Archangel Bound in Scars

"I want divorce."

Just like that. He said it. As calm and composed I've always seen him, no expression, no twitch in the jaw, nothing. My usual neutral, cold husband. My husband, who apparently now wanted a divorce.

I laughed, laughed hard. It was something new, we never laughed together. I never laughed in front of him. Hell, we didn't even talk much! We always talked when we needed, about finance, about business. Business, it has been between us. There is no difference between me and his private secretary. Oh there is a difference, he didn't sleep with his secretary, or did he? I don't know anymore.

Even now that I am laughing, he showed no sign of amusement or surprise. It's like he's used to my laugh, but he's not. I barely laughed these days, my life did not allow me to. I was not married to a simple man, I wish I was. He was the heir of the Sinclairs, one of the most influential family of our country. He could not be married to a simple girl either. And simple, I was.

We were betrothed when I was 20  years old, He was 25. My father was the mayor of our town and I was his lovely daughter. Like any other young adult, my head was full of those cheesy romance novels, I was waiting for my prince charming to come and sweep me off my feet.

Jokes on me, my prince was nothing of charming. He was dark, dangerous and beautiful, dangerously beautiful. The darkness in him made me fall in love with him, madly so. I loved him with everything I had, and loved him more and more in these five years of my marriage. I heard love makes you feel fullfilled, makes you happy, I never felt that. I loved him so much that it hurt, sometimes I would feel overwhelmed thinking how much I love him and my chest would constrict, making me breathless. Love for him made me breathless.

Oh Love, why does it hurt so much? I couldn't stop that one traitor drop of tears that fall on my cheeks as I looked at the divorce paper my husband held before me.

"You have nothing to be sad. Even after divorce, I'll pay you three times more than your alimony. I have also transfered my beach house and the villa in Los Angeles in your name. I assure you will face no problem in moving on your life until you find someone in your life."

Someone! How easy it was for him to say that! He even prepared for alimony and all the legal complications that would come after divorce. How long has he been planning for it?

Who am I kidding? My husband never does anything without a plan. God, he might even have a blueprint prepared for every steps he takes.

"Why?", I asked, my voice strong and steady. I wanted to know the reason of course, but more than that I wanted to know what's in his mind.

"I don't think the marriage is going to work anymore"

"Is there someone else?"

There, I just saw the reaction there, the fire that cracks up in his eyes when he's angry.

He didn't reply. I knew the answer anyway, he wouldn't cheat ever. It's not someone else that ruined our marriage, it's me. I could not make him fall in love with me.

"Where did I go wrong?" I couldn't stop the trembling of my voice, couldn't stop those tears either. I am known for my strength and now my strength was crumbling down.

"It's not about you" His cold reply came.

It was never about me in this marriage. It was all about maintaining his life, his career, his heredity. I tried my best to do that, but in all this I never tried to be his wife, his companion. We were partners in business, nothing more and nothing less.

"So, it's decided then."

"It is."

He had his lips pursed. It's a sign that the conversation was over.

But it's not over for me, not yet.

"When do you want me gone?" I asked in a casual tone. It hit bulls eye, his neutral mask crumbled for a sec. He jutted his gaze at me as if asking if I ever cared.

And I found the answer I needed.

"Whenever you want."

"Okay, I'll head out now."

"Okay"

So simple, so easily we had our last conversation as if these four years we invested in each other didn't even exist.

He stood on the doorway when I was having my luggages picked up in the car. When I was ready, I turned to look at him.

Kiss me one last time. Kiss me like you loved me once, even for a moment. Even if you didn't, just kiss me.

"Good bye.", I said staring at his straight tall form with all the love I could muster. As always, he didn't notice.

"Bye"

And my car started for the way I was yet to find in my life.