๋ก๊ทธ์ธ๊ณต์
CHAPTER 138
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๋ฐ์ดํธ:
2024-05-17 19:09:43
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A vow of hateย ย ย CHAPTER 139
The next couple of days passed in a monotony of repeated moments. Christian was monitored closely, his vitals checked, tests done, Dr Fletcher coming and going. I got to know the team of hardworking, dedicated nurses. I came and went, staying longer than I was supposed to, but they turned a blind eye to the fact that I stood beside Christianโs bed, holding his hand and talking for hours on end. I stepped out of the way when needed, but otherwise, I was by his side. I had no idea if it was because he pretty much owned the hospital and was their boss or if it was because they just felt sorry for me, but whatever it was, it worked in my favour. Grandpa and Sarah came in briefly. Sarah had cried at the sight of her son hooked up to so many machines, and they both insisted on my taking a quick break. Grandpa had arranged a place for me to shower and change, and I called Valerie everytime. Tina stayed with her when Grandpa and Sarah were here, or Mia stepped in if needed. It was a great com
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2024-05-17A vow of hateย ย ย CHAPTER 140
I sat, staring at the cold cup of coffee in front of me. My half-eaten sandwich was pushed aside. It tasted like dust, and I had no appetite. Despite what Alan had advised, I couldnโt eat. I would try later. Alanโs words kept running through my head. Christianโs recoveryโthe difficulties we faced. The way our life together would change. Everything I knew, everything that was us, wouldnโt exist anymore. At least not right awayโin fact, perhaps never.It depended on what happened when Christian woke up. If his mind was affected. If he was still Christianโor an altered version of the man I loved. I rubbed a weary hand over my face, one thing certain in my mind. Whatever happened, whatever the result was, I still loved him. I would always love him, and somehow, we would find our way through all of this together.I had texted Grandpa, Mia and Sarah to let them know Christian was being moved and that I would send the information as soon as I had it. They responded with encouraging wor
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2024-05-18A vow of hateย ย ย CHAPTER 141
As he promised, Maddox didnโt keep me from the hospital for long. We returned as soon as I got a message saying Christian had been moved. Maddox followed me into his new room, a silent companion, there to support me. I went directly to the side of the bed. There were still machines whirring and beeping away, but there were fewer of them. Christian had obviously been given a sponge bath, his hair damp around his ears where they had wiped with the wet cloth. The room was large and bright with two comfortable-looking chairs and even a small sofa. The usual kind of hospital bathroom was in the corner, and the walls the same green, but it was private and had a window that looked over the street.I cupped Christianโs cheek. โHello, my darling. I was gone for a while, but Iโm back. You look so much better. And look who I found!โMaddox stood at the end of the bed, his hands wrapped around the metal frame. โHey, Christianโs,โ he stated easily, although I saw the stress around his eyes. โDonโt
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2024-05-19A vow of hateย ย ย CHAPTER 142
I carried her inside, setting her carefully on my hip while she showed Sarah her lamb, and I inhaled the scent of her hair. The feel of my baby snuggled into my chest made tears sting my eyes, and I had to bow my head to hide them from her. Valerie was still a baby, and she was still too perceptive not to notice. โWhy you cry, Mommy?โ โI missed you,โ I sniffed. She looked confused. โI was wight hewe.โ I forced a smile, brushing away the wetness under my eyes. โI know. How silly of Mommy.โ Sarah cupped my cheek affectionately. โI have her dinner ready. I knew youโd want to feed her. Go upstairs with her, and Iโll bring it. You have a little time with her.โโThank you,โ I murmured, not trusting myself to say much else right now. My emotions were too raw. Sarah, being Sarah, understood. โOf course, dear girl.โ Upstairs, I settled in the nursery they had set up for Valerie. Valerie had spent weekends with her grandmother in the past, so it made sense
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2024-05-20A vow of hateย ย ย CHAPTER 143
