.” I lied. I realized I was being stupid and reckless when I remembered it was very specific in the job listing that I had to be single with no kids. “Okay, look. I'm not married, but I'm not interested either. I can't afford to be your next plaything. I need this job to save enough money to start my own small business and not work for anyone ever again. So, please. I know you're probably a great guy, but I'm just not interested. So, if there's nothing else you need professionally, good day, Mr. Holden.” “Sure. But they always say that at first. You'll come around.” If I didn’t have a daughter to think of, I'd have made you come in my mouth already you rich spoiled brat!" I wanted to say, but of course absolutely couldn't.

Things should have been easier for Zane Lardizabal, Bastardos' leader, if only he wasn't too drunk and stupid to fall for a one-night stand. Ang alas niya para i-blackmail ang presidente ng isang prominente na media company ay nawala nang nakawin ng babae na nakasama niya ang jacket niya at ipalit ang sirang underwear nito. And he is dead set in finding her and reclaiming what is his. Ang problema? Dala ng sobra na kalasingan ay wala siyang rekoleksyon sa babae na iyon. Months after her one-night stand, Serenity Enriquez, then vows to fix her life and be serious with a man for once. She tries to forget everything about that night, mabuti na lamang at sa sobrang kalasingan niya ay wala siyang rekoleksyon sa lalaki na nakasama niya. At sa pagbabago na nais niya ay magtatagpo ang landas nila ni Axel Salvacion, ang bagong empleyado sa kumpanya nila. She wants him, and she will make him hers. Ang problema? Ayaw sa kan'ya ni Axel at inis na inis sa kan'ya ang lalaki. But in the twisted turn of events, fate will help Zane find Serenity to take back what is his. And in a flick of a finger, Serenity will get what she wants the most, Axel. But things got more complicated after that. Sa magulong sitwasyon nila, mabubunyag kay Serenity ang tunay na katauhan ng taong hinahabol niya. Zane is Axel on a mafia mission against Serenity's father. And as twisted as it sounds, the hidden mafia's heart has been stolen by Serenity in the process. Pero ang pagmamahal ni Serenity ay napalitan nang galit at takot sa tunay na katauhan ng lalaki na mahal niya. Will Serenity still have a chance to run away and reclaim her serene life after being entangled with the hidden mafia?

The darkness in his eyes, the dangerous smell of in his breath, and his deathly grip keeping me bound to him made my heart pound in my chest and my body quiver beneath him. Shamefully, it wasn't anything that I wasn't used to, because…the things I let him do to me? When he was frustrated, annoyed, and angry at the world, I was here to be his pound of flesh. In return, he masked the void of my loneliness because for months, that was the transaction of our relationship. He'd pin me to the wall, bend me over the counter, pull my hair, slap me, choke me, and I enjoyed every second of it because in that moment, it finally felt good to be powerless. Irony is a funny thing. I enjoyed being in pain because it made me forget how much I was hurting. *** "I warned you, doll." His voice strikes a string of chills down the base of my spine, a reminder that all of the time in the world could pass, and he's still not letting go. This is where the good girl in me dies. "You're mine now," he whispers. *** My name is Mercy—Mercy Carter. I went to college. Got myself a useless Bachelor of Science in Mathematics degree. His name is Marcel—Marcello Saldívar. However, at the time, I didn't know that he, the heir to the Saldívar Mafia empire, was the man that I had blindly offered myself to. As smart as I am, I was stupid all the times when it actually mattered. After all, he did warn me he was dangerous. I just didn't think he could be much worse than my thug brother. I was vulnerable—naive. I belong to him. My name is Mercy, and I am the Mafia's Mercy.

Weeks before Ariana goes to uni, she has to move in with Dax, her brother's best friend who walked right out from her wet dreams. The wild night between them was never supposed to have happened, especially when he broke her heart right after. After she left for uni, she promised herself to completely forget Dax— unfortunately, she ends up taking a part of Dax along with her, one which she swore to keep hidden from everyone. Four years later, she has moved on—- or so she thought, and is now in a healthy relationship, but after she almost lost her life from an unexpected attack, she is forced by her brother to move in with him once again for protection. Ariana doesn’t want Dax to come into her life again cause she knows he’d undoubtedly leave it shattered once again, but isn’t left with any choice. Dax never stopped thinking about Ariana, even though he’s now engaged to a beautiful woman. He knows he’s supposed to stay away and not blur lines this time. Too bad he just couldn’t, and worst, he doesn’t want a mere taste this time, he wants to claim every inch of her: body, mind and soul. Even though the baggage he carries is enough to bury her underground, he’ll protect her from it and kill anyone who dares to lay a hand on her. But Ari can’t let Dax into her life again, she’ll be stupid to, especially because she has a secret she has been hiding this whole time, not just from him, but from her older brother as well… one that looks just like Dax, which must remain a secret forever.

