Chapter 3

Hanan!

Opening my bedroom window i climb on and sit on the balcony giving me the full access to the view of our street, the morning cloud is a little chill yet the sun has started to rise, my mind drift to 5days days ago at the hospital and i smile, just seeing him makes me alright and everyday i see him he just look handsome than i last saw him, i always pray that God should make him mine i don't want to pray to God to remove his love in my heart because honestly i just want to be with him the man of my dream.

I want God to fulfill my wishe even do that is the only wishe he will grant me in this life.

"Hanan."i snap out of my thoughts and turn to face my mum.

"Good morning mummy."I say jumping back inside the room.

"Morning.

How are you?"she ask worriedly and i nod.

"I am ok mum."I say she nod and sit on the edge of my bed.

"Come and sit hanany."my mum say patting the space next to her on the bed.

I sit,she smile at me and hold my hands in hers.

"Hanany."she say and i look at her.

"Na'am mummy."I say and she take a deep breathe.

"Hanan is there anything that is disturbing you and you don't want anyone to know, please tell me i am your mum feel free to discuss anything with me, my mum and i are very close you did see the way i am with her please hanan i want that type of relationship with you. 

I don't like the way you're always isolating yourself. Please tell me if something is bothering you.'my mum 

Say pledingly and i nod with a smile.

"Mummy i am fine and nothing is bothering me i swear."I say and she sigh.

"Toh, why did thé doctor say you'ré emotionally disturbed."my mum say worriedly and i sigh.

"Mummy i am fine wlh."I say and she breathe out a heavy breathe.

"Ok .

If you say so.

Anyway i want to discuss something very important with you."she say and i nod.

"Did you have a boyfriend?"she ask and i look at her in bewilderment.

"Boyfriend?

Mummy i am just 19yrs, no i dont."i say and she sigh.

"You'ré graduating next month and i think its better if i ask you now because immediately after your graduation you'ré getting married i just want to know if you have someone in your life."she say and i shake my head.

"I dont have a boyfriend and i dont want to marry a stranger,

I dont want to even marry now."I say and she sigh.

"Hanan.

I am your mother and i know what is best for you i am discussing this with you because your dad will not want to force you into an arranged marriage i am also not going to force you If you dont want go be with him i wont force you kinji."she say and i nod.

"Who is hé?"i ask and she smile.

"It's hafiz your brother i know you girls of nowadays dont like all this family marriage but i think hafiz twill take care of you since you'ré his sister, he is a very decent and understanding guy."she say and i look at her confuse.

"Did hé say hé loves me?"i ask curiously.

"Not yet i just want to hear from you if he is ok for you before i tell his mum to speak to him, dont put it in your mind and think maybe we want you to be with each other by force, jasra will speak to hafiz and if he say hé has a girlfrend nobody is going to force any of you to be with each other we just want thé best for you."she say and i nod.

A part of me is happy and excited but deep inside me i know thé answer to his question, he has a girlfriend, a girlfriend he care soo much about and want to spent thé rest of his life with it is such a though pill to swallow knowing he will actually reject me without a second thought.

"Are you alright hanan.

If you dont want him please tell me but dont cry i dont want to force you into an arrange marriage because i know thé beauty in marrying someone you love."my mum say cleaning my face and i smile.

"No mum i am happy by your choice i hope God choose what is best for us ."I say and she nod with a smile.

"May Allah bless you."she say and i nod.

"Ameen mummy."I say and she stand up.

"Let me go and call jasra so i will tell her i have speak to you thén she will speak to hafiz."she say and i nod.

I watch as she leave thé room and close thé door shut.

I throw myself on thé bed with a sigh.

I close My eyes listening to my heartbeat, i dont care if he will accept me because of our family or out of pity, i will be with him as long as he doesn't reject me hell even if he reject me i will be with him because i care about him and i believe one day he will have same feeling i have for him.