My anger didnโt abate. It grew. For six days, it simmered and twisted in my gut. Six days as I waited by my husbandโs bed for him to wake up. To open his dark brown eyes and look at me. Smile. Frown. Groan. Anything.The medical staff told me to be patient. To remain positive. Both emotions were slowly draining from me. For six days, he remained trapped in a world beyond me. Where I couldnโt reach him. His chest fell and rose with his breathing. The full oxygen mask had been replaced by cannulas, his breathing tube gone. Thick stubble grew on his face, hiding some of the cuts. His bruises were changing, fading from black and blue to yellow and purple. His expression was peaceful, his body unmoving and unresponsive. When we were alone, I wept, begging and pleading with him to wake up. When other people were around, I remained calm, locking down my emotions, putting on a strong, brave, positive face, saying he would wake soon. Be with us.Still, he slept.Inside, I despaired.And b
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2024-05-21A vow of hateย ย ย CHAPTER 144
I was stunned by Miaโs words. โI think if Valerie saw him, it would help, not hurt. And I think you need to sort your priorities.โ The anger, the bitterness I had been swallowing down exploded, and I lost it. โMy priorities? Stop telling me what to do!โ I screamed, all rational thought gone. โI am sick of being told what to do and where to go! Leave me alone!โ โNo.โ I crossed the room and pushed at her chest. โI donโt want to go see Valerie. I don't want to sleep.โ I pushed again. โI donโt want to bring Valerie here. Iโm tired of eating when I donโt want to. Iโm tired of taking your goddamn orders!โ She remained in place, her feet firmly planted on the linoleum. โToo bad.โ โFuck you, Mia Walker! Iโm not leaving this hospital again until my husband wakes up!โ โHeโs not just your husband, Hazel! Have you even thought about that? Do you realize it? Youโre not the only one whoโs hurt. Youโre not the only one whoโs scared and in pain! Heโs my brothe
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2024-05-21A vow of hateย ย ย CHAPTER 145
Valerie clutched my hand tight as I bent low to talk to her. โRemember what I said, okay? Daddy is only asleep.โ She bobbed her head. โHe knows I dere.โ โYes.โ โHow, Mommy?โ Maddox crouched beside me. โLike in dreams, Valerie. Heโll know youโre there and he can hear you, but with the medicine he takes, he canโt talk back right now. Heโll remember when he wakes up soon.โ Her little brow furrowed, she twisted her lips, then nodded. โI leave him my Lambie. He know dat I dere.โ Maddox ruffled her hair. โGood plan. He probably needs something to cuddle. Iโll take a picture and show him when he wakes up.โ He stood, his lips quirking. โYou are so bad,โ I muttered. โI am paying him back for the Oscar the Grouch stunt when I was recovering. Tit for tat, Hazel.โ Christian would expect no less. I hesitated pushing open the door to Christianโs room. I had discussed this with Sarah and Grandpa as well as Christianโs doctor, who made all the arrangement
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2024-05-21A vow of hateย ย ย CHAPTER 146
The next three days were filled with tension and anticipation. There were small signs that Christian was waking up. The flutter of his eyelidsโas quick as a hummingbirdโs wingsโso fast you would miss it if you werenโt looking. The tremor in a finger. The twitch of his arm. A quiet sound deep in his throatโsomething between a sigh and a groan.Each action made me stiffen with anxiety and yearn with hope. It made me ache with the need for the next sign. I didnโt leave his side, even sleeping with my fingers interlocked with his. I rushed to the bathroom when needed, swallowed the food that appeared, and raced through the fastest showers I ever had in my life, returning with wet hair and the same determination in my heart. I read to him. Talked endlessly. Played recordings of Valerie singing and nattering away that Sarah sent me. I stretched and bent his limbs the way Colin had shown meโeasy movements to help his muscles stay active. I tried desperately not to get upset at the dead weigh
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2024-05-22
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A vow of hateย ย ย EPILOGUE