Kang Jae Woon is the youngest prosecutor in his department. With his handsome appearance, outstanding achievement, and powerful family background, he is being admired and envied at the same time by many people. One day, his best friend, Han Ryan is murdered by a serial killer and Jae Woon felt his world is crumbling down. Due to his excessive sadness, Jae Woon drowns himself in alcohol at his house, alone. He drunk and snacking food until his body suddenly convulsed in an allergic reaction. "Shit! Who the fuck put almonds in my snack?! I clearly remind the salesgirl to not put any almond in my baggage! Damn it! Where is my medicine?!" As he's groping around in agony, searching for his precious medicine, Jae Woon felt his body plopped on the bed as his consciousness faded and darkness is embracing his body. How miserable. To think I would die because of a stupid almond...Ryan will be laughing when he heard this. ------ "Wake up, you pig!" A harsh voice is jolted him away from his sleeping state. At the same time, his body is being drenched by a bucket of smelly water. "Since you're a pig, you didn't mind to bathe in poop, right?" Mocking waves of laughter are resounding in the dark, small room. Three boys and one girl are looking down at him with disgusted expressions plastered on their faces. One of the boys is holding an empty bucket. Jae Woon is dumbfounded. Wha...? Where is he? No, no, no. Actually, who are these pompous brats?! How dare they...Jae Woon suddenly felt that something is wrong with his body. He had difficulty in moving around and felt extremely sluggish. What is this?! Since when his slender and sturdy body changed into a piggy in just one night?!

Certified raketera, palaban at walang inuurungan. Siya si Leah Rivera o mas kilala sa tawag na Iya ng mga taong malapit sa kaniya. Magmula pagkabata ay natuto na siyang maging isang raketera dahil maaga rin siyang tinuruan ng kaniyang ina na nagtitinda sa palengke ng kung anu-anong trabaho na sa kalaunan ay nakasanayan na niyang gawin. Ang kailangan niya ay pera. Pera na makakatulong sa kanila para mairaos ang kanilang pang-araw araw na pangangailangan at para na rin makatulong siya sa pagpapaaral sa kaniyang kambal na kapatid na ngayon ay nasa kolehiyo na. Likas kay Leah ang pagiging masayahin at pagkakaroon ng positibong pananaw sa buhay. Pero hindi sa lahat ng oras. Tulad na lamang nang isang gabi, habang nagse-serve siya ng alak sa mga mayayamang costumer ng bar na pinapasukan niya ay may nagtangkang mambastos sa kaniya. Dahil likas sa kaniya ang pagiging palaban, gumanti siya sa lalaki. Ang kaso, ang suntok na dapat na para rito ay dumapo sa isang kasama nito na wala namang ginawang masama sa kaniya. Paano kung ang lalaking hindi niya sinasadyang masuntok ay ang anak ng kaniyang boss? At anong gagawin niya kung sakaling magkagusto ito sa kaniya at yayain siya nitong magpakasal? Makakaya ba niyang tanggapin ang alok nito sa kaniya kapalit ng halaga na makapag-aahon sa kanila sa kahirapan? Will she ever fall in love with the man who is only good at pestering her with his stupid antics?

Wealth, fame, power, Alpha Davien is the stereotypical playboy who has both the looks and commitment issues. Leading one of the most powerful packs in the whole of New York, life couldn't be much better for him. That was, till his father made an announcement that changed his all so perfect life. With his father stepping down from chairman and their company merging with their number one rival. Davien was left with no choice but to agree to a marriage between himself and the heir of their rivals to preserve the peace and keep his inheritance. Infamous for rejecting three mates in a row, Davien is certain that his so called marriage would end as miserably as any other of his entanglements. However, on the night of his engagement party to Silvia, the eldest daughter and heir to the company, a surprise guest arrives at the event. Kian Saint. The nineteen year old rebel son of the rival company, rumoured to have gone to prison abroad and was deported. Tension rises when Davien and Kian both discover that they're actually each other's mate! Determined not to lose his inheritance, Davien offers Kian a large sum of money with the intention of rejecting the mate bond. Things go south when Davien hears what Kian has to say... "Do I look stupid? Why should I accept this small amount when I can become your husband and have all your money to myself?" Conflicted, he tries to approach Silvia but is left stunned at what she has to say. "I'll admit, I'm a bit shocked myself, but I'm glad Kian has a mate! As long as you keep my brother happy, I won't run your company into the ground." Left with no other choice, the playboy Davien marries an omega seven years younger!

