2

MARIS

One month ago pa lang…

“You’re a pathetic, cowardly piece of shit, and I hate that I ever believed a word you said. You don’t deserve me, and you sure as hell don’t deserve another second of my time. Go find whatever screwed-up woman you think isn’t ‘too independent,’ because I’m done being the idiot who loved you, you snaky son of a bitch.”

Hindi naman talaga ako ganito kapag lasing.

Tumahimik ang buong bar, pero wala akong pakialam. Sobra na yung sakit na naramdaman ko kasi hiniwalayan ako ng boyfriend ko for the reason na masyado daw akong independent. Wala na akong energy left para harapin pa yung ibang gulo from other people.

“Uy, another drink naman. Empty na ’to eh.” Itinuro ko yung empty glass ko.

“Sa tingin ko, hindi na dapat ka pa uminom.” Itinaas ng bartender yung kilay niya.

“Huwag kang mag-alala, kaya ko naman yung ilang drinks—”

“Yung next na ibibigay mo sa kanya, tubig na.”

Narinig ko yung deep voice sa tabi ko and I turned to look at him. Mukhang super rich and well-dressed siya, parang yung mga A-list actors na nakikita mo sa TV and everywhere else.

“Ano ‘yun?” Sinikil ko. “Hindi kita kilala, so sure akong wala kang right na magdikta kung ano yung oorderin ko or kung gaano karami yung iinumin ko.”

Lumingon na siya nang fully toward me.

At nakakainis.

Napakagwapo niya.

Yung type of handsome na nakakalimutan mo for a second yung sasabihin mo.

Nakasuot siya ng dark-colored suit, sleeves rolled up so you could see those strong arms. Almost as black as my hair yung buhok niya, medyo messy, like he didn’t waste time fixing it perfectly.

Pero yung eyes niya yung talagang nag-catch ng attention ko.

Cold blue.

Sobrang intense yung stare niya na parang nakikita niya lahat ng nasa loob ko.

“Ang susunod na inumin mo ay parang babagsak sa’yo like a huge truck,” sabi niya. “Sinasabi ko ‘to because I know yung reason bakit bigla kang umiinom ng matapang na alak is because of some guy who just broke your heart.”

Tinitigan ko siya from head to toe.

“At every guy who’s looking at you right now is going to try to approach you and invite you, especially if you’re already too drunk to go home alone.” Tumigil siya sandali and raised his hands. “Pero sige, if you’re looking for a quick revenge through sex, go ahead, uminom ka pa.”

“Grabe ka naman,” insulto ko while drinking the water. “Akala ko masama na yung ugali ko kanina, pero mas worse ka pa. And second, hindi ako yung type of girl who does that.”

Kahit na maybe mas better pa ‘yon kaysa magpakalasing ako.

“Siguro dapat ay maging ganyan ka na lang.”

Lumingon ako sa kanya again. Nakakatulong yung usapan na ‘to para makalimot, and then that we were broken up, I really needed to forget.

“At bakit ko naman gagawin ‘yon?”

Inalis ko yung tingin ko sa kanya, pero after a few seconds napatingin na naman ako.

“Iniisip mo nga, ‘di ba?”

“Paano ka nakakasiguro?”

“Gusto mo bang malaman talaga?” tanong niya, before continuing. “Because you haven’t stood up and left yet. And if I didn’t know better, you might just throw your drink at me and walk away while saying all men are useless.”

Natawa ako.

“Siguro dapat nga.”

“Siguro nga,” sabi niya while taking another sip of his whiskey. “Pero before you do that, may itatanong ako. Ano ba talaga yung ginawa nung lalaking ‘yon?”

Tumingin ako sa glass ko.

“Sino?”

“Yung boyfriend mo.”

“Ex-boyfriend.”

“Obvious naman, ayoko lang mag-assume.”

Bumuntong-hininga ako and traced the rim of my glass with my finger.

“Sige. Katrabaho ko siya.”

Tumaas yung kilay niya.

“Alam ko. Not exactly a smart decision. Pero nag-intern ako doon during my last year in college, and doon kami nagkakilala. Nililigawan niya ako back then, and I was happy kasi gwapo siya.”

“At mas matanda sa’yo.”

Sinulyapan ko siya.

“Ganyan ba yung type of guy you like?”

May kunot na lumitaw between my brows while I slowly studied his face.

“Siguro.”

Something shifted in his eyes, pero mabilis niyang itinago.

Tumingin na lang ulit ako sa drink ko.

“Basically, after my internship ended, yayain ako ni Miguel na uminom. From simple conversation, naghalikan kami.”

“Halik lang?” tanong niya. “Ang bait naman pala ng ugali niyo.”

Tinitigan ko siya nang masama.