CHRISTIAN & HAZEL I chuckled as the doctor squirted the gel on Hazelโs tummy, making her squirm. Hazel always reacted to the cold. I kissed her and watched as the wand moved back and forth, and the image became clearer. โThereโs your baby.โ The doctor, Suzanne smiled, clicking and measuring. I held my breath as she turned on the sound, and I heard the heartbeat. The odd noise filled the room, the fast, steady sound like music to my ears. โYouโre sure you want to know the sex?โ โYes!โ Hazel and I exclaimed. โItโs a girl,โ Suzanne announced. I laughed. โIโm surrounded. My own little harem.โ Hazelโs eyes were focused on the screen. She tilted her head, looking confused. โIt all looks goodโฆโ Suzanneโs voice trailed off. I frowned at the subtle change in the noise. It was faster, like an echo of itself, the strumming continuous. โWell, look whoโs been hiding,โ Suzanne mused and glanced over at us. She grinned and winked at me. โYou did good, Christian.โ She peered at the screen in
A vow of hateย ย ย CHAPTER 169
HAZELI crawled into bed with Christian, snuggled into his side, and rested my head on his chest. He groaned as he shifted.โAre you all right?โ I asked, worried that I had hurt him.He nodded. โColin warned me that getting the sensation back in my legs was going to hurt. Heโs fucking right.โBetween rushing after Valerie, walking for everyone, moving around the house with his walker, and sitting on Valerieโs bed as he read to her for over an hour, I knew he was exhausted. But when I asked if he was ready to sleep, he said he wasnโt. I felt the same way too. Mentally, I was still wide awake. โDo you want some pain killers?โโNo. As weird as it sounds, I want to feel it. I never thought I would get to this point, so aches and all, Iโm going to go with it.โI laughed softly. โYouโre right, Christian. You are weird.โHe dragged her up his chest,causing a little gasp of surprise to escape me.โYou wanna help me forget about the aches, Hazel?โ he murmured in my ear, biting my lobe. โMake m
A vow of hateย ย ย CHAPTER 168
The room around me buzzed with activity. Voices, people moving, talking to me, trying to get my attention. I held my breath, scared that if I even so much as breathed, I would miss something important.My focus was on one thing. The doctor examining Valerie. I had insisted, and finally Hazel relented, seeing how upset I was about her. My wife glanced up, smiling as she lifted Valerie to her shoulder. She tilted her chin, letting me know everything was okay. A fact that she was certain of, but I needed to be sure. She handed Valerie over to me and escorted the doctor out and I relaxed, pressing a kiss to my daughterโs head. She looked up, wrinkling her nose.โHi, Daddy.โ โHey, baby girl.โ She patted my hand. โBoo-boo better,โ she cooed. โGood.โ โYeah, Daddy feels better.โ I brushed a curl off her face. โHow did you know?โ She pushed on my cheek with her tiny finger. โYou Daddy again. You smile.โ I dropped my head, pressing kisses all over her sweet little fa
A vow of hateย ย ย CHAPTER 167
I had never tried to comfort a person still caught between being a young man and a grown-ass adult. I had never reached out and been the role model.It was another lesson I was learning.Dennis was emotional. Filled with apologies. Begging for forgiveness. Once I broke through his stuttering words and barely held-back sobs, I set him straight.โWhat happened was not your fault. You didnโt put me in this wheelchair, Dennis. None of it is your doing. You need to stop blaming yourself.โโI canโt.โโYou can. Get some help. Iโll ask Randy to take you on. He is an amazing person to help you sort things out and get your head straight.โ I barked out a laugh. โIf he can handle my shit, he can help you.โโBut heโs here.โโYes,โ I agreed. โWhich is where you need to be. You have a life waiting here for you, Dennis. A job youโre good at. Friends. Family.โ I huffed out a breath. โDonโt let that day define you. Move past it.โโThe guilt,โ he said quietly. โIt holds me hostage. That Iโm walking arou
A vow of hateย ย ย CHAPTER 166
I grabbed her hips, guiding her. Pushing her up and pulling her back down. She sobbed my name, her back arching as her release washed through her. I watched as she lost herself in the moment. I had forgotten how beautiful she was in her release. The way her entire frame shuddered. How she bit her lip and lowered her chin as if sinking into the feeling. The breathiness of my name falling from her lips. And how it felt when her muscles fluttered, tightened around me, taking all I hadโgiving me so much more.My body strained, the urge to thrust and grind against her eclipsing everything else. An orgasm hit me, obliterating everything in its path. I saw stars, the ecstasy was so great. I opened my mouth in a soundless scream, and somewhere, deep inside, I felt a flex, the pinching of muscles not used for so long now gripping, then vanishing as fast as they had engaged. A long, agonized sound escaped as my entire being surrendered. The pain, the pleasure, the sweet torture of it all.Hazel
