Afflictive desires

Sitted on thé balcony of her window Hanan watch thé man of her dream drive out of the house in thé familiar Mercedes benz, she releases a heavy breathe and stare at the gloomy cloud with a sigh, never did she thought she will be in such situation.

Growing up hanan always had this weird feeling wheneverr she is around him she decided it was just a silly crush that teenagers have on a good looking guy because honestly speaking we all have that one cousin we find very attractive she would say to her self. 

  But as she grows up thé crush escalated into an insatiable desire, a desire she know can only be fulfill in her fantasy. Because she do know that Hafiz hardly noticed her presence sometimes she wishe she is as beautiful as her mum maybe he will notice but nevertheless anytime hé is with her brother she do eavesdropped into there conversation and it always revolved around a girl "Nadia" who hafiz is in love with.

Hanan know she Have to suffered thé pain of à forbidden love, a love she knows she can never have. 

sometimes she feel like telling hafiz how she feel about him but she couldn't because she do know hé always look at her as a sister so she decided to keep her desire as a secret to herself. 

  sometimes she wishe she can say it to someone just to ease thé pain in her heart maybe she could tell her bestfriend but she didn't trust Amani uncontrollable mouth and her mum would just give her a piece of motherly advice, she Have to suffer alone, loving thé man she want to be with from afar it was such an Afflictive desire, 

  A desire she know will only cause her pain but she is ready to accept thé pain.

"Hanany!"thé familiar voice say snapping her out of thoughts.

"Amany.

I thought you just left with ya hafiz."hanan say to her bestfriend who just roll her eyes in boredom.

"Yeah.

Ya hafiz send me to bring this to you that i should tell you hé wont make it to your birthday tomorrow because hé is leaving for a business meeting."Amani say throwing thé shopping bag on her bestfriend bed.

Hanan jump down from thé balcony of her window and pick the shopping bag from thé bed, a gift card and 3 wrapped items are in the bag she decide she will check on them when she is alone so she open her wardrope and drop thé bag.

"Open it let see."Amani say to her bestfriend but hanan just laugh and close her wardrope.

"I can't believe hé remember my birthday."hanan say excited with a smile on her face.

"I remind him though, ya hafiz hardly remember anyone birthday beside mum and that his girlfriend."Amani say with an eyeroll.

Hanan feel her chest tighten at thé mention of his girlfriend but she just smile it off.

"I will call him later to thank him, where is hé going to?"Hanan find herself asking she like knowing and hearing anything about him.

"California.

They are going together with dad anyway lets forget about that jerk i called an elder brother.

Yesterday i overheard mum speaking with dad that it's high time ya hafiz marry babe i hear wedding bells wlh, maybe we will get to see this nadia hé is always talking about."Amany say to her bestfriend excitedly.

Hanan feel like a heavy stone has been placed upon her heart, she wanted to scream at her bestfriend and tell her she love her brother but she couldn't because she know Amany will broadcast it she love her bestfriend and there friendship but there are somethings she just Have to keep it to herself. so she did what she is very good at. She smile and cheer together with her bestfriend.

"Uhmmm Amany."Hanan say seriously looking at her bestfriend and amany look at her with concentration.

"I don't know how am gonna say this but...i love your brother."Hanan say to her bestfriend because she feel like  she she deserve to know since she is his sister she dont want to pretend to be happy about the news because she is not.

"I know."amany say to her bestfriend.

"You did but how?"hanan say curiously since she know she has never tell anyone her little secret.

"You'ré my sister and bestfriend hanan, i am a very observant person i notice thé way you look at my brother, you do get lost staring at him you'ré always happy and smiling whenever hé talked to you above all i caught you multiple times staring at his pictures.

I dont know why you choose not to tell me and keep that as your secret maybe you dont trust me enough or something."Amany say to her bestfriend with a shrug.

Hanan stare at her bestfriend with a guilt she did know amani is her bestfriend and they dont hide things from each other but she was scared.

"I'm sorry.

I was scared you would tell anty jasra or my mum i dont want anyone to know."Hanan say to her bestfriend as she drop her gaze shamefully to her hands.

"It's ok hanan, i know i Have a very loud personality but i would never tell anyone your secret, if you dont want anyone to know i will never mention it to anyone."Amany say to her bestfriend and hug her.

Only then hanan get some sort of relief atleast now she know her bestfriend know about her secret soo she can at least talk freely to her about how she feel toward her brother. Thé two indulge into a conversation about there little fantasys once its evening time Amany leave promising her bestfriend she will come back tomorrow morning for them to prepare for her birthday.

Hey everyone is me again and i am back with another banga.

Soo tell me how is thé first chapter?

Will hanan dreams come true?

Will she confess her feelings to hafiz?

Above all did you enjoy reading thé first chapter.