KABANATA 2

Kung may magagawa lang sana siya para maibalik ito sa dati. Iyon ang mapait isiping hindi nawawala sa isip ni Marcus. He was a surgeon renowned for his expertise, a man whose hands had performed miracles in operating rooms. His colleagues spoke of him with reverence, marveling at his precision and skill. But none of that mattered here. The wounds he tended in his profession were tangible—visible cuts that could be sutured, broken bones that could be set.

Pero sa kabila ng lahat ng iyon, ang sugat na puso niya ay nagiging mahirap sa kanya para paghilumin. Something no scalpel could mend. It was deep and unrelenting, a mix of grief, guilt, and longing that stemmed from memories too painful to dwell on. As much as Marcus wanted to believe that time could heal all wounds, he doubted it could ever touch the one etched in his heart.

“Papa?” hindi na halos marinig ang boses niya. Hindi rin naman kasi niya gustong magsalita ng malakas dahil ayaw niyang sirain ang kapayapaan ng paligid. Alam kasi niyang ang kapayapaang iyon ang mundo ng lalaking nakaupo sa ilalim ng puno ng akasya.

His father, unmoving, kept his gaze fixed on some distant point, his expression a blend of detachment and tranquility. Nagdulot ng hapdi sa puso ni Marcus ang tanawing iyon. Pagkatapos ay bumalik ng malinaw sa kanyang alaala ang isang masayahin na lalaking puno ng buhay. At iyon ang nasaksihan niyang personalidad nito habang lumalaki siya.

Pero ngayon, narito ang lalaking iyon sa kanyang harapan. Tila ba isang nilalang na nakabilanggo sa isang mundong napakalayo, hindi niya masundan, kaya hindi niya ito magawang tulungan.

“P-Papa,” his whisper, though soft, carried the weight of longing—a desperate hope that maybe, just maybe, this time his father would turn to him.

Pero nanatiling bigo si Marcus. Katulad nang kung papaanong nanatiling parang walang naririnig ang kanyang ama sa tinig niyang puno ng pangungulila.

The man didn’t stir, didn’t so much as blink in acknowledgment. Itinigil ni Marcus ang paghakbang. Iyon ay upang mapagbigyan ang sariling mag-sink in sa kanya ang reyalidad. Pagkatapos ay muli niyang pinagmasdan ang ama niyang tila ba napakakontento na sa katahimikan ng mundong kinaroroonan nito.

The sunlight filtering through the branches highlighted the lines of age etched into his face, each one a silent testament to a life well-lived yet marked by struggles Marcus couldn’t undo. His father’s posture was still, yet there was a kind of dignity in the way he sat, his hands resting gently on his lap. It was as if he had found peace—or perhaps given up entirely. Lalong lumalim ang sakit sa dibdib ni Marcus dahil doon. Saka niya tahimik na tinanong ang sarili kung ang patuloy ba niyang pagpunta dito ay nakabubuti sa kanyang ama o dapat na itigil na niya?

“Papa,” Marcus tried again, his voice trembling slightly, this attempt heavier with emotion.

Pinilit niyang ignorahin ang tila kung anong bagay na nakabara sa kanyang lalamunan. The sharp pain that made it difficult to breathe. Kailangang niyang magsalita. Kailangan niyang subukan o baka mas tamang sabihing piliting basaging ang pader sa pagitan nila na kahit pa hindi niya nakikita iyon ang totoong naglalayo sa kanilang dalawa.

Pero, ang hindi niya maunawaan ay kung bakit kahit ilang beses na niyang sinubukang gawin ang ganito, ang sakit na pinagdadaanan niya ay hindi kailanman naging madali. Kahit kaunti ay hindi gumaan.

Hindi na bago kay Marcus ang pananahimik ng kanyang ama. Pero kahit pa ganoon ay nananatiling mapaminsala ang epekto niyon sa kanya palagi. A silence that spoke of memories lost and connections severed.

Marcus stood there, frozen in place, for what felt like an eternity. His hands curled into fists at his sides, his nails digging into his palms as if the physical discomfort could anchor him. He wanted to shout, to cry, to demand that his father come back to him, even if only for a moment.

Pero sa halip ay mas pinili na lamang niyang lunukin ang sakit. Inilagay niya iyon sa bahagi ng kanyang pagkatao na walang sinuman ang makakikita.  

His lips trembled as he took a step forward, and his eyes remained fixed on his father’s still figure. The unspoken words between them hung heavily in the air, a reminder of all that had been lost and the fragile hope Marcus still clung to.

Alam niyang sa anumang sandali ay aagos na ang mga luha. The dam he had built over the years, the wall of stoicism and strength, was beginning to crack under the weight of his emotions. Pero hindi niya hinayaang mangyari iyon.

Bata pa lang siya nang turuan niya ang sarili na ang pag-iyak ay tanda ng kahinaan. Something a man should never show, especially not in front of those who needed his strength. His father, once a towering figure in his life, had been a model of that kind of strength—silent, enduring, and unshakable.

Muli ay nagpatuloy siya sa paghakbang. His feet heavy with the weight of the moment. The air around him seemed thicker now. Pero sa kabila niyon ay nagpatuloy pa rin siya sa paghakbang. As he reached the spot where his father sat, hindi siya agad na nagsalita.

Instead, he just stood there for a moment, taking in the quiet presence of the man who had shaped so much of who he was. Napangiti si Marcus habang pinagmamasdan ang nagbabagong kulay ng buhok nito, sign of aging ika nga nila. At ang mga guhit sa mukha nito ay sapat nang magkwento ng mga pagsubok sa buhay na napagtagumpayan. Stories of hardship and wisdom.

