Velvet Desires
“Here’s what I think, Lila. Your body learned very early that desire equals danger. So it built a wall. The wall is sophisticated; it lets you perform, it lets you caretake your partner’s pleasure, but it will not let you fall. When you’re alone, the wall comes down because there’s no risk of abandonment or judgment. When someone else is there, it slams shut.”
I stared at him, throat tight.
“Does that feel true?” he asked.
“Yes,” I managed.
He nodded. “Then we have work to do.”
I laughed wetly. “You’re not… shocked?”
“I’ve heard every flavor of desire there is,” he said. “What shocks me is how much suffering people endure to avoid saying it out loud.”
He stood, walked to a low cabinet, and t