“Oo, just a kiss. Masarap yung feeling noon. Gusto ko siya, pero I was prioritizing finishing school, so that was our status for a while. After I graduated, tinanggap ko yung job offer sa company. When I started, he was temporarily working in our Singapore office, pero not long after he came back, naging official na kami.”

“Gaano na kayo katagal?”

“Three months.”

Tumaas na naman yung kilay niya.

“Kaya pala three months lang and tapos na yung napakagandang relationship niyo?”

“Hindi ko sinabing napakaganda.”

“So meaning boring yung lalaking ‘yon.”

“Hindi ko rin sinabi ‘yon.”

Umiling ako and ended up laughing even if I didn’t want to.

Slight smile appeared on his face.

“Ano ba talaga yung actual reason?”

Nawala yung smile ko.

Tinitigan ko yung water in front of me.

“Sabi niya hindi na daw kami compatible.”

“Parang standard reason lang naman.”

Napatawa ako nang walang saya.

“Siguro nga. Wala namang special about me or my story.”

Tinitigan niya ako from head to toe.

“Hindi ako naniniwala doon.”

Tumingala ako sa kanya.

Yung eyes niya locked on me, and the way he said it made it hard to breathe for a second.

“Kaya ano na yung plan mo ngayon?” tanong niya.

“Wala naman siguro.” Uminom ako ulit ng water. “Maganda yung job ko, and I like the company I’m working for, so hindi naman ako aalis. Ayoko lang talaga yung feeling ko right now.”

Tinitigan ko yung glass.

“Ayokong isipin na may nagawa akong mali. Na sana sinubukan ko pang pagbutihin. Na sana kung…”

Naputol yung sinasabi ko.

Tinitigan niya ako for a moment.

“At hindi mo pa rin alam exactly bakit ka niya hiniwalayan?”

Umiling ako.

“Hindi talaga.”

“Ano ba talaga yung exact words niya?”

Nag-hesitate ako.

Then biglang bumalik yung galit.

“Sabi niya masyado daw akong independent.”

Nagulat yung stranger and blinked.

“Masyadong independent?”

“Sabi niya kasi sanay akong gawin lahat on my own. May sarili akong trabaho, sarili kong pera, sarili kong life.” Napangisi ako. “Kaya pala problema daw ‘yon.”

Tinitigan niya ako for a second.

“Iyon lang yung reason niya?”

“Iyon mismo yung sinabi niya.”

Dahan-dahan siyang umiling.

“Parang walang kwentang lalaki naman yata ‘yon.”

Napatawa ako.

“Iyan din yung sinasabi ko sa sarili ko for the past two hours.”

Sumandal siya and kept looking at me.

“Kaya ano na yung next?”

“Papasok ako sa work bukas. Magpapanggap na okay lang ako. Iiwasan ko si Miguel as much as possible. And eventually, titigil na rin ako sa pag-iisip kung ano ba talaga yung mali sakin.”

“Wala namang mali sa’yo.”

Napakadali ng pagkakasabi niya kaya napatingin ako.

Hindi siya umiiwas ng tingin.

Then slowly his gaze slid down my body before returning to my face.

“Kaya sa tingin ko, huwag mo na lang isipin yung revenge through sex.”

Kumurap ako.

“Talaga ba?”

“Sa tingin ko, dapat mong gawin yung bagay na talagang makakapagpalimot sa kanya.”

Bumilis yung tibok ng puso ko.

“At ano ba talaga yung suggestion mo?”

Dahan-dahan ngumiti yung labi niya. “Sa tingin ko, dapat mong subukan yung kind of sex na sadyang napakasarap and tatagal for hours. And sa tingin ko, ako yung kasama mo.”

Bumilis lalo yung heart rate ko.

“Ba-Bakit ikaw?” tanong ko.

Inilapit niya yung face niya closer, and I caught the scent of his cologne—super nice sandalwood smell.

“Because I guarantee I’ll make it really good for you. Because I think we both need to forget tonight. And because from the moment I sat beside you, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about taking that dress off you.”

Napakislot ako sa upuan from what I heard, and I actually felt a spark of life again. Inayos ko yung hair behind my ear and tried to calm down.

“Grabe ka naman, diretsahan ka talagang magsalita.”

“Kaya ibig sabihin…”

Tumahimik ako for a bit.

“Sa totoo lang, nagbago na yung isip ko.”

May slight disappointment that showed on his face, and I smirked. Lumapit ako closer.

“Hindi ko na iisipin yung consequences nito.”

“Ano ba yung ibig mong sabihin…”

“Ang ibig kong sabihin, oo.” Lumapit pa ako. “Gawin na natin yung sinabi mong napakasarap na sex.”