But it was the stillness, the way he seemed to exist in a world entirely of his own, that struck Marcus most. It was as if the man had faded into the background of his own life, lost in time and memory, and Marcus was just another fleeting presence in that silent space.

Sa wakas, nagkaroon rin siya ng lakas ng loob na maupo sa tabi nito. Isa iyong desisyon na kung titingnan ay parang napakasimple lang. Pero hindi iyon madali para sa kanya lalo na kung ang kapalit naman ay magagambala ang kapayapaang ine-enjoy ngayon ng kanyang ama.

The bench creaked under their combined weight as Marcus settled beside the man, his body aching with exhaustion, both physical and emotional. He glanced at his father, taking in the gentle curve of his face, the soft lines that spoke of a life well lived, though now overshadowed by something more powerful and painful.

"Papa," he whispered, his voice barely audible, "Can I stay here for a while?" His words were simple, but they carried a world of meaning.

The question wasn’t just about staying physically beside him, but about being present in this moment, hoping that some connection, however fleeting, could bridge the vast chasm between them.

Lalong lumalim ang katahimikan sa pagitan nilang dalawa. Pero hindi na iyon pinansin ni Marcus. In that silence, he found solace, a strange comfort in simply being there, with his father, in this place that felt both familiar and impossibly distant.

At that moment, when his father’s gaze finally met his, something shifted within Marcus. It was a soft, almost imperceptible change, but it made his heart race.

Isang mabait, banayad, at mainit na ngiti ang nakita ni Marcus na pumunit sa mga labi ng kanyang ama. Lalong nagtumindi ang pangungulila niya sa lalaking mula pagkabata ay nagsilbing haligi ng kanilang tahanan. Ang maliit nilang pamilya na masaya. Iyon ang totoo, lumaki siya na nakikita ang kasiyahang iyon kaya wala siyang nakitang kulang. At dahil iyon sa lalaking ito, at sa babaeng pinili nitong makasama habang buhay, ang kanyang ina. Siguro ganoon talaga, nasanay kasi siyang nakikitang malakas ang matapang ang lalaki ito. Ito ang palaging pumuprotekta sa kanila ng Mama niya. Palaging nasa tabi niya, handa siyang itama at turuan sa mga pagkakataong kailangan niya ng teacher.

Pero ngayon, as their eyes locked, Marcus saw the truth in them.

The eyes that once held wisdom, strength, and love were now clouded, distant. Masakit man pero kailangan niyang tanggapin ang katotohanang hindi na ito ang lalaking nakilala niya noon—habang lumalaki siya.

It wasn’t the man he had known. It was as though he were staring at a stranger, a shadow of the person who had once shaped his world. And in that instant, Marcus couldn’t help but feel the weight of the years that had passed, the pain that still lingered between them, and the haunting memories that never fully faded. Those memories—some filled with love, others with heartbreak—had never fully healed, and no matter how much he had tried to bury them, they resurfaced now with an intensity that almost broke him.

But what truly shattered him was the sound of his father’s voice, fragile and soft, yet so painfully familiar. "Ako po si Mario Valencia, my wife is Juliana. Napakaganda niya, sobrang ganda. I also have a son, his name is Marcus—he dreamed of becoming a doctor…"

The words, spoken with such quiet tenderness, hit Marcus with the force of a thousand memories. He had never expected to hear his father speak again, not in this way. His mind raced as the memories flooded back—the dreams his father had once had for him, the endless possibilities they had shared, before the silence had stolen those moments. But now, in these fragile words, Marcus saw not just the man he had once called his father, but a glimpse of the past—a past that had been buried under layers of regret, confusion, and unresolved pain.

Ang kabigatan ng mga salitang iyon ang bumasag ng husto kay Marcus sa paraang hindi niya kaya ipaliwanag. He felt as if the world had shifted beneath him. His heart ached with a sharpness he hadn’t felt in years, and the tears that had been buried deep inside him began to spill over. His Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat as the emotions he had spent so long keeping at bay surged to the surface.

Ilang sandali pa at hindi na rin niya nagawang kontrolin ang sarili niyang emosyon. Hindi na niya kayang magpakatatag. O baka mas tamang sabihing may hangganan talaga ang katatagan ng isang tao. Dahil sa kalaunan, umagos na nang tuluyan ang kanyang mga luha. At binasa ng mga iyon ng husto ang kanyang magkabilang pisngi.

Sa loob ng napakatagal na panahon wala siyang ibang ginawa kundi itago at pigilan ang pakiramdam na ito. Kahit ayaw niya nagtayo at pinalibutan niya ang pader ang kanyang puso, iyon lang tanging paraang alam niya para maging matatag siya. Dahil kailangan niyang maging matatag para sa kanyang ama, para sa pamilya nila.

Pero ngayon, ang marinig ang tinig na iyon ni Mario—marupok at basag na basag—lahat ng inipon niyang katatagan ay parang dinaanan ng malakas na delubyo kaya mabilis na nagiba—agad na nasira.were

Pinahid ni Marcus ang kanyang mga luha. His hands trembling as the reality of the moment sank in. The years of distance, the bitterness, the unresolved anger—all of it seemed to wash away with each tear that fell. Akala niya immune na siya sa ganitong uri ng sakit. Akala niya naka-move on na siya.  But as his father spoke, as those memories resurfaced, Marcus realized that no matter how hard he had tried to heal, some wounds never truly close.

His father’s words weren’t just a reminder of what had been lost; they were a call to face the brokenness that had shaped him into the man he had become. And as much as he wanted to resist, to hold on to the strength he had worked so hard to build, he couldn’t. The walls he had built crumbled in an instant, and all he could do was sit there, surrounded by the weight of his father’s fragile, haunting words.