When Desire Turns Dangerous 소설 & 이야기

He struggled for the right word. "More of an arse than usual?" I suggested helpfully. "Desperate," he said seriously. "And that makes him dangerous." I considered this as we walked toward the front door, our footsteps echoing on the ancient stone. A desperate Lysander was indeed a concerning prospect. The man had been formidable enough when he'd been secure in his power. Backed into a corner, facing his own mortality... Well, that had the potential to be spectacularly unpleasant for everyone involved.

“Tell me more.” I swallowed. My tongue felt thick. “I think… the book is honest about how desire can feel dangerous. Not just to society, but to the self. Once you let it in—once you name it, once you act on it, you can’t pretend it isn’t there anymore which changes the way you see everything else. Even yourself.” He leaned back in his chair, fingers steepled under his chin, studying me with that same focused attention he gives to a difficult passage. “And have you ever let it in?”

“Not if you’re quiet, as I instructed.” I stared at him, at this powerful, apparently crazy man, who wanted to live out this sexual fantasy on company time. He ran a hand through his wavy hair, his eyes shining, full of excitement. I had to admit… the thought of doing something so damn wrong made me horny as hell. Who was I turning into? This wasn’t like responsible old Danielle, who always did things by the book; dependable Danielle who always had a cool head and kept things under control. That girl didn’t do things like this. Not by a long shot.

She felt herself shiver at the memory, a shiver that was not entirely from fear. Her pulse refused to calm. What scared her was not that they had almost crossed the line. What scared her was the depth of desire that had flared between them, the way it had pulled her toward him with a force that defied logic. She had always thought desire was a dangerous thing to indulge, a temptation to be avoided, but with Damian, it was like staring into a fire that both warmed and threatened to consume.

She pauses at the center, letting the silence build before her voice cuts through the darkness. “Danger,” she begins, her tone steady but with an edge that promises more. “It’s a word that triggers an instinctual reaction—our pulse quickens, adrenaline surges, and suddenly, we’re hyper-aware of everything around us. But what if I told you that danger is also one of the most potent fuels for sexual desire?” The audience shifts in their seats, some leaning forward, others exchanging glances, intrigued but uncertain.

I lifted my hand slightly, calming him even as my own heart thundered. “You’re asking me to choose,” I said slowly. “Yes.” Mary’s voice softened. “They want to see which desire you value enough to anchor reality to.” “And the others?” I asked. “They will not be erased,” the second said. “But they will be… released.” The word felt hollow. I turned away from Elliot, forcing myself to breathe. All this time, desire had been danger because it was uncontrolled. Forbidden because it disrupted order. Now they wanted to use it.

An electric, unwelcome thrill coursed through me, making my heart pound in my chest. I shook my head and pulled the robe closed, tightening the belt as if I could shut the feeling away. Disgust twisted in my stomach. This was wrong. He was Dan’s brother. He lived under our roof. Letting this kind of attraction grow was dangerous. It threatened everything I had fought so hard to protect, my safety, my stability, my carefully built life. My plan was simple. Marry Dan for his money, stay with him for a few years, then leave with a generous settlement and find a true Alpha to be with. It was clean. It was logical. Getting involved with Xavier would ruin it all.

“Says who?” I had no answer. He leaned forward, just enough that I caught the faint scent of coffee and something warmer (cedar, maybe). “Here’s what I think, Lila. Your body learned very early that desire equals danger. So it built a wall. The wall is sophisticated; it lets you perform, it lets you caretake your partner’s pleasure, but it will not let you fall. When you’re alone, the wall comes down because there’s no risk of abandonment or judgment. When someone else is there, it slams shut.”

I said, “I am afraid I will unravel. I have always been composed, sensible and faithful. This feels reckless. It feels like standing at the edge of something vast and dangerous.” I lifted my gaze to the screen, though I could not see him clearly. “In the dreams, I am fearless. I let him guide me wherever he wants. I trust him completely. And that frightens me more than the desire itself. I do not want to be someone who loses herself in another person.” The quiet in the booth felt thoughtful, not condemning. “Desire can teach us about ourselves,” he said. “It can show us what we are missing, or what we fear. It is not the end of you unless you allow it to replace everything else.”

No second times, and definitely no strings attached. They always want more. Always think they're different. As if I haven't seen their type a thousand times before—wide eyes, trembling lips, hope curled around their fingertips like a goddamn prayer. As if spreading your legs a night before Church gathering would give them a place in heaven or whatever place these goddamn people have made up. Begging on knees. Praying. But prayers don't work on men like me. I take. I ruin. I walk away. Because desire is a dangerous thing.