AIA.03 - So why don't we just play pretend

Round Two

Kairos Gregor Rouvin Vejar's

"I might not come home tomorrow, Iake."

I was massaging my temples while talking to my wife on the phone. I am inside the coffee shop just in front of Catherine Fe's building. I was drinking black coffee without sugar or creamer. I hate sweets.

"Oh, that's sad. Nagluto pa naman ako ng favorite mong patatim." I just smiled.

"That's too bad. But you can still cook it for me when I get back next week." I continued sipping my coffee while talking to my wife while waiting for my other wife. That's how fucked up I am right now. "Where are the kids?" I asked.

"Danielle is asleep. Ada is watching tv, do you wanna talk to her?"

"Of course." I smiled. Maya-maya ay kausap ko na ang bunso ko sa phone.

"Daddy, I missed you when are you gonna come back?"

"Daddy misses you more, Princess. I love you. When I get back we're going to Disneyland." Sabi ko sa kanya. Nagthank you siya sa akin at saka nag-goodnight na. Ibinalik niya ang phone kay Mariake at saka na ako nagpaalam. I am shaking my head as I put my phone down. Iniisip kong tama namang wala talaga ako dapat sa sitwasyong ito kundi dahil kay Cachi. It's her fault. She should've told me. Kung sinabi niya nang mas maaga, wala ako dito ngayon.

Napatayo ako nang makita kong bumaba na siya mula sa apartment building niya. Sinabayan ko iyon ng paglabas ng coffee shop at pagtawid ng daan para makalapit sa kanya. She saw me. Nakita kong hawak niya ang kamay noong anak nila ni Ody.

"Mommy that's the stranger yesterday!" The boy said. I didn't smile at him. I looked directly to his mom.

"We should talk."

"I have no time to talk, Kairos. You can do whatever. Wala namang pupuntahan ang usapan natin. Dahil alam kong habang nakatayo ka ngayon, iniisip mo ang mga pros and cons diyan sa buhay mo. Get in, Rem." The kid got to the car. Cathy fixed his seat bealt. I was just watching her. Umikot siya para sumakay na rin sa kotse niya pero bago pa siya nakasakay ay nauna na ako sa loob.

"Get out of my car." She said.

"I won't. We're going to talk." She just rolled her eyes tapos pinasibad na niya ang kotse. I was looking around. I haven't been to Seattle, ngayon lang. Dapat nga ipasyal niya ako.

"Tour me, Catherine."

"I have other things – more important things to attend to. But I will be glad to drop you off the airport." Walang abog na sabi niya.

"Pinapaalis mo na talaga ako."

"Yes. It's not like I own Seattle or anything, I just don't like you around me. We can never be like before, Kairos. You know that."

Pumasok kami sa isang school. She parked the car and went out. Binuksan niya iyong passenger door at saka inalalayan iyong anak niya. Bumaba na rin ako. I watched her. Ibinigay niya iyong lunch box doon sa bata tapos ay isinuot niya iyong bag sa likod nito. She pinched his nose and smile.

"Be good, Rem okay? Don't let the bad kids get to you."

"I won't, Mommy, they're all my friends. Can I get my classmates drawing for Rom again? Can I put it in Rom's wall later?"

"Mommy will put it in Rom's wall."

"Can't I come? Is he on memo thewapy again?"

The boy looks like he's about to cry. I smirked.

"Catherine, ang tagal. Hindi ba male-late iyang bata? Ang daming arte. Manang-mana sa ama." I snorted. Naalala ko noong bata si Ody,palagi siyang pinaiiyak ni Apollo at Achilles.

"Please, Mommy, I wanna see Rom..." The boy even pouted his lips. Catherin sighed.

"I am gonna pick you up later." She kissed the boy cheeks. "Eat your lunch and listen to Mrs. Sawyer."

"I will, Mommy! I love you!" The boy run away. Tumayo si Catherine at tiningnan ako. Sumakay ako sa kotse niya. Wala naman siyang magagawa.

"Ang arte ng anak mo. Si Ody ba nagturo na gaganoon siya? He's a pussy. Baka magmana iyong anak mo. Mukhang lalambutin pa naman." Hindi niya ako pinapansin. Napansin kong mabilis siyang magpatakbo ng sasakyan tapos bigla na lang siyang nagpreno – dahilan para mauntog ako sa dashboard niya. "Aray! Fuck!" I looked at her. Hindi pa rin siya nagsasalita. Umakto siya na parang walang nangyari.

