แชร์

Chapter 11.

ผู้เขียน: Jolante424
last update ปรับปรุงล่าสุด: 2021-09-11 20:30:13

Calm. That's me right about now.

I had a fulfilling spiritual therapy and now I'm sitting on a bench outside , enjoying the cool air but of course plans are thrown out the window when I see Connor coming my way.

The memory of last night invades my calm thoughts and now regret plays deep within me. Last night shouldn't have happened.

I shouldn't have revealed myself so much, having myself exposed and vulnerable and letting him see me so weak. It shouldn't have to be up to him to comfort me and bear my baggage, I just can't do that to him when he too is dealing with his own stuff, I just can't be that selfish.

My thoughts soon disappear when I see him standing in front of me and he is smiling at me, not a big smile just a small one.

" I think I might be in trouble," he says as he takes a seat next to me.

"Bound to happen." I say and he smirks at me and my lips lift into a small smile.

"Hi."

"Hi." I respond.

Silence stretches out between us.

" I think you'll need a new partner in crime." I finally speak up.

"Why, when I already have one." He says while leaning back on the bench.

" Cause it won't end well....."

" What won't?"

Oh why is he asking so many questions, can't he just accept what I've said and move on?

" Being involved with me. I think it's best for you to save yourself before any damage is done." I say as I rise to my feet.

" If this is about last night then....."

" Let's just not get too deep with this and let go."

" Don't I get a say in this?" He asks while rising to his own feet, coming over to stand infront of me.

" If we were on some form of agreement then yes but right now, no. Just focus on you and getting out of here and being a free wing." I start moving and when walking past him, I feel his hand on my wrist which brings a sense of warmth and goosebumps along my arm.

" No more risks."

With those words, I pull my hand back and walk away, not even daring to look behind me.

I had to do what had to be done even though a sense of hurt aches within me, but reason wins right about now.

Guess I'll go back to being me before he rocked up into my life.

*******

Right after what happened earlier, I do what I humanly, possibly can to not run into him. In all my time spent with him, which is a small amount, I've gathered that he is a somewhat stubborn but caring being, who I will continue avoiding until he takes this seriously.

During dinner time I see him staring at me from where he's dishing up for his food. Once our eyes lock, it takes both of us a few seconds to look away and heaven, I break the contact first because I almost, and I mean almost softened about my decision.

You see he's not at fault for my decision, it's all on me. I just find it much easier for me to distance myself from people, before they leave and to not trouble them with my problems.

I guess I'm afraid of having to experience that Luke situation again , where I let down all those walls and let him in, only to have him break me and then leave me bare, then I'd have to be the one to pick up the remaining pieces while being alone.

After being broken down and building yourself up, it's not easy to just let anyone in. I mean trust is a big thing, especially to someone who you believe might not hurt you intentionally.

Not knowing what to expect brings up those high alerts when one seems to be getting too close to the walls you've built. I know it's only been a week and already I feel this way concerning Connor but I can't help it, there's something about Connor which pushes me to trust him but then again to not trust him, it's a conflicting feeling and an adjustment to this heart of mine, of how much of myself can I reveal and not reveal to him.

A sigh of relief escapes me when I'm finally out of there and back in my room. My intention once again is to focus on me and surviving the two weeks trial until I get out of here. Like before I had the same intention yet now, a part of me kind of doesn't care and that's scary enough. I'll just have to force the want harder so I won't be sidetracked.

" Miles away are we?" My head whips to the door where I see Vicky standing.

I hear her enter my room when I don't respond but just look away.

" Bea, what's wrong?" She asks after joining me on the bed and still, I don't dare look at her.

" Nothing." I let out.

"Doesn't look like nothing to me. Did something happen?" She lightly rubs my leg in a soothing way.

"Apart from almost being six feet under, no I'm fine." I bite off which has her take a breath.

Looking at her again, sudden guilt takes over for taking my frustration out on her.

" I'm sorry." I apologise.

" No it's okay."

" No, no, I'm just exhausted and being silly, I should get some rest." I say turning to face the wall.

There's a moment of silence that takes over between us before she rises from the bed and I hear her walking away " Goodnight." She says.

"Goodnight." I respond.

Once the door is closed, I let out a breath that I didnt know I had been holding.

Laying on my back, I stare at the ceiling until I feel sleepy.

It's amazing but pretty scary at how the whole situation with Connor is eating at me, I didn't think just a week of knowing someone, could do that to you.

I guess there's much to learn out of this than I thought.

อ่านหนังสือเล่มนี้ต่อได้ฟรี
สแกนรหัสเพื่อดาวน์โหลดแอป

บทล่าสุด

  • NOW YOU SEE ME.   Chapter 44.

