"Fuck you! Fuck you, Jared!"
"Please, please, Ellyn! Makinig ka naman sa akin!"
"No! Fuck you!"
Pinagtulakan-tulakan ko siya palayo sa akin sa harap ng restaurant kung saan sana kami magde date.
Oo, sana. Until I found out that he is already at the restaurant with a damn woman in a red dress, lipstick and stilettos na hindi ko kilala! And they are talking to each other na akala mo magkakilala na sila for a long time!
Habang nag uusap pa sila across from each other, they're smiling widely. Kulang na lang maging perlas mga ngipin nila at pwede ng ibenta ng milyones sa market!
Gosh, how can I be so stupid?!
"Teka lang, Ellyn! Saglit lang!" He pulled me by my elbow habang patalikod na ako sa kanya.
Aba namang lalaking 'to! May gana pang humawak sa akin!SLAP!
"What the fuck, Ellyn?!" he shouted habang hawak hawak ngayon ang namamaga ni yang kaliwang pisngi sa kakasampal ko sa kanya.
Deserve. Pero hindi pa iyon sapat para sa pag chi cheat na nakita ko kanina.
"Don't you dare touch me, Jared!" Dinuro-duro ko siya at nanlalaki ang mga mata ko. "Wala kang karapatan para hawakan mo pa ako!"
"Ellyn, it's just a mistake—"
"Mistake?" I scoffed, rolling my eyes to this madness. Napameywang ako habang nakatingin ng matalim sa mga nagpapamakaawa niyang mata. "Tinatawag mong 'mistake' ang nakita ko kanina? You gotta be fucking kidding me, Jared."
Ramdam na ramdam ko ang pagkakulo ng dugo ko sa lalaking 'to. We have been a couple for what? Almost two years na. Ever since my sister introduced me to Jared, I thought he was the one for me. Kasi mabait eh, malinis sa katawan, matalino, academic achiever, maporma. All you could count on an ideal man would be onto him.
Pero sinira niya lahat nang 'yon dahil sa kagaguhan na 'mistake' niya.
"Hindi 'yon mistake. Tinatawag mong mistake ang babaeng nasa restaurant? Anong sasabihin mo sa akin? That she's your sister? A cousin? Edi sana sinabi mo sa akin kung may kasama ka, 'di ba? 'Cause you always do that, pero ala diba? Ala kang sinasabi!"
"Ellyn, I... I'm sorry."
Nang marinig ko ang katagang iyon, parang naguho mundo ko.
"Sorry...?" pag-uulit ko sa kanya ng sinabi at napatitig ako sa kanya. Ilang minuto, napatawa na lang ako. "Sorry? Nag-so-sorry ka? Iyon lang? Jared, we've been a couple for two fucking years!" sigaw ko sa kanya nang may galit.
I don't care if may mga tao sa paligid namin or what. I just need to let this all out before I fucking left this cheater out of my heart.
"May gana ka pang mag-sorry? So, it's true? Kaya ka nag-so-sorry dahil you cheated? Sa akin?" I pulled my face upwards as I tried not to cry.
Fuck it. Hindi niya deserve ang tears na 'to.
"Ellyn, love—"
"DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME LOVE!" sigaw ko nang malakas sa kanya. I saw him flinched. "How dare you still call me love after what you have done?" My voice cracked. "Ang kapal rin ng mukha mo eh 'no? Sige nga, sabihin mo sa akin." Tinuro ko ang pintuan ng restaurant. "Sino iyong babaeng 'yon?" nanghihina kong banggit.
"Ellyn, I—”
"SINO 'YON?!" Hindi ko na mapigilan ang tulong lumuha sa mga mata ko. "Sino iyong babaeng 'yon, Jared? SABIHIN MO SA AKIN ANG TOTOO!"
Tumitig lang siya sa akin na tila natatakot sa bigla kong pagsigaw. Until he spoke and explained everything.
"She's a classmate from when I was studying pharmacy in Baguio, Ellyn. We've been talking for six months already."
You mean dating? Parang lahat nang mga aalala kasama siya naglaho na lang bigla bigla. Lahat ng mga pangako, regalo, pag-aalala, pagmamahal—nawala.
My mouth opened, then closed. Hindi ko alam ang masasabi ko. It hurts. It fucking hurts. But I have to face it.
And so then, I asked, "Mahal mo ba siya, Jared?"
"What?"
"Mahal mo ba siya, Jared?" pag-uulit ko.
He felt hesitant. I could see it in his eyes, but then, he answered. "I love her, Ellyn. Minahal ko na siya kesa sa'yo."
Ouch. That hurt.
"Natulugan niya ako sa acads nung time na wala ka sa tabi ko. She is on my side every time I needed help. Kaya ako nakapasa sa mga exams ko. It is all because of her support."
That's strike two of the hurt.
"If only you are there..."
Okay, that's third. Hindi ko na 'to kaya.