Liana Elizabeth Rose of the prestigious Rose family woke gasping—remembering everything. At first, she thought it was a dream. Or a hallucination. Maybe heaven, maybe hell, or wherever people go when life has been cruel enough to steal their breath. But the room was the same. The curtains were the same. The smooth, unscarred skin she touched was the same. As if the last five years of betrayal and humiliation had never etched themselves into her. Then the panic hit. She remembered. Every. Single. Thing. The cold metal of prison bars. Her husband Adrian’s dead, beautiful eyes accusing her of the accident. The trial. The cousin who framed her. The family who abandoned her. The little brother who no longer remembered her voice. Her death. And the cruelest truth: she wasn’t even from this world. It was a book a stupid novel her roommate had recommended. She died inside a story she didn’t write. And now, she woke up at the moment everything began to crumble. Fine. Sharpen her mind. Feed her ambition. And when the plot tried to drag her back, she’d pull harder. Then there was him—Adrian. From his point of view, the world shifted. Her scent. Her voice. Her existence. Everything about her crawled under his skin, sank into his bloodstream, coiled around his bones. He didn’t understand it. He didn’t want to. He only knew: if she breathed, he wanted it. If she moved, he followed. Obsession wasn’t a symptom—it was his nature. And Liana? She had rewritten herself into the one thing he could never let go of. This time, she wasn’t the victim. She wasn’t a plot device. She was the storm. And Adrian? Learning, too late, that even possession has a price.

"Let me go, I'm... I'm your brother's fiancée." I huffed trying to push him away but he trapped my hands above my head and leaned in so close till his lips were close to my ears, "You might belong to my brother now," his voice was a venomous whisper, his breath hot against my skin, "but you were mine first, Kitty." He whispered and licked my ear so gently that goosebumps covered my body. "You're stupid! Do you have a death wish? If your brother finds out, he will kill you!" I shout-whispered but he only chuckled, bit my ear lobe before staring at me deep in the eyes and asked, "Are you gonna tell him, Kitty?” √√√√√√√√ Lily's life takes a wild turn when she becomes involved with the mafia twin brothers Draco and Larry. Larry, her former university tormentor, reappears just as she is forced into an arranged marriage with Draco, the heir to the Dark Raven mafia. As the tension rises, the brothers' desires for Lily intensify, resulting in a dangerous dance of attraction and room for betrayal. Bullied and wanted by Larry, Lily now faces Draco's relentless advances, both in the bedroom and over the mafia empire. Meanwhile, Larry's protective instincts surface, drawing him closer to the woman he once tormented. The lines blur between tormentor and protector, as forbidden desires simmer beneath the surface, threatening to ignite a flammable flame in the mafia family. Caught between love and power, Lily is torn between Draco's fiery passion and Larry's mystifying calm devotion. Loyalty hangs by a thread, and Lily must decide which brother holds the key to her heart—or risk becoming a pawn in their dangerous game.

Triple Threats -Strong Female Lead -Three scoundrels, Cough! Cuties on a mission. -Rebirth Interviewer, "If you and your husband's mistress are drowning, who would he save first?" Scarlett Tates scoffs, "That's a ridiculous question. I don't have the time to play such stupid games. In Fact, you've just reminded me to take swimming lessons." Dakota Asgrave frosts over, "Mrs Asgrave how can I be your prince charming if you don't spare me some opportunities? You, stop this interview! How dare you put bad thoughts into my wife's mind?! Isn't it hard enough that she is a prodigy in everything?!" Interviewer, "..." * * * Scarlett Tates, an overbearing aristocrat, didn't expect the cliche that happens in books to happen to her as well. Her fiance, whom she donated a kidney to, cheated on her with her senior step-sister. Distraught, she sought solace in alcohol and ended up sleeping with an unknown man! Strangely, after that steamy night she found herself, bloody and with a sickly baby girl in front of her parents' gates with no memory of what had happened or where she's been in the last 9 months! Over the next ten years, the once proud woman was chastised by the world, used and abused by her family, fiance and her once greatest hope of a love-filled life, her husband. What's worse she was separated from her daughter for five years! In the end, Scarlett died a miserable death of being run down by a car like an animal and made a wish in her last breath. It seemed God had finally noticed her when she opened her eyes, back five years in the past! After being given a second chance how will Scarlett take charge of her life? What truths might she discover on her way of becoming the next top doctor?