Novel & Cerita Why Is My Body Trembling Inside

All observed me with an almost palpable intensity. "I... I can't." "You can. The question is: do you want to?" I was trembling. My hands, my legs, my lips—my whole body was trembling. The fear was so strong it choked me, compressed my chest, almost prevented me from breathing. But underneath, deep down, there was something else. A burning excitement rising from my belly, already moistening my underwear, making me feel shame and desire at once. "If I do it," I said, "what happens after?"

Knees on the cold tile floor, palms shaky, chest rising and falling like I’d just come up from drowning. This wasn’t the first time it happened. In fact, it was the third time this week. At first, I’d blamed it on stress—on everything I’d seen, everything I’d done, everything I couldn’t undo. But today, as I wiped my mouth and sat back against the bathtub, something felt…off. Different. I wasn’t just tired or overwhelmed. My hand trembled as it settled over my stomach. No. No, it couldn’t be.

The needle on the temperature monitor was creeping upward, inching toward the red zone. "Steady," I whispered to myself. "Just stay steady." I reached out to adjust the manual flow valve. My hand hovered over the metal wheel, and that’s when I saw it. The tremor. It was slight, a subtle vibration in my fingertips, but it was there. My hand was shaking. I clenched my fist, pressing my fingers into my palm until the knuckles turned white. I took a sharp breath, willing the tremor to stop. But it didn't. It was a physical betrayal; a symptom of a body that was running on fumes.

But fuck if I understand that right now. Because this, right here, this moment suspended in the middle of nowhere feels like the truest thing I have experienced in a very long fucking time. But then something happens. A full body shake takes hold of her. And it is not just one of the side effects of her insomnia; it is a violent type, as if she’s about to combust. Her chin trembles, too, like when she’s scared. Like right before she goes to hide. What the fuck am I doing?

But no matter what, the ticking remained the same beat over and over and over. His entire body shivered and shook, but not because he was cold or afraid. Rather, he just couldn’t help it. His body needed something it didn’t have and it literally went insane on him. His muscles spasmed as his nerves randomly shot out signals. It was simply trying to tell him that something was very wrong. It just didn’t know how. Or even why.

In moments of sharp stress, or in the cold grip of the nightmare, a fine, uncontrollable tremor started in his fingers. It was trembling now. He gazed at it, hypnotized by the betrayal of his own body. This was the truth the slick corporate executives like Anton Rogers never saw. This was the cost of failure. It was not a mark in a file or a promotion denied. It was a tremor in the dark. It was the resonance of a little girl's scream that would never fully fade. He tightened his fist, tendons standing out, trying to throttle the weakness, to steady himself by will alone. The trembling persisted, a fine, frantic shaking.

My fingers are trembling and my heart beta is frantic. What… what is happening to me?