You Get So Alone At Times That It Just Makes Sense 소설 & 이야기

It’s cliché, but it applies to everything. “You think the time you spend with me is enough for you to say that? Do you think that I don’t try to will myself into doing things on my own? I am not the one you need. Because you, you are my world. But let me correct myself. I am not obsessed with you. You just don’t know what it feels like to be alone.”

In the end I was again going to be lonely without my brother for two weeks. I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone but it's wrong, the worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone. People who are broken inside and are alone, always know that the sun is alone too and it's still shining so it's better standing alone than being around people who don't value you.

Sage The moment the call ends, everything inside me unravels. It doesn’t happen all at once. It’s not dramatic or loud. It’s quiet and insidious, like a crack spreading slowly through glass. I sit there on the couch with Theo still asleep against my chest, the TV murmuring nonsense in the background, Maya kneeling in front of me with concern etched into her face and yet I feel completely alone inside my own head. I have to go home. The words repeat over and over, each time heavier than the last.

You are not alone. Your Author, Ally Ocampo

No one who would understand. I was completely alone.

I suddenly had a real understanding of what it meant to be alone. I had been mired in grief and just managing to put one foot in front of the other. I hadn’t had time to feel really alone until that moment. It was my own fault. I had bought a big ass house and had no people to fill it with. It only compounded the loneliness.

The only thing I could think, the only thing I could trust enough to believe, was this: If I was crazy, it felt a lot better than being alone. * * *

So here's a thing, people lie, they are disrespectful, they wear masks, and they turn to be a bit tiring to me. A lot of people don't get it, that as a loner when I am around people I feel mentally and physically exhausted and I not only want to be alone, I also sometimes need to be alone to get my energy and sanity back. My family calls me weird, but being alone is my source of energy and being around people takes that energy away. This is not a joke, my family even knows so they end up telling me to leave and go back into my room where I will get my alone time.

Lurking alone in a room while drowning in pain. Seeing what's behind the picture, I am slowly comprehending what the other me had lived. Full of sorrow and alone. Why is it that I'm always alone? Can't I have somebody to lean on or to hold on to? "Mom was hurt when you disobeyed her will, you knew what was going to happen." I'm lost. What did I do wrong? "But you don't have to think about that now. What's important now is for you to keep up. There's nothing wrong with taking time to move on. What matters is I'll be here whenever you need me."

"Fine, that's the way you want it? To be alone? I nod. Being alone has become my mantra. It's not an easy one to give up. Why accept help now when I've done such a wonderful job of screwing everything up on my own? There's no point in bringing Nate on my spiral downward. He still has a chance of a normal life and he should get to go out there and live it without all the added weight of my problems.