"Wala ako doon kasi obviously, LDR tayo. I can't go there because I have studies rin dito! Naroon naman ako, diba, Jared? I may not be there physically but I was still trying to make an effort para maramdaman mo na nandoon pa ako sa tabi mo, to cheer you up. But you never, ever appreciated my efforts, don't you?"
"I appreciated it, Ellyn! I really do! I appreciate it so much—"
"That you cheated on me?" pagdagdag ko at tumawa. "Alam mo, Jared. Don't defend yourself anymore because I'm breaking up with you."
"Ellyn, please..." Lumuhod siya sa harapan ko nang nagluluha ang mga mata habang tina-try niya akong i-reach.
But I took a step back and just stared at him blankly.
His apologies only made him look more pitiful than ever. His actions never match any of his words. It felt like I was being lied to all this time.
Tsk.
"Don't beg to me, Jared. Nakakahiya sa mahal mo. You're kneeling down on a woman that you cheated on? Sabi mo siya ang tumutulong sa'yo? Then, go with your second love. Sa kanyang sa kanya ka na, but remember this, Jared Sarmiento, I don't go back on exes. And I will never, ever be going back to you.”"
I turned my back on him, leaving him still on his knees, and without turning back, I wiped my undeserving tears away.
I really deserve better for myself.
A cheater will always be a cheater. Let karma pave its way to his life once and for all.
###
“Let’s talk.” “Ayoko nga,” agad kong tanggi sa kanya at yumakap kay Red. “Tignan mo busy kami ng hubby ko eh.” “I know your relationship is fake. Cut the act, Ellyn,” sabi niya. Wow, sino siya para sabihan ako? Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay. “Excuse me? This is not an act. Boyfriend ko talaga si Red.” Tumawa si Jared. “Talaga? Eh, bagong transferee nga lang siya eh. And did you know who he fucking is? He’s my cousin. Do you know what that means?” “Yes. It means I can still get your last name. Hindi nga lang galing na sa’yo,” I retorted back. There are many oohs and positive cheers being heard all around the cafeteria. Mas lalo kong nakikita na nati-trigger na si Jared. Lumingon siya kay Red. “Bro, are you fucking kidding me? You know she’s my ex. Why would you have a relationship with her? You know what happened to us.” “Yeah, I know.” Naramdaman ko ang kamay niya ay humaplos sa beywang ko. “I know what you really did to her.” Another oohs ang narinig namin mula sa ka
“Are you ready?”Napalingon ako kay Red habang nakatayo kami sa labas ng main building. Hawak-hawak ko pa rin ang strap ng bag ko habang pinipigilan ang mabilis na pagtibok ng puso ko.Itong pakulo niya na ‘to, it’s on another level, okay? Kinakabahan ako.Ito na ‘yong araw na pag-uusapan ng buong campus ang ‘relasyon’ namin.Nakangisi si Red habang inaayos ang suot niyang varsity jacket. Nagbago na siya bigla uli ng outfit ah. “Don’t be nervous.”“I’m not,” I lied while whispering.He chuckled. “I’m sure you are, don’t lie. Besides, ito naman ang goal natin. You want to see my cousin’s reaction, right?” I nodded. “Then, let’s do it.”Napatingin ako sa kanya. Red was confident. He had this boyish charm and relaxed posture na parang wala lang lahat sa kanya. Pero sa likod ng confidence niyang ‘yon, ramdam kong handa siyang sumuporta sa plano ko—kahit pa alam naming pareho na delikado ‘to.“Ready?” he asked, this time offering his hand to me.Huminga ako nang malalim. “Let’s do this.”
