Chapter 2

Tahimik kong pinusod ang aking mahabang buhok habang nakatingin sa salamin. I’m wearing one of Renee’s floral dresses again, and it appears shorter to me because I’m a bit taller than her. Mas hapit din ito sa akin dahil mas malaki ang hubong ng katawan ko kaysa sa kaniya.

My eyes stopped my hair. The more I see its strands in different color, the more it reminds me of stealing someone’s identity even if she herself knows it.

I honestly don’t know where this would bring me. Marami rin naman akong pangarap para sa sarili ko at kina Mama. I want to be a professional architect and earn huge money from it. I want to own a house and a car that’s from my own hardships.

I could’ve left my parents and live on my own. To do everything in order to reach those dreams without help from them. Kaso wala e. Magulang ko sila. Ako lang ang anak nila. Kahit gaano sila kasama, the blood that runs in me runs also in them.

And also Renee. . . I can't leave her. She’s already like a sister to me.

Mapait akong napangiti. Sa sitwasiyon ko ngayon, parang wala rin naman itong pinagkaiba. I still left them, I still left Renee. Only that, I’m doing this for them and not for myself.

Naging maayos ang daloy ng tulog ko sa unang gabi ko sa mansyon ng mga Villacorta. Although, I had a hard time falling asleep. The big room I’m in is enough to make me feel lonely, not only at that time being, but generally lonely in life. 

Tumayo ako at tumungo sa veranda ng kwarto. Tinukod ko ang magkabilang braso sa railings at tahimik na pinanood ang tanawin.

It’s already around 7 AM. It’s a bright and sunny morning. White, fluffy clouds drifted across the sky. Birds are also seen flying scatteredly in the air. Siguro, ang tanging gusto ko lang sa pamamalagi rito ay ang napakagandang tanawin.

My eyes lingered at the wide ranch they own. My eyes stopped at the familiar bulk of body. His tensed back is facing me. I watched his arms flex everytime it would move. He’s cleaning one of the horses. Masiyado siyang maputi para sa isang haciendero.

Anyone could really get charmed by Kirviel. Even if he screams darkness and power, I know there’s a long line of women wanting to be with him.

But not me. Not in this situation. And not when he could possibly ruin our plan.

Naaniag ko ang tatlong lalaki at isang babaeng lumapit sa kaniya. Naningkit ang mga ko. Are they his friends?

Agad akong napaatras nang makitang napatingin dito ang isa sa kanila. Not wanting to get their attention, I stepped away and decided to leave my room fully.

“Renee, hija!” Si Mrs. Villacorta na agad akong naaninag pagkababa ko. 

Mahinhing ngiti ang ginawa ko sa kaniya. “Good morning, Tita.”

“Come on, let’s eat breakfast. Nasa labas pa si Kirviel at inaasikaso ang paborito niyang kabayo. Ipapatawag ko para sumabay na sa atin.” Buo ang ngisis nito habang ako’y inaasikaso.

Tumango lang ako roon. I glanced at the table and saw how it’s full of different meals again. They always make breakfast, lunch, and dinner appear grand. Ang simpleng sa kanila ay magarbo na sa iba.

“Ma,” tawag ng isang malalim na boses.

Nag-angat ako ng tingin at ang unang bumungad sa akin ay ang hubad na pang-itaas ni Kirviel. I gulped when the first thing I saw was his etched in stone abs with deep cuts. And his arms. . . they are very well-toned so that even if you punch them, he will not feel any pain.

I looked away and immediately saw his eyes directed at me. Agad kong itinuon ang tingin sa pagkain na parang wala lang 'yon. 

Damn it.

"Oh, hijo! Come on, sit with us."

"My friends went here, Mama. Iinom sana kami mamayang hapon, is it fine?" Masuyo ang boses nito ngayon habang kausap ang ina.

I felt him sit right in front of me. Ang hawak ko sa mga kubyertos ay mas humigpit.

"Yeah, sure! You can also introduce Renee to them," masiglang sagot ni Mrs. Villacorta.

Damn, what? No way! I'm not yet fucking ready.

"When is the formal announcement of our engagement, then?" Kirviel asked.

Nakuha no'n ang atensiyon ko ng buo. They're going to announce it to the public? Fuck, hindi pwede! 

"P-Public announcement po, Tita?" I looked at Mrs. Villacorta.

"Yes, hija? Are you uncomfortable?"

"Pwede po bang wala na? I-I want this private po," pigil-hinga kong suwestiyon sa kaniya.

Nahagip ng tingin ko si Kirviel. He's smiling dangerously, as if he just caught me doing a crime. Hindi ko napigilang mapamura sa isipan nang matanto ang nangyari. He's pushing the public announcement because he's still pushing the idea that I am not Renee! At kapag nangyari ang public announcement, mapapahiya ako.

I tried to calm myself down. Even Renee's relatives have never seen Renee for years. Hindi ako mabubuko.

"But if you want, Tita, we can," bawi ko sa matigas na boses.