Ang sumunod na pinuntahan namin ay ang ospital. Hindi ko alam kung anong ginagawa namin roon pero may balak talaga akong sundan siya buong araw hangga't hindi niya ako kinakausap nang maayos.

We went inside the elevator. Pinindot niya iyong 4 sa button at hindi naman nagtagal ay narrating na naming ang floor na iyon. I still followed her hanggang sa makapasok kami sa pinakadulong kwarto – iyong pintuan sa may kanan.

Inside, I saw a little kid – kamukha niya iyong bata kanina. I realized that Cachi had twin boys.

The boy was being attended to by the doctors. Nakatayo lang si Cachi habang nakatingin doon sa mga kung ano-anong nakakabit na aparato sa anak niya. May bonnet iyong bata. Payat na payat siya tapos ay napakaputla.

"How is he?" She asked the doctor.

"Rom is doing okay, Miss Cinco. We are ready to operate on him tomorrow. He's immune system is normal and he doesn't have a fever and all. Let's just pray for the best."

"Thank you, Dr. Davis." Kinamayan niya iyong doctor tapos ay lumapit siya doon sa bata. Tinabihan niya ito. She was smiling.

"Who's he?" The boy asked in a low voice.

"Mommy's client, Rom. Did you hear the doctor? You are ready for tomorrow, Kiddo. Mommy's gonna be proud whatever happens."

"Will I get to see Rem before?" He asked his mother.

"Rem will be here later. He's gonna put another get well soon drawing in your wall, baby."

Habang nakatingin ako kay Cachi ay napansin kong naluluha siya. Pinipilit niya lang ngumiti.

"How about my dad? Will I get to see him before?"

That was when her tears fell. Napatingin siya sa akin. Hindi naman ako tanga. That stare is familiar. Lumabas ako ng silid niya pero hindi ko inalis ang tingin ko sa kanilang dalawa. Cachi was telling something to the kid. She was caressing his tummy. Pigil na pigil ang pag-iyak niya. After a while. She kissed him.

I stayed outside the room. Hindi ba pinupuntahan ni Ody ang anak niya? He looks very ill! Habang nakatingin ako doon sa bata kanina para bang nadududurog ako. Hindi ko ma-imagine kung mangyari iyon sa mga anak ko, sigurado akong uubusin ko lahat ng mayroon ako para maging okay lang si Danielle at si Ada.

Hindi naman nagtagal ay lumabas na siya. Hindi rin ako nagsasalita. Matagal siyang nakatayo sa may pinto na para bang kinakalma niya ang sarili niya. And the she faced me.

"Hindi kita matitiis buong araw kaya pwede bang umalis ka na? My son needs me. My full attention – hindi pwedeng nandito ka. Wala naman akong hahabulin sa'yo, Kairos. Sa'yo na ang pera mo, sa'yo na ang marriage certificate mo, sa'yo na lahat. I just don't want anything to do with you anymore. Hindi ko ipagsasabi na naging kasal tayo. Hindi na kita lalapitan o kakausapin."

"Cach... can we just talk, let's just pretend that nothing changed. Like it's just the way it used to be."

Sinampal niya ako.

"We can never come back to that, Kairos Gregor Rouvin Vejar." She sobbed. "Noong gabing iyon noong kasal mo, noong may nangyari sa atin, I gave you a chance." Sabi niya. "I fucking gave you a chance, Kairos. You can't go around telling girls you love them and go marry someone the next morning."

Muli na naman akong nakatanggap ng sampal mula sa kanya.

"What do you want me to do, huh, Catherine?" I asked her. "What do you want me to do?!"

"If this was before, I would like you to grow some balls. But right now, all I want is for you to leave me alone and let me be. Go back to the Philippines. Be with your wife and with your kids. I am okay here."

I grabbed her arms. "Look at me and tell me that it's really what you want."

Catherine Fe looked at me.

"This is what I want. Please, leave me alone."

Dahan-dahan ko siyang binitiwan.

"It's different now, Kairos. May dalawang batang lalaking umaasa sa akin ngayon. Mahal na mahal ko silang dalawa at hindi ko kailangan ng tulad mon a walang tapang at lakas ng loob para ipaglaban at isipin ang isang bagay na hindi makakabuti para sa kanya. You married the woman of your dreams, ngayon, panindigan mo iyon."

Catherine turned her back on me.

I shook my head.

I can't.... I really can't...