The Center Cannot Hold Novels & Stories

“…what are you doing?” My lips parted slightly. My voice barely a whisper. “What I did before.” The pressure reversed. Not pushing out— Being pulled in. The crack inside me— It didn’t widen. It sealed. Slowly. Painfully. But it held. The presence resisted. Struggled. But it was bound. Connected. Tied to something it couldn’t break free from— Me. The voice dropped lower. Darker. “You can’t hold me forever.” My chest rose slowly.

But I do. I do. The preparation is supposed to help, supposed to be the answer, supposed to be everything. It’s supposed to be. But it’s not. It’s more. It’s more than I think, more than I am, more than I can hold. More than I can hold together, more than I can hold without him, without them, without, without, without.

They’ve already done that. Now they just need us to remember. Marcus hasn’t come back. But he hasn’t disappeared either. He exists somewhere in between now. Not outside the situation. Not fully inside it. Just… caught in it. Used. That’s the word that won’t leave my head. And Adrian— Adrian is still standing in the center of everything, holding it together the only way he knows how. Control. Pressure. Force. But I can see it now. The cracks. Not in what he’s doing.

“Zayden” He didn’t look away. didn’t move. because he was already committed. and then the space shifted again. not around us. behind us. I turned and for the first time—I saw it. not the presence. not the force. the core. the center of it all. and it wasn’t empty. It wasn’t abstract. It wasn’t formless. It had a shape. familiar. wrong. and the moment I recognized it. everything in me went still. because the thing at the center—the thing controlling all of this. wasn’t something ancient. wasn’t something unknown. It was someone.

"I know you are wonderful, maybe I never deserved you. What deformed was my love that instead of comforting... it has hurt you!" -Lu Jin Nián (Holding Onto His Distorted Love) __________________________________________ "How many second chances can we give her?" "But sir, she is a talented artist!" "So what if she is talented, company has suffered heavy losses because of her..."

I knew it was futile, but I kept trying to go after him anyway. The grip of 12 large hands held me firmly in place, no matter how hard I tried to break free of their grasp. I’d already burned through most of the adrenalin that had fueled my earlier success, and without it, there was no hope for me. Eventually my body sagged in their hold, defeated.

I pull over, park, and lay my head against the steering wheel, nearly hyperventilating. I feel so... empty. Like I sold my soul and have nothing to show for it. I dig my nails into the vinyl of the steering wheel and force myself to count down from ten. By the time I reach one, I've managed to breathe normally again. This is just a setback, I tell myself. There's still plenty you can do for the Center. Don't let one bad weekend destroy all of your hope.

Not to check. Just to feel it for himself. The air was holding barely. But holding. Like when the center of a circle leaves, and the perimeter tries to remember how to stay in shape. A new system note flashed: :: PRESENCE HOLD COMPLETE :: LOGGING STATE: UNDECLARED CYCLE :: COMMENT: USER EXITED WITHOUT CLOSE BUT ROOM REMAINS SHAPED. THIS WAS NOT A COMMAND. THIS WAS A PRESENCE SHIFT. Cassian spoke under his breath: “She didn’t mean to lead it.”

We both held each other tightly, as we both drifted off to sleep. CONRI. I'm going insane! I'm fucking going crazy! Everything is just crumbling around me. And I can't do anything about it. This is not me. This is not who I am. I am always in control. I get whatever I want. Why then I'm I not able to handle everything right now. Why does it feel like my world is about to shatter right in front of me? And I won't be able to do anything.

Everything I had been holding off by reacting, surviving, stabilizing, finally settled. Delph. Gone from my reach. Not gone in existence. But gone in connection. Corin holding Bloodstone together with nothing but exhaustion and will. The twins stepping into something far too large for their age. Serena, moving toward something uncertain, trying to reclaim herself in the middle of chaos. And me. Standing at the center of it all. Trying to hold what was never meant to be held alone. My throat tightened slightly. For a moment, I let myself just… feel it.