Chapter 2 discovery

Grace 

That night I went back to my brother's room while he stayed in mine. As I walked into his room I saw his already packed school bags. I looked around the room and realized that my brother has changed so much, it took me long to realize that. 

The walls of his room that was usually covered with stickers of his favorite football players are now blank, it's almost like he's back in a shell and has lost his will to live, you can as well say he's a living corpse, his room was more like an empty space and this is what my parents failed to see.

I walked to his bag and opened it, and it was just an empty box with a few school uniforms and some toiletries. The uniforms were almost unrecognizable, his sneakers and everything were literally worn out and the fact that he didn't bother asking for new ones is because he knows that once he step his feet into that school even a new shoe will become old, so I know my brother that's why he didn't bother changing anything. 

I angrily closed back the bag, I was surging with anger, mixed emotions of neglect wash through me, knowing that my brother might never be able to play football again broke me cause football was literally his happiness, the only reason why he smile was because of his dreams to become a footballer, 

Each time school is resuming he's always happy because of football, but those rich brats have taken that opportunity away from him. It's almost like my brother has lost his will to live, I'm not just going back for revenge, I'm going back so they would pay for everything my brother has lost.

I blame myself for not noticing my brother's suffering earlier. How did it take so long for me to see my identical twin brother's suffering? I felt so disappointed in myself as his sister, I felt unworthy of all my brother's love, but most especially how could my parents not notice that their once beloved and high-spirited son has changed so much beyond recognition.

Their shortcomings as parents are so much that I suddenly want to protect my brother away from them, cause they are not even worthy to question his academic fallout.

It made me think that my once lovely parents have failed in life most especially my dad, he could not achieve so much in life and he ended up putting so much pressure on my brother and I which we happily accepted and have been working towards our dreams to make our parents proud, but when my brother suddenly changed instead of them to figure out the reason for his change, they projected their insecurities on him and blamed him for his bad academic performance without finding out the reason.

My father became so toxic to my brother that instead of home becoming my brother's safe space after what he's facing in school, home became another hell he has to endure before going back to school, but from now on I'm not going to allow anybody to hurt my brother, not even my father who has failed both in life and as a father.

I opened my brother's closet and took out new school uniforms and sneakers, I opened his bag and brought out the old ones and just by looking at them I'm already imagining the face of everyone of them, I didn't know I was so angry till I fell the wet droplet on the floor, I slowly looked down at my hand and saw that I have pinched myself so hard that blood began to drip out, 

I heaved a soft sigh as I walked to the trash by the side and disposed of the worn out uniforms and sneakers, and now it's time for the real deal. I took a pair of scissors and made my way into the bathroom.

Ever since I was born I've had a freaking gorgeous long hair that can make anyone wish they were me, and you can say that's the only difference between my brother and I, I fucking love my hair so much but it's nothing compared to the love I have for my brother, he's like my other half, if taking down this hair is what it will take me to protect my brother's life then I don't mind doing it over and over again, so for now I'm going to be saying goodbye to the old me as I welcome this version of myself, 

I took the bold step and cut down the first part, and just like that I didn't stop till my long hair was gone, and now I looked exactly like my brother, but looking at my face I realized something was not right, my brother's mole on his left eye, I need to always use my mascara and create a fake mole, apart from that every other thing is set. 

I was so immense in cutting my hair that I didn't even know someone walked into the room until I went back and saw mum on the bed, shit! I was so fucking freaked out,

“Mum you scared me” I groan holding onto my fast beating chest, 

“Great honey, can I talk to you?” She asked, mum has always been like Great, always smiling all the time, but tonight she looked so drained and tired, I think she has been worried about Great, she patted on the space beside her so I went to sit

“Honey it's about your dad and I, we realized we have been hard on you, and I'm here to apologize we just want the best for you, we don't want you to end up like us, you see that our family is barely feeding, but you have a scholarship in a prestige school and you're almost in your 12th grade you just have to hold on a little longer” 

*Mum, this is your idea alone right? Cause I know dad who is selfish and always thinks about himself does not care* That was what I wanted to say to my mum but remembering that Great would not talk back at my mother like that I sighed, 

“Mum is this your idea? What if something bad is happening to me in that school, can't I change to some other school?”

“No Great you can't you have endure just a little bit longer”

“So mum, what if I tell you that I might die if I go back to that school will you still force me to go back?” 

“Great! Why would you say a thing like that? You're not going to die, I forbid that” She rejected immediately but I suddenly want to know where my parents heart are, is it on their failed blurry life dreams that is being projected to us as their kids cause they failed in life or do they ever love us as their kids or are we just a took in their eyes

“Can I ask you something mum?”

“What son?” She wanted to shift closer but I pulled back, I was holding back my tears at this point cause my emotions were wilding,

“Mum, what  if you get a call from my school and they tell you that Great Madelva passed away in school, will you cry over my death or cry over the fact that the son who could have elevated you and your husband from poverty is gone”