The next morning, nag-meet kami sa library and damn, I think I am in the worse situation than I thought.Red showed up with glasses. Reading glasses. Para siyang isang main character sa isang drama. Like the male lead author sa Chicago Typewriter. Yep. The vibe is like that right now. And the fact that he's even holding a mystery book tucked between his right now doesn't even make my situation much better.“Stop looking at me like that,” sabi niya habang paupo sa tabing upuan ko.“I can’t help it. You’re so... theatrical," pagsabi ko ng totoo habang nakatitig pa rin sa kanya.He smirked. “Thanks." Nakita ang mga mata niya nang may tinignan sa likod ko at mas lalong lumapad ang ngiti niya. "Just wait. The show will begin in three... two...”Bigla siyang nag-lean in sa upuan at nilagay ang braso sa mga balikat ko. My heart skipped a beat again.“You smell like strawberries,” he said, not even whispering.I almost snorted. “You’re ridiculous. I'm not."“You love it,” he shot back, eyes t
Just before the exact time na magkita kami, I already saw Red there in the hallway near the cafeteria, leaning against the wall na akala mo ba mga artistang napo-pose for ad campaigns. This time, his outfit is different. No hoodie and jeans. Naka suot siya ngayon ng isang malinis na puting polo, gray trousers, and even his shoes are suspiciously bright clean as if ni-wax pa niya 'yon bago siya makarating dito.Nang makita niya ako, taas-baba niya akong tinignan at marahan na ngumiti. “Right on time.”“Told you na seryoso ako tungkol dito,” sabi ko sa kanya, keeping my cool.“Good.” Humakbang siya papalapit sa akin. “Ready for our first scene?”Tumango ako bilang pag-a-agree.Suddenly, he reached out—without warning—and gently tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. His fingers brushed my cheek, and I swear parang biglang humiwalay ang kaluluwa ko sa katawan ko dahil sa ginawa niya.“Smile,” bulong niya. “Here comes your ex.”Before ko pa ma-process ang nasabi niya, bigla na lang may pu
Kinabukasan, naghintay ako sa may gym kung saan madalas mag-break si Red. Nakatayo siya sa pader, umiinom ng iced coffee habang nagso-scroll lang naman ng cellphone.Here goes nothing."Hi," I said.Red looked up, eyes filled with recognition as he saw me. "Ellyn, right?"He remembers me."Yeah. Do you have a minute?"He slid his phone into his pocket. "Sure."I motioned toward the empty bench near the gym doors. He followed."I'm going to be honest," I began, fiddling with my fingers. "This will probably sound crazy."He gave a small chuckle. "I like crazy."I blinked. "Okay... good. So, here it is. I want to ask you for a favor."He tilted his head. "Go on."I swallowed hard. "I want to fake a relationship with you.”Silence.Red blinked slowly. "Okay. That's not what I was expecting.""I know, I know," I said quickly. "But just hear me out."He raised a brow. "I'm listening."I licked my lips, steadying my voice. "I just broke up with Jared. I'm sure you know what happened."He nod
The next day, I decided to go back to school.Pagpasok ko pa lang sa campus, ramdam ko agad ang mga matang nakatingin sa akin. Sa loob-loob ko, I knew some of them knew what happened. Others probably just saw Jared's posts with the red-dress girl. In this school, issues spread like wildfire, famous person ka man o hindi.Tumango lang ako sa mga kaibigan ko, but I kept walking straight toward the building. I won't let them see me falter. Kung may makikita silang Ellyn ngayon, it will be someone fiercer, someone colder, and someone they can't mess with.Then, it happened.I was about to turn sa hallway pa-labas ng admin office when I accidentally bumped into someone. Tumama ang balikat ko sa matitipunong dibdib ng isang lalaki."Sorry-" sabay lingon ko pataas.Damn.Tall. Fair-skinned. Deep brown eyes. Messy black hair. He was wearing the school uniform like it was made for him—neat, crisp, and with a loosened tie that screamed effortless charm."No worries," he said casually, then smil
Akala ko kapag iniwan mo na ang taong nanakit sa'yo, gagaan na ang pakiramdam mo nang ganon ganon na lang.Pero hindi pala.It's been three days since I walked out on Jared, and yet here I am-nakahiga pa rin sa kama, walang gana kumain, and feeling like trash. Nakatingin lang ako sa kisame habang paulit-ulit na tumutugtog sa utak ko ang sinabi niya."I love her, Ellyn. Minahal ko na siya kesa sa'yo."Bullshit.Pumikit ako at pilit na pinipigilan ang pagbagsak ng luha sa mga mata ko. I shouldn't cry. I told myself that I wouldn't. Pero bakit ganito? Bakit parang ako pa rin ang talo?My phone buzzed for the fourth time today. I ignored it, but curiosity got the best of me. Hinila ko ang kumot pababa, bumangon, at tinignan kung sino ang nag-message.[12 messages from Jared]Delete.Nanginginig ang daliri ko pero pinilit kong pindutin ang delete. I cannot let myself fall into that trap again. I deserve better. And I won't let this man have access to me again.Bigla namang nag-pop up ang m
"Fuck you! Fuck you, Jared!""Please, please, Ellyn! Makinig ka naman sa akin!" "No! Fuck you!"Pinagtulakan-tulakan ko siya palayo sa akin sa harap ng restaurant kung saan sana kami magde date.Oo, sana. Until I found out that he is already at the restaurant with a damn woman in a red dress, lipstick and stilettos na hindi ko kilala! And they are talking to each other na akala mo magkakilala na sila for a long time!Habang nag uusap pa sila across from each other, they're smiling widely. Kulang na lang maging perlas mga ngipin nila at pwede ng ibenta ng milyones sa market!Gosh, how can I be so stupid?!"Teka lang, Ellyn! Saglit lang!" He pulled me by my elbow habang patalikod na ako sa kanya.Aba namang lalaking 'to! May gana pang humawak sa akin!SLAP!"What the fuck, Ellyn?!" he shouted habang hawak hawak ngayon ang namamaga ni yang kaliwang pisngi sa kakasampal ko sa kanya.Deserve. Pero hindi pa iyon sapat para sa pag chi cheat na nakita ko kanina."Don't you dare touch me, Jar