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MARIS

"I heard the COO is going to be present for today's presentation."  

“The COO? Bakit pupunta siya rito?”  

“He’s present at every presentation. Hindi siya tumatanggal o lumalagpas sa kahit anong presentation.”  

Huminga ako nang malalim at inayos ang skirt ko. Kinailangan kong maging magaling today.  

Santos & Villareal Architects was counting on me.  

“Maris.”  

Lumapit sa akin si Miguel, boyfriend ko and team leader ko.  

“Alam kong sinabi ko na ikaw ang gagawa ng section on sustainability, pero kung nandoon ang COO sa kwarto, baka mas better kung ako na ang gagawa ng buong presentation. Naiintindihan mo naman, ‘di ba?”  

“Kaya ko itong gawin,” pagtutol ko. “Naghahanda na ako for the past three weeks.”  

“Alam ko ‘yan, pero in this kind of situation, sure akong aasahan ng partners na ako ang gagawa ng buong presentation.”  

Puno ng disappointment ang loob ko, pero tumango pa rin ako.  

Siya naman ang project manager after all, and mas malamang na mas makaka-relate ang COO ng Montenegro Holdings sa experienced and professional vibe ni Miguel kaysa sa enthusiasm ko, even if sustainability was my specialty.  

Hindi ko pinansin yung medyo may pagmamalaki na smile ni Clarissa.  

Hindi ko alam kung anong nagawa ko para mainis siya sakin, pero tila ayaw niya sakin ever since she transferred from our Singapore office two months ago.  

Hindi naman ito ang right time para mag-alala about her. May mas importante pa akong isipin.  

“Handa na sila para sa inyo.”  

Bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko, at inayos ko ulit yung skirt.  

Sumunod ako kay Miguel papasok sa room, kinakabahan ako nang husto nung nakita ko yung mga seryosong lalaki at babae around the big table.  

Dumapo ang tingin ko sa kabilang dulo ng mesa.  

At tila huminto ang lahat sa loob ko.  

Tinitigan ako ng cold blue eyes.  

Hindi ako nakahinga.  

For one terrifying second, hindi ako nakagalaw.  

Familiar sa akin yung mga mata na ‘yon.  

Familiar sa akin yung face.  

At bigla na lang, yung night na pilit kong kinakalimutan for the past month bumalik sa isip ko nang buong linaw.  

Hindi siya pwedeng siya.  

Pero siya nga.  

Almost the same pa rin as I remembered, except then nakaupo na siya sa head of the table, wearing a sharp clean suit, and surrounded by executives who looked at him with pure respect, no room for doubt.  

Mahigpit kong hinawakan yung folder sa kamay ko.  

Hindi.  

Sa dami ng tao sa room na ‘to, kailangan pa ring siya.  

Yung tingin niya locked pa rin sakin, and something unreadable passed over his face.  

Kinilala niya ako.  

Napakirot ang tiyan ko.  

Pinilit kong ibaling ang tingin bago pa may makapansin.  

Tapos nakita ko si Miguel umupo a few seats away from him.  

Lalong bumigat yung feeling.  

Nasa room ako with Enzo…  

and my boyfriend.  

Naghahanap ng something to do, inayos ko yung notebook and papers in front of me, nilagay yung pen on top, then kinuha ulit and inilagay sa gilid.  

Kahit ano para lang hindi tumigil yung galaw ng kamay ko.  

Ramdam ko pa rin na nakatingin si Enzo.  

Kahit yung lalaking katabi niya yumuko and whispered something serious to him, yung cold blue eyes locked pa rin sakin.  

Lumunok ako and tumingin sa notes ko.  

Bakit tila galit na galit siya?  

Hindi ko talaga in-expect na makikita ko siya ulit.  

“This development is a priority for the Montenegro Holdings,” sabi ni Enzo, and his voice sent a bad kind of shiver through me. “Maglalaan tayo ng maraming oras at pondo rito. Ang team from whichever architectural company we end up with will work on this building throughout the entire project.”  

Nagkibit ako sa upuan.  

Baka hindi na magandang bagay kung mapili yung proposal namin.  

Pero hindi ako pwedeng mag-isip ng ganyan.  

Nawala yung focus ko, and napatingin ulit ako sa kanya.  

May weird feeling nung nagtagpo ulit yung tingin namin.  

One arm crossed over his chest, the other elbow resting on it, slowly rubbing his lower lip with his thumb back and forth.  

Yung lips na super familiar pa rin.  

Agad akong umiwas ng tingin.  

“You’ve added quite a few sustainability features that weren’t part of the original plan. Kaninong idea ang pagsama sa mga ‘to?”  

“Sustainability is Maris’ area of expertise. Siya ang—”  

“Is that so?” putol ni Enzo.  

Umupo ako nang restless while he looked at his notes before looking back at me with that questioning stare.  

“Can you explain why you made some of these choices, Maris? Magpapataas ito ng cost ng project.”  

Bakit ganyan yung tono niya?  

Blank for a second, pero mabilis akong nakabawi.  

“Sustainable hotel architecture might require a larger initial investment, pero alam ko alam niyo rin na better infrastructure means higher return on investment. Aside from things like low-flush toilets, water-saving faucets, and smart showers, yung systems na tinitingnan namin for this project include solar panels, water recovery systems, and HVAC systems that can adjust airflow, heating, and cooling depending on different factors.”  

Inayos ko yung notes in front of me.  

“Using your Cebu hotel as case study, yung estimates namin show na yung water recovery system will pay for itself in less than a year. And if we include solar panels in the hotel design, hindi lang siya makakatulong for your LEED Platinum certification, mababawasan din yung electricity consumption by up to fifty percent, and yung investment is expected to pay for itself in six to eight years.”  

“Interesting.”  

Sumandal siya sa upuan, eyes still locked on me.  

“Continue. Gusto kong kumbinsihin mo ako.”  

Bakit tila sinasadya niyang maghanap ng reason para tutulan ako?  

Before I could say something embarrassing, uminom muna ako ng water.  

“Opo, of course, Mr. Montenegro. These big investments will completely change how your hotels operate, reduce the environmental impact without sacrificing comfort. Magiging aligned din siya sa future of sustainable design and it will raise your sustainability ratings.”  

May drop of sweat na dumaloy down my chest from how intense he was staring.  

“Hotels that invest in sustainable practices usually have higher occupancy rates, happier guests, and higher revenue per room compared to those that don’t. So even if the initial investment looks expensive, confident ako na yung savings will cover the cost within a few years.”  

Tumango ang ilan around the table, pero hindi si Enzo.  

Hindi ko mabasa yung face niya.  

“Sige,” sabi niya after a moment, then he turned his attention to Miguel. “I think we’ve heard everything we need from your team. Someone will contact you once we’ve made a decision. Thanks for your time today.”  

Itinulak niya yung chair paatras and stood up.  

Sumunod yung mga kasamahan niya.  

Clear na tapos na yung meeting, so tumayo na rin kami. Inipon ko yung pen, notebook, and papers and tumalikod na para umalis, without daring to look back at him.  

Habang naglalakad kami papunta sa door, dumampi yung kamay ni Miguel sa back ko, and he leaned down to whisper in my ear.  

“Ang hirap basahin nung lalaking ‘yon. Wala akong idea kung okay ba ‘to or not.”  

Tumango ako.  

Nung makalampas na ako sa door, doon lang ako nangahas na lumingon sandali.  

Nakatingin pa rin sa amin si Enzo.  

Yung hard jaw and coldness in his eyes sent real fear straight to my heart.  

May bad feeling ako na yung “whatever happened between us” that night one month ago was coming back to bite me.  

And bite me hard.