CHAPTER 1

"Fuck you! Fuck you, Jared!"

"Please, please, Ellyn! Makinig ka naman sa akin!"

 "No! Fuck you!"

Pinagtulakan-tulakan ko siya palayo sa akin sa harap ng restaurant kung saan sana kami magde date.

Oo, sana. Until I found out that he is already at the restaurant with a damn woman in a red dress, lipstick and stilettos na hindi ko kilala! And they are talking to each other na akala mo magkakilala na sila for a long time!

Habang nag uusap pa sila across from each other, they're smiling widely. Kulang na lang maging perlas mga ngipin nila at pwede ng ibenta ng milyones sa market!

Gosh, how can I be so stupid?!

"Teka lang, Ellyn! Saglit lang!" He pulled me by my elbow habang patalikod na ako sa kanya.

Aba namang lalaking 'to! May gana pang humawak sa akin!

SLAP!

"What the fuck, Ellyn?!" he shouted habang hawak hawak ngayon ang namamaga ni yang kaliwang pisngi sa kakasampal ko sa kanya.

Deserve. Pero hindi pa iyon sapat para sa pag chi cheat na nakita ko kanina.

"Don't you dare touch me, Jared!" Dinuro-duro ko siya at nanlalaki ang mga mata ko. "Wala kang karapatan para hawakan mo pa ako!"

"Ellyn, it's just a mistake—"

"Mistake?" I scoffed, rolling my eyes to this madness. Napameywang ako habang nakatingin ng matalim sa mga nagpapamakaawa niyang mata. "Tinatawag mong 'mistake' ang nakita ko kanina? You gotta be fucking kidding me, Jared."

Ramdam na ramdam ko ang pagkakulo ng dugo ko sa lalaking 'to. We have been a couple for what? Almost two years na. Ever since my sister introduced me to Jared, I thought he was the one for me. Kasi mabait eh, malinis sa katawan, matalino, academic achiever, maporma. All you could count on an ideal man would be onto him.

Pero sinira niya lahat nang 'yon dahil sa kagaguhan na 'mistake' niya.

"Hindi 'yon mistake. Tinatawag mong mistake ang babaeng nasa restaurant? Anong sasabihin mo sa akin? That she's your sister? A cousin? Edi sana sinabi mo sa akin kung may kasama ka, 'di ba? 'Cause you always do that, pero ala diba? Ala kang sinasabi!"

"Ellyn, I... I'm sorry."

Nang marinig ko ang katagang iyon, parang naguho mundo ko.

"Sorry...?" pag-uulit ko sa kanya ng sinabi at napatitig ako sa kanya. Ilang minuto, napatawa na lang ako. "Sorry? Nag-so-sorry ka? Iyon lang? Jared, we've been a couple for two fucking years!" sigaw ko sa kanya nang may galit.

I don't care if may mga tao sa paligid namin or what. I just need to let this all out before I fucking left this cheater out of my heart.

"May gana ka pang mag-sorry? So, it's true? Kaya ka nag-so-sorry dahil you cheated? Sa akin?" I pulled my face upwards as I tried not to cry.

Fuck it. Hindi niya deserve ang tears na 'to.

"Ellyn, love—"

"DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME LOVE!" sigaw ko nang malakas sa kanya. I saw him flinched. "How dare you still call me love after what you have done?" My voice cracked. "Ang kapal rin ng mukha mo eh 'no? Sige nga, sabihin mo sa akin." Tinuro ko ang pintuan ng restaurant. "Sino iyong babaeng 'yon?" nanghihina kong banggit.

"Ellyn, I—”

"SINO 'YON?!" Hindi ko na mapigilan ang tulong lumuha sa mga mata ko. "Sino iyong babaeng 'yon, Jared? SABIHIN MO SA AKIN ANG TOTOO!"

Tumitig lang siya sa akin na tila natatakot sa bigla kong pagsigaw. Until he spoke and explained everything.

"She's a classmate from when I was studying pharmacy in Baguio, Ellyn. We've been talking for six months already."

You mean dating? Parang lahat nang mga aalala kasama siya naglaho na lang bigla bigla. Lahat ng mga pangako, regalo, pag-aalala, pagmamahal—nawala.

My mouth opened, then closed. Hindi ko alam ang masasabi ko. It hurts. It fucking hurts. But I have to face it.

And so then, I asked, "Mahal mo ba siya, Jared?"

"What?"

"Mahal mo ba siya, Jared?" pag-uulit ko.

He felt hesitant. I could see it in his eyes, but then, he answered. "I love her, Ellyn. Minahal ko na siya kesa sa'yo."

Ouch. That hurt.

"Natulugan niya ako sa acads nung time na wala ka sa tabi ko. She is on my side every time I needed help. Kaya ako nakapasa sa mga exams ko. It is all because of her support."

That's strike two of the hurt.

"If only you are there..."

Okay, that's third. Hindi ko na 'to kaya.

"Wala ako doon kasi obviously, LDR tayo. I can't go there because I have studies rin dito! Naroon naman ako, diba, Jared? I may not be there physically but I was still trying to make an effort para maramdaman mo na nandoon pa ako sa tabi mo, to cheer you up. But you never, ever appreciated my efforts, don't you?"

"I appreciated it, Ellyn! I really do! I appreciate it so much—"

"That you cheated on me?" pagdagdag ko at tumawa. "Alam mo, Jared. Don't defend yourself anymore because I'm breaking up with you."

"Ellyn, please..." Lumuhod siya sa harapan ko nang nagluluha ang mga mata habang tina-try niya akong i-reach.

But I took a step back and just stared at him blankly.

His apologies only made him look more pitiful than ever. His actions never match any of his words. It felt like I was being lied to all this time.

Tsk.

"Don't beg to me, Jared. Nakakahiya sa mahal mo. You're kneeling down on a woman that you cheated on? Sabi mo siya ang tumutulong sa'yo? Then, go with your second love. Sa kanyang sa kanya ka na, but remember this, Jared Sarmiento, I don't go back on exes. And I will never, ever be going back to you.”"

I turned my back on him, leaving him still on his knees, and without turning back, I wiped my undeserving tears away.

I really deserve better for myself.

A cheater will always be a cheater. Let karma pave its way to his life once and for all.

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