Sumulyap ako kay Kirviel at nakita ang pag-angat nito ng kilay. Tiningnan ko siya na tila nanghahamon. If you're not going to stop until the truth comes out, then I will not stop protecting the truth too.

"Oh no, hija! I'll go where you're comfortable. Tsaka, let's not talk about it, okay? Just enjoy your stay here for a while." Matamis na ngiti ang ginawad sa akin ni Mrs. Villacorta.

Ngumiti ako. I glanced at Kirviel again and saw how he gritted his teeth and clenched his jaw.

Loser.

After breakfast, I went to the mini library they had. Ipinakita ito sa akin ni Mrs. Villacorta nang malaman niyang mahilig akong magbasa.

Siguro kung titimbangin kami ni Renee, aakalain ng mga tao na siya nga ang may hilig nito. Her composed personality matches more of being a bookworm. Pero wala e, hindi siya mahilig. Samantalang ako, hindi na lubos mabilang ang dami ng librong nabasa.

I spent hours in the library, reading a classic novel. Natigil lang ako nang tawagin ako para sa tanghalian. Pero pagkatapos kumain, bumalik ulit ako sa mini library at pinagpatuloy ang pagbabasa.

I know every reader loves to spend long hours reading. Hangga't hindi nalalaman ang wakas, hindi kailan man mapapagod.

I found myself lying on the couch, and sleeping. Napabalikwas lang ako nang marinig ang pagbukas ng pinto. I squinted my eyes and looked at the window. Gabi na?

"You should've told my mother you like it more here, sana ay dito na lang ginawa ang kwarto mo."

Kumunot ang noo ko nang marinig 'yon. Kirviel is standing at the door frame, wearing a white shirt and black jersey shorts. He turned the lights on so I can clearly see his heavy eyes and flushed face now.

He's tipsy.

"What are you doing here?" I asked monotonously.

He cocked a brow. "It's time for dinner. Mama told me to call you, you're not in your room so I went here."

Dinner? Parang bukod sa pagbabasa ay pagkain lang ang nagagawa ko buong araw.

"Susunod ako." Umiwas ako ng tingin sa kaniya at inayos ang nagusot na damit. Nang umangat ulit ang tingin, I saw him boldly checking me out. "Are you fucking me in your mind?"

"What?" Kumunot ang noo niya at agad akong tiningnan ng matalim.

I smirked. "You're tipsy and you're definitely hot. Kung may pangangailangan ka ngayon ay hindi ako ang magbibigay sa'yo no'n—"

"Shut up."

"I'm your fiancee but that doesn't mean you can—"

"I said shut up, Renee!" Kitang-kita ko ang namumula niyang mukha sa inis ngayon. Mas lalo lang akong napangisi.

Sinara ko ang hawak na libro at unti-unting naglakad palapit sa kaniya. I saw his body tensed. Nang ilang pulgada na lang ang layo namin ay tumigil na ako. I traced with my eyes his face. From his brows, nose, cheeks down to his wet and red plump lips.

"Sayang. I'm a firm believer of sex after marriage—"

"Damn it!"

Nanlaki ang mata ko nang sa isang iglap ay nahatak niya ako palapit sa kaniya. Agad kong naramdaman ang init ng kaniyang katawan nang pumulupot ang kaniyang braso sa aking baywang. And I couldn't get any more shocked when he crashed his lips on mine.

His hold on my waist tightened as I felt his tongue brushed on my lips. Then he claimed my lower lip, sipping and biting it like a soft strawberry flavored candy. When his tongue knocked on my teeth, I let him in.

I didn't realize I was starting to kiss him back, thrusting my tongue in his mouth to meet him. The kiss was already going deep and further when he suddenly stopped. That earned a frustrating groan from me.

Tiningnan ko siya ng masama ngunit ngumisi lang siya.

"For someone who still hasn't had her first kiss, you are too aggressive and full of knowledge."

Nanlamig ako sa sinabi niya. Saka ko lang narealize ang nangyari.

Damn it. 

We kissed! He kissed me and I kissed back!

Para akong napapasong lumayo sa kaniya. Dali-dali akong naglakad palabas, kahit naririnig ko pang humalakhak siya ay nagpatuloy lang ako.

Ang tanga mo, Arabella! Napakatanga mo.

"Or maybe that wasn't your first kiss!"

I heard him say. I looked back and saw him following me. Naiinis akong pumadyak lalo palayo.

Nang malapit na sa dining area, tumigil muna ako at inayos ang sarili. I combed my hair using my fingers. Huminga rin ako nang malalim at handa na sanang maglakad ulit nang may maramdaman akong kamay sa likod ko.

"You don't need to fix yourself. Let Mama see your flushed face and think we're doing—"

"Shut up!" Naglakad na ulit ako nang hindi nililingon si Kirviel.

Naabutan ko si Mrs. Villacorta sa usual seat niya. Nang makita kami ng kaniyang anak, ngumisi siya bigla.

I looked away.

I wonder if she can still smile like that once she found out that this damn girl right here isn't the real ideal daughter-in-law she's been dreaming to have?