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THE TRADE
publish date:
2026-06-26 02:08:58
Latest chapter
According to his secretary THE TRADE
The memories come flooding back. All the times I saw him hang by her statue, all the times I caught him lingering with an expression full of longing… all the times I ran here, I walked by, I was walking past my mother. If I had looked closer, I would have known, I could have saved her… if I lived here instead of demanding my own place. Maybe she wouldn’t have spent the last few years underground.I thought he couldn’t possibly fuck with me any more than he already did.But he’s Crawford, I should have expected something of this magnitude from him.Separating mother and child but keeping them together at the same time. Only Crawford could manage that.A terrible cry falls from my mother’s lips, snapping my attention to her. She’s awfully pale, almost translucent from the lack of sunlight. My heart constricts at the sight of her. There’s not much I remember about the woman that birthed me, not her smell, nor her smile, nothing about her screamed familiar, but I knew deep down in my bone
According to his secretary CRAWFORD'S SICKNESS
I’m full of self loathing and guilt as the address comes in. It’s the main house, where I grew up. Where all my demons are. I can’t help but notice the irony, it’ll end where it started, at least for me.Fiona suggests we tie her up, or cuff her to make it believable, but she takes one look at my expression and quickly changes her mind, I wonder what she sees, guilt, shame? The fact that I can’t call myself human after this is over?Tim drives us there, the whole time my neck is stiff, and spine is arrow straight.My friends already made celebratory plans for when all of it is over, but I know what they’ll find after. I’ve been working on it. They’ll hate me, but they’ll understand that there’s nothing for me here anymore.They’d understand.As the car inched closer to the main house, images of being jerked around by Crawford floods my mind. The time I ended up running down this driveway in nothing but boxers and a busted lip.No one was down here, no one came to save me.At the end,
According to his secretary BIG BROTHER
My lungs refuse to work as Fiona speaks with Crawford. It feels sticky inside, blood frozen in my veins. She must sense my guilt, so as she speaks in a shaky voice, she doesn’t look up at me. Still, it doesn’t ease the boulder that lodges itself in my chest. Crawford asks to speak with me and she finally turns to me, eyes full of regret, she shoots me a small, watery smile before handing me the phone. My hands are stiff. Tim walks to me, standing right next to me so I know he’s here, brows drawn, glare as hot as the sun directed at the phone. I find it’s easier to breathe with the realization that I’m not alone. Crawford doesn’t say anything, but his too steady breathing over the phone lets me know exactly what is going on, he’s angry in ways that he’s just inventing himself. Plus, the silence is to rattle me. I square my shoulders.This is war. We’ve been going at it since I was born, he’s always had the upper hand, this time though, I managed to one up him, and with that hand and
According to his secretary THE PLAN
CARSON BITTERS POV I threw up thrice before Robin said we should call the whole thing off, arguing that we’d try again with something less dehumanizing.“Don’t be stupid. This our only chance and you know it. We blow it and I’ll be chasing cold trails for the rest of my life. Those girls will never have a life in the meantime.” I had said, glaring at him from the floor of the toilet.I’d never seen him so rattled, for the first time in a long time, I saw that look in his eyes again. Like he pitied me. And I fucking hated it.“It’s us.”“What?”“We’ll be chasing cold trails for the rest of our lives. There hasn’t been a time we weren’t in this together. And there never will be.”My acidic mouth was left hanging for a while, his words sinking in slowly. It’s not the first time any of them mentioned it, but it hits a lot different when you’re literally at rock bottom where it seems going up is a distant dream. Scrubbing the back of my hand across my mouth
According to his secretary THE BEATEN
We go out to celebrate Lynn’s acceptance. The two of them say it’s not a big deal, and we have to wait for Carson anyway. They aren’t wrong, but I’m not putting anything before them again. I resented Natalia a lot, I don’t want Carson and I to suffer the same thing. This is something I want to protect and nurture in the best way possible. Plus, this is a small celebration.I invite the rest of our siblings for a bigger one. But that’ll happen when Carson gets back. He’s part of us now.Lynn will be out of Coldwater and leaving home for the first time. Her achievements deserve to be celebrated. At dinner, I get sucked into her excitement, and I wonder how she managed to keep it ‘lowkey’ as they called it. Glenn also looked happy for her, but I don’t miss the way he looked at her like he was memorizing her face, or the way he blinked back tears. It was heart achingly sweet and torture at once.They’ve never been separated before. It’ll be hard on him. The dinner is like old times, I
According to his secretary FOR HIM
Carson is nowhere to be found.Lynn made me talk about him while I ate, she was trying to make me eat, and it worked. I could talk about him for hours unend and still have things to say. I told them about our snowball fight– their faces fell when they heard I’d never done that before. With every word I said about him, I missed him greatly, but I was sure about one thing. There’s no life as usual for me after this.Falling in love with Carson was the turning point of my entire life, I never want to go back to the person I was without him. He’s gotten under my skin, made home in my heart, and mind, consumed my soul… I’m not sure I remember what it felt like without his incessant stories at the back of my mind, his smell, the feel of his skin… Goddammit. Where is he?Does he not feel the way I do?Can’t he tell that I miss him? That my lungs burn with longing for him… My phone rings, and I quickly swipe accept, keeping my eyes on the entrance to Robin’s building, in case he walks out
According to his secretary MY CARSON
Carson twists under me, trying to flip himself to his stomach.Not a fucking chance.I grab his wrists quickly, pining them above his head, he struggles, his little grunts filling the air as he does. I don’t let up, watching him struggle, every time he pulls away I hear the unmistakable sound of my
According to his secretary WHERE IS CARSON?
“Carson didn’t do anything wrong, he doesn’t even know Robin likes him like that.” I defend quickly, twisting in my seat to face him so he sees that what happened back there was entirely my fault.Glenn rolls his eyes at me,“You’re so in love with him, it’s gross.”I find myself smiling softly at
According to his secretary TWO DAYS
CARSON BITTERS POV “You can’t kick me out! You’re my best friend in the whole entire world!” I scream as Eva continues to drag me by the ankles. I latch on to the leg of her table, as she drags me, she drags the table along.When she turns around to see me latched unto the
According to his secretary ONE WITH HIM
I lose time and space, the world around us slowing down without us as the words crash down on me.It was obvious when I started getting restless about him that my feelings were more than platonic. I wanted to own him, be inside him, be one with him. I should have known then, but I know now. I also
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