3 - Rowan

3 - Rowan

“Sissy!” Hazel calls as she runs down the steps. She is twenty-one and I am twenty seven and the nickname will never stop, I hope. I take another deep breath to calm the low level of pain that lives in my muscles the entire time I am in Red River. I’m not sure if it is like this for all mates. Or, maybe, because I only got out a portion of my rejection acceptance before I collapsed, I have more pain than most. I do know that I feel better the further I am from Declan. Copyright ©️ 2026 Miss L Writes and Ember Mantel Productions

I shake my head of the thought and step out of the car just in time to catch my sister in a bear hug. “How are you Hazel?” I take in her sweet scent and I am instantly calm. My baby sis has always been able to keep me level headed.

“You said you might come tomorrow. What are you doing here? You never visit early – or at all – if you can help it.” She gives me a look that makes me think of our mother. “You hate it here. I thought you might find an excuse this time.” She says softly. It’s not an accusation or criticism. She knows me, inside and out. She knows what Declan’s rejection did to me and our whole family. We became outcasts. Dad was a warrior and instead of the role he should have been in as a leader, he was sent to the front lines of a minor attack where the pack mates who should have defended him, fought alongside him, left him to fight alone and perish alone. Mom didn’t survive the loss and that almost killed me. I know I am to blame for both my parent’s deaths. Hazel kept me alive during that time. Helped me understand that getting away from here will help me heal, and she was right.

“I had to come, my wolf needed to see you and be near the pack. It’s been too long and she’s getting weak. I need to figure that whole thing out, but until Declan lets me go completely, I can’t join another pack, so we are stuck.” I sigh.

“Well, come in and let’s eat. You look like sh*t and I have some news.” We both laugh and move to the door.

She leads me in and the house is so familiar, but different. She has made it her own. The entryway is bright and inviting with yellow accents everywhere. Hazel has always been the ray of sunshine in our lives, and her favorite color shows that.

I sit at the kitchen table while she bustles around. “So what is your news?  You know that I am interviewing for a position next week. Hopefully I can start making a livable wage soon. That’s all I have to share.” I roll my eyes. Our parents didn’t leave us destitute and I made money working as the future Luna training with Declan’s mom for four years, but I haven’t been able to bring myself to touch the money. It feels wrong and too close to him for my comfort level. Hazel has offered to help, but she takes care of this massive place and has her own life to lead so I refuse every time.

She hands me a glass of water and moves back to the counter, rummaging around. “I started a research assignment. Working in the pack archives…” I choke on the mouthful of water and stare at her back. She is deliberately avoiding me.

“You are working where? With who?!” I sputter out, but stay in my seat. I will keep my butt planted right here while she explains the massive bomb she just dropped on me. I set the glass down and push it away before I break it.

“Now, don’t be mad, Sissy. It’s a really good position and I couldn’t pass it up. Only two people get chosen every five years to do this.” She turns slowly, eyes pleading.

I stay quiet, my brain rummaging through all the information. This is a great opportunity for her, with one of the people who orchestrated my removal. She’s worked so hard and I know this is a position coveted almost as much as my former one. But, the people she’ll be working for are the same ones who have the power to corrupt her or take her away from me completely. They will own her and she doesn’t even know what that means. I wasn’t allowed to share what happens on the inside, I still can’t. I think that’s part of the reason I have not been released from this pack. Declan and his parents know I was in too deep, I had to be to become the next Luna. Alliances, business ventures, deals, mate bonds, disappearances, all of it. The darker side to running the pack is soul crushing, but I was made to understand why certain sacrifices had to be made and Declan was dead set on looking every bit the Alpha, which eventually included rejecting me.

“Sissy – Rowan, look at me.” I fight the warring emotions in my head and my heart. She wants this and I can’t take it from her, but I don’t know how to be happy for her either. “I know what you are thinking.”

“That is unlikely.” I sigh, then tilt my head up. She walks towards me slowly, kneeling to put us eye to eye. She’s younger, but she got our father’s tall frame. The extra two inches has always been a joke between us.

“I know the risks. I know what Malcolm and Declan did. I know Carys is a b*tch. I am aware of all of those things, but the pack archives, pack history, that is what I want to do; and if I can help get some closure for my sister in the process, why wouldn’t I take it?”

“What are you talking about?” I blink at her, sure I misunderstood.

“I am Silas’ assistant. I will have access to sensitive information. I am sure the Alpha and Luna have secrets, all leaders do. I am sure Carys will do Carys things and try to order me around like a servant and it will be fun denying her the same way you did.”

“What are you talking about?” I push her away to stand so I can pace the kitchen.

“Declan’s not over you. Your bond was severed, but not broken completely because everyone was in such a rush to get you out of the packhouse. He may have Carys, but she doesn’t have him completely and she’s good at her job, don’t get me wrong. She was raised to be the perfect Luna, but she isn’t you and everyone in that packhouse knows it.”

I change the subject because the thought hurts too much. “How long have you been working for Silas?”

“Just over two months. It is amazing, Sissy. The books, the history…ahh! There is so much to learn and so much to go through.”

“What do you do exactly?” I love reading and teaching and at one time I thought Silas was an amazing person to be tutored by, but my sister’s love of books and history is unmatched. She can sit in a room for days and forget to do simple things like eat or go to the bathroom when she’s lost in a book.

“Well, right now, we are going through the oldest tomes and preserving them, but I have also started to digitize them.” She claps her hands. “The paper won’t last forever, so I am making physical copies of the pages as well as retyping the words for easier access when we need to find something in the archives.” I can’t help but smile at the dreamy look on her face. She is so happy. I won’t take this away from her. I have to accept that she will be around all of them, that this is her dream and I can’t crush it or make her feel like she has to choose.

“Do you have to work this weekend? I don’t want to impose, but my wolf insisted that we get home and get a run in. She’s not happy with how long we stayed away this time, but I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to get my masters, for free! But, it was a massive undertaking, most people don’t complete the requirements in the time frame, which is why the school can offer it as an incentive. The problem is we have only shifted twice in the last six months and I am starting to feel the consequences. She wanted to be near you just in case something is wrong.” Copyright ©️ 2026 Miss L Writes and Ember Mantel Productions

“Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s go!!” She shouts and starts moving towards the front door.