A vow of hateย ย ย CHAPTER 165
CHRISTIANThe taste and feel of my wife chased away the last lingering remnants of my dream. Hazel wasnโt walking away. She was right here, with me, in my arms.Right where she should be.I kissed her deeply, seeking out her tongue with mine, stroking hard and deep. Reclaiming her mouth. Reclaiming her. I yanked her tight to my chest, pulling off the towel she had draped around her body. I pushed down the blanket that covered me, needing to feel her. I dragged her over my lap, groaning at the feel of her weight pressing down on me. Still kissing her, I slid my hands over her silken thighs, parting them and settling her so she straddled me.She pulled back, gasping. โIs this okay?โโFucking yes, itโs okay.โ I pressed my mouth to her neck, licking up the damp, elegant column of her throat. โItโs fucking perfect.โ I murmured. โYouโre so perfect for me, Haze. And Iโm such an idiot. Everything that has happened, it only made you stronger, but not meโฆ I got weak.โShe grabbed my face, holdi
A vow of hateย ย ย CHAPTER 164
Valerieโs feet kicked in excitement as we turned down the street. I smiled at her in the rearview mirror.โDaddy waiting!โ she crowed.I felt both excitement and trepidation as I pulled into the driveway. I wanted to come home so much, yet I was afraid of what was going to happen when we were alone. Would Christian continue moving forward, or would our presence once again cause him to slide backward? Once he got over the initial pleasure of seeing his child, would he again find her, and me, more of a bother? I wasnโt sure I could take it if that happened. I couldnโt watch the man I love disappear into the shell he used to be. But a small voice in my head kept telling me he wouldnโt. The gifts, the notes, the calls, and texts from him were all sent by the man I loved. He had made sure I knew how sorry he was feeling and how hard he was working to come back to us. He even opened up and expressed his worries, finally letting me know the depth of his fears. Finally letting me understand w
A vow of hateย ย ย CHAPTER 163
HAZELChristian lifted his face from my neck, his eyes red, his cheeks damp. I had never witnessed him break down that way. The rare occasions when he cried, he still held himself in check, his pride unable to allow even me to fully see his pain. I grabbed the tissues Maddox had dropped beside us and wiped Christianโs face, cupping his cheeks. โHey,โ I whispered, looking up at him from where I crouched between his legs. โI guess I lost the last piece of my man card with that display,โ he mumbled.โI doubt it. Maddox was openly weeping before you even finished walking, and Mia had to leave the room.โ He frowned in confusion. โWhy?โ โTheyโre as proud of you as I am, Christian.โ โWhere are they?โ โMaddox made sure you were back in your chair, and they left. I heard the car driving away, so I assumed they left to give us some privacy.โ He looked down, surprised. โI have no recollection of being moved.โ I softened my voice. โYou were pretty emotional.โ
A vow of hateย ย ย CHAPTER 162
Hazel loved the spa. She sent pictures of them all enjoying the treatments, sipping champagne, even funny ones of Valerie getting a baby massage and having her toes done with the girls, holding up a glass of apple juice. They made me smile, even as my heart ached. I sent flowers to the hotel for Hazel. I added a box of her preferred chocolates. When she went back to mom and Grandpaโs, I sent a chef to make her favorite meal. A basket of bath products to indulge her love of soaking in the tub. I sent it with a stuffed bear, fluffy and cute with a card attached, reading: "Snuggle this until youโre home. Iโll take his place when youโre ready. All my loveโYour Christian". One night, lying in our bed alone, I turned on some music. I shut my eyes and listened as the soothing voice of Neil Diamond played in the darkness. A song came on, and for some reason, the lyrics hit me as they never had before. โThe Story of My Lifeโ spoke of the depth of his love for the woman in his life