    18 years old.Today's my birthday and already I've been bombarded by birthday wishes from my mom and everyone else, when I mean everyone else , it includes Fiona and Candy, who's presents I've received early in the morning, including their phone numbers, email addresses and social media contacts.I swear when they got the news of me finally having a phone, it was like I won a million dollars or something, they were already making plans for updating me on the 21 century, and me being out there, though I've warned them countless times to not even dare try.I can't believe I've finally reached this age and am able to make enough decisions of my life, not that I will go clubbing and acting wild ,no, but being this age shows that I've grown and that my mom, might start viewing me more as a young woman than her baby girl.Looking ahead at the ocean and admiring it , as the sun takes its place, just the sou

  • NOW YOU SEE ME.   Chapter 43.

    ~ Caleb.....I could be saying hi and asking about life right now ,but no, I'll just get straight to the point.Throughout all these years, I've gone through the worst of things in my life, adding that incident with you and your friends or accomplices as I'd prefer calling them. I've done all I could to erase that part of my life, I've failed, failed until I could rise upon that memory and situation, I have to say thank you to Connor for that big part.Seeing you again after so long, brought so much back , especially the fear I had each time I'd be consumed by the nightmares, looking back now, I realize that seeing you again, might have had me fearing for my life, yet finally facing my fears and past.I don't want you to apologise anymore, I don't need that so I have a peace of mind, expressing myself this way is a start for me to look into the future. I forgiv

  • NOW YOU SEE ME.   Chapter 42.

    Running, running and running, not getting to my destination but still energy being within me, I wake up still in the dark and being all sweaty, from my dream. I can't exactly call it a nightmare because of it being not scary but I can't say it's entirely a dream, because of how real it felt.Walking out of my room, tip toeing around so I won't wake my mom, I'm about to head towards the stairs, passing her room only to stay rooted by her ajar door when I hear her talking, I'm quite sure she's on the phone, with Keith maybe.I know it's rude to listen in on someone's conversation, especially your parent and I wouldn't be doing it, if it weren't for her mentioning my name." I honestly don't know what to do, " she says, sounding resigned.With the silence ,I'm quite sure that she's listening to whoever's on the line. " I've tried talking but she won't talk to me, Vicky her guardian from the centre came

  • NOW YOU SEE ME.   Chapter 41.

    Silence. That's all there is and was throughout my trip back home.My heart has been broken and hurt before but at this moment , having to break up with the boy I love, then leaving and ending my adventure like it meant nothing when it did, no words can describe the emotional state I'm in.As much as I'm hurting and all, and throughout all of this, no matter how much I'm hurt by my moms actions, some of what she's said is right. Yes, travelling and falling in love was something new and exciting, but I also have to put her first, the adventure was bound to come to an end soon, though I didn't expect it to turn out the way it did.Caleb's return or shall I say visit is one of the major factors and parts, of my adventure turning sour, I've known that one day I'd bump into all those who've messed my life but not so soon. You know, when your life has been a rollercoaster ride, you tend to just accept it and place it as a normality. My mom was right, I was

  • NOW YOU SEE ME.   Chapter 40.

    ' It has to be. It's for the best.'My mom's words keep on ringing in my head while my eyes are focused on the door, waiting at any minute for him to show up.Not long after thinking this, the door opens and in comes Connor. This is what I've been dreading yet knowing full well that it has to be done.So before I jump right into this, My mom had a lot to talk about, well more like argued, chatted and then argued again and yep you guessed it, it's all got to do with Connor and my trip here in Miami.I can recall her words, hitting me so hard that I found myself in tears." Bailey, I can't lose you and you being here almost had me lose you. Hospital visits, I can't go through that again." She said, shaking her head." I'm sorry mom, " I tried apologising.' I know that travelling and doing this seemed like an adventure, I'm glad that yo

  • NOW YOU SEE ME.   Chapter 39.

    What a rush, the beach, the feel of the water and those waves.I might be alone and experiencing this alone but damn I'm having such a blast, the sun is setting and I really hope he'll be back soon, since he's surely missing out on a lot of fun.What I love about being in the water is how freeing it is, being controlled by the water yet feeling on top of the world while gaining such a rush. I'm quite sure my voice is pretty much disappearing, and the cold is creeping in. Being in the water, the sun disappearing and me in this space, absorbing what I can while freely letting go. What more could I want?It's truly a gift to be able to let go and have a moment to be in your own space at your own time.Sighing after a minutes debate of whether I should call him or not, I groan out, feeling undecided.I'm already done with my swim and it was so refreshing, though it would have been cool i

บทอื่นๆ
สำรวจและอ่านนวนิยายดีๆ ได้ฟรี
เข้าถึงนวนิยายดีๆ จำนวนมากได้ฟรีบนแอป GoodNovel ดาวน์โหลดหนังสือที่คุณชอบและอ่านได้ทุกที่ทุกเวลา
อ่านหนังสือฟรีบนแอป
สแกนรหัสเพื่ออ่านบนแอป
DMCA.com Protection Status