2 - Rowan

2 - Rowan

I both love and hate shopping. On the one hand, going with Shelly is like being with a clothing CIA agent. She can spot the best deals on the best clothes. On the other hand, to do that we go to about 20 thrift stores all over Briar Hollow. Being a college town, there are so many to choose from. Sometimes we’ll even go back to a shop more than once. My brain hurts from trying things on over and over to get the right looks and standing there watching her do the mental gymnastics to figure out how to get more than three styles out of each piece of clothing. She should have been a fashion designer, but teaching is more consistent and stable. Stability is the one thing we both need in our lives right now. One thing most of the people in my building have in common is we all come with a history and baggage. Some talk about it, others, like me, don’t and both situations are acceptable. Everyone here wanted to work for a chance to be better and have better. That’s all that matters. Copyright ©️ 2026 Miss L Writes and Ember Mantel Productions

I drop all of my bags next to my tiny closet and pack a small backpack with essentials. I still have clothing at home and Hazel never gets rid of anything so I don’t need much more than that. I can’t wait to see her. We talk almost everyday, but it’s not the same as being with her. Being away from the pack is hard for me, but my wolf struggles the most. She needs her pack mates. Problem is, no one in the pack really knows what to do or how to treat me when I am home. Two years ago, I was learning to be one of the pack leaders and then…nothing. 

A year ago my sister started working for our Elders, of all people. At first I was mad. Like raging, screaming mad. I didn’t talk to her for two days after she told me. These are the same guys who encouraged Declan to reject me for a chosen mate, an Alpha’s daughter, which created an alliance between the two packs. I was set aside for territory advantages.

The sad and pathetic part is, I understand his position. I understand the need to take care of the pack at the expense of yourself. But we had been mated for four years. Four f*cking years. I had been training to be the next Luna. We had marked each other and were fully mated. I sometimes wonder if I had given him an heir early on, if he would have made the same choice.

My hand grips the steering wheel tighter. The highway is dark and secluded. Only the most outdoorsy humans come this far. I’m not driving unsafely, but the what-if’s every time I make this drive makes me furious. There was no talk, no explanation, no options given to me. 

I was brought into a room full of Elders, the Alpha and Luna, Declan and Carys Whitlock; who I learned after was the mate that was chosen by all these people to advance the pack and make it better… without me. Declan brought me to the center of the room, I still had no idea what was happening at the time. His words ring in my ears, even all this time later, because they make sense if you know him and yet they were the most gut wrenching things ever.

“Rowan, we must do what is the best for the pack.” I nod my head in agreement. That’s always his focus, and I fully supported it. “This personal sacrifice will make us both stronger. The Goddess will see that and favor us for it.” I had no idea what he was talking about, but he always wanted to be stronger, better for his pack. He abhors any kind of weakness. Then he stated the words that would change my life forever, loud and clear so the whole room could hear. “I reject you, Rowan Ashcroft as my mate and Luna.” Then he stared at me expectantly. I was frozen, what do I do? I felt our bond fracture the moment the words came out of his mouth. But it’s there and it hurts so much. I look from my hands still in his big warm ones back up to his face, then down again. My breathing is shallow, but I can’t show him I am breaking on the inside, I have to be strong. No weakness. I must have misunderstood his words. I don’t know what’s going on. He’s rejecting me? After four years, he wants to reject me now? I look around the room, everyone is staring, but no one is explaining or stepping in to help.

“Accept the rejection Rowan.” Silas calls from next to the Alpha. The Elder always has something up his sleeve. I have never fully trusted him or his motives. He is always speaking ‘on behalf of the pack’ but he's my mentor along with the Luna to help me learn my place at Declan’s side. We studied together this morning, and now he’s telling me to accept a rejection.

“I…I don’t understand.” I look around for someone who might be sympathetic. Maybe the Luna will give me an answer. “Did I do something wrong?”

“There’s nothing wrong, Rowan.” Declan smiles at me. His soft smile, the one only I see when we are alone, when he doesn’t have to put on a show for the rest of the pack. The one he gave me before we went to bed last night.

“But why?” I whisper. I wish we could have this conversation without an audience. “It’s been four years, Declan. Please just tell me what happened, so I can fix it.” I feel the hot burn of tears behind my eyes and blink them away quickly.

“Don’t make a scene.” Declan says sternly looking around the room like I did. But, unlike me, he’s checking to see if they are judging me for this display of emotion. “Accept it so we can all move forward.”

Move forward? What does he mean, move forward? I look up and see Carys smiling in her superior way and it hits me, my chest tightens further.

“You already found a replacement for me?” I’m still whispering. He’s right. I don't want to make a scene, but I deserve to know the truth.

“It’s for the best…for all of us. You know it as well as I do.” He had already made the choice, without consulting me at all. What else can I do? Copyright ©️ 2026 Miss L Writes and Ember Mantel Productions

I squeeze his hand tightly as I mutter through the pain, “I, Rowan Ashcroft, accept your rejection…” I didn’t get the full acceptance out before my body crumpled to the floor in pain. I try not to make a sound as my body convulses. I’m not sure if I succeed, but my whole body is on fire. The spot at the base of my neck where his mark sits burns white hot, I fel tears streaming down my face. I can’t see anything through the white hot…

I gasp and blink myself out of the memory and find that I am in Red River Pack, parked in the driveway of my childhood home. I don’t even know how I got here already. That memory haunts me every time I make this drive, which has been less and less the last year.