30: Anything for You

"Hey, Talia!"

I tilted my head towards his area when I heard his voice calling me. I then lit up a small smile while he is heading towards my area, beaming like he is happy to see me here outside, sitting on a bench with my things. I just went here to wait for him.

"Hi," I greeted Kiel and stood up from my seat to welcome him with a hug, but a fake one. "Ready to get off?" I asked him and put my bag in my back. He was about to get it from me when I did not let him.

"Yes, are you?" he asked back and I just nodded my head as response. We then started to walk and waited for a taxi. "You fine?"

I smiled even though I did not glance on him. "Of course, why do you ask?"

"You are silent," he simply said and I saw using my peripheral vision that he shrugged his shoulders lightly. "But anyway -"

I cut him off with a question. "We are coming home, should we stay like this?"

"What kind of this?"

"You know, connection."

"Tal -"

"I know, I know. It was just that maybe we should forget everything what happened here once we step on our town? It is for the better."

When he did not utter anything, I looked at him with my pursed lips. He then stared at me like reading what is inside my mind but I just plant a smile on my lips so he would not notice the real feelings inside me. The real emotion that I am feeling and how hurt I am. I want to let the pain and anger out of my system but I just can not, not yet.

I expect him to say something but it turns out that he shut himself, did not want to protest. I just let him, though. I do not want to have a conversation with him right now because I am not in my mood. I actually did nothing but it seems like my body, physically and emotionally, I am tired and drained.

I just found myself resting in my bed after many hour. I closed my eyes and let out a heavy sigh. To our whole trip, I did not talk to Kiel and he did not bother me also like he is letting me to have some time to admire peace and silence.

"Why you did not tell me that you are home?"

I looked at the door when I heard it opened and Zed just welcomed my sight. I let out a laugh when he ran after me and jumped over to give me a hug. "Hey, Zed. I miss you."

"I miss you more," he uttered while hugging me, he then buried his face of my neck, making me groan a little. "Did you had fun there?"

I shook my head. "Not really."

I was lying on the bed and him on top of me, straddling against my leg. I just let him embrace me that way because I miss him too, and there is no wrong about this.

"Why?" he looked at me and raised a brow. I chuckled and encircled my arms around his neck, I then stared at his face and even tousle his now messy hair. "You are with Mister Ramirez, right?"

"Yeah," I simply said and stared at his lips. He bit his lower lip when he caught me looked at it. I did not waste a second and kissed him right away. He was caught off guard for a moment but when I moved my lips against his, he kissed me back passionately.

"Tal," he groaned when I pulled his nape closer. I did not mind him and kissed him deeper. I opened my mouth wide to welcome him and he gladly went inside. It took us some seconds before we let go of each other.

We were both panting when our lips let go. He pressed our forehead together and seek for air. "I miss you, Zed."

I felt him nodding his head a little. "I miss you more, Tal," he whispers and took a peck on my lips that made me smile. "I am so happy right now. You just made my day."

"Hmm, why is that? Are you having a bad day or something?"

He chuckled before he get off on top of me. He lie himself beside me and held my hand. He raised both of our arms, facing the ceiling before he talked.

"I met someone that ruined my whole mood," he said and played with my fingers. I just stared to what he is doing, not even complaining because I like it when he does that to me. I want his hand to hold me because I feel like in any minute, I would be in danger. And the way he hold me, it was like he is afraid to let go of my hand because i might disappear all of a sudden. "I don't know, but I feel like someone is watching me everytime."

My lips parted in horror. "What do you mean?"

He let out a sigh and hissed afterward. "I think there is an eye watching us, Tal."

I bit my lower lip. "Are you joking? You just want to fool me around?"

"I am serious."

"I also feel the same," I said that made him to look at me. He put our hands down from hanging to resting it on the small space between us. "While we were there, I feel one pair of eye watching me."

He almost flinched. He moved a little and made his body to face me. "We should have to be very careful next time."

I agreed. "Yes, but I am still afraid, Zed."

"Tal, I am here. I will not let you in danger, hmm? I will not leave you. I am just a call away."

I closed my eyes shut when I felt him went close to me to kiss my forehead. "Thank you," I whispered while his lips was still pressed on my forehead. I then felt him smile before he get off.

"You are always welcome, Tal. I love you."

I opened my eyes in surprise when he said that. I looked at him with disbelief but he just smiled at me and claimed my lips again. He was so passionate when he kiss me and I am loving it. While he is sucking and biting my lip, a flashback came across my mind. The time when I am Kiel is fucking each other seemed to replay. I then pushed Zed without me noticing it.

"Why?" he asked, confused. He wiped the side of my lips using his thumb and cupped my face, then he stared at my eyes. I can see worry in his eyes but still, the confusion is evident. "I-I am sorry. Did I hurt your lips?"

I shook my head. Even me, I am shocked to what I did. "N-No, I'm sorry. I was just," I paused and sighed. How should I explain this to him? But before I could add a word, he hush me and smiled.

"It is fine, Tal. I am sorry if I just kissed you like that. Anyway, you just went off from a long travel, right? You should rest more."

I forced a smile at him. "Will you stay?"

"You want to?"

I nodded my head, biting my lower lip. He did not complain and sat beside me. He then made me lean my head on his thigh. I sleep with him playing with my hair.

"Talia, baby!" I heard dad calling me while I am playing in a park with my sister. Dad was with Mom and they seemed like so happy to see us having fun together.

"Let's go?" I handed a hand to Dia, my sister. She pouted and shook his head.

"They just called for you, Tal. You should get near them without me."

"Dia -"

"Go on, they called you. I will sit on this swing and just go back here when you are done. I will wait for you."

I have no choice but to nod my head. I walked towards my parents' area and smiled at them. "Dad -"

"Let's go home," he said all of a sudden, smiling. I blinked twice and looked back to the place where Dia is, but to my horror, she is walking away with someone.

"Dia!" I called her but she did not even mind me. I was about to run after her when dad and mom stopped me. I looked at them with my tearing eyes. "Dad, Mom! Dia is getting away! Who is she with?!"

"She will gonna leave us, Talia," mom said in a calm manner like she does not care about Dia at all. "She will be living with your aunt and uncle."

I gulped the imaginary lump that seemed to block in my throat. I started to tear up while following Dia a look. She went inside a car, not bothering to look back at me. I screamed her name, hoping that she might hear me and come back for me, but she just did not - until the car drove away.

"Dia!" I called once again, yelling off my lung. I was trying to get off with my parents' grip on me but I just feel so weak. "Mom, Dad, why?! She is my sister! I do not want it if she is not around!"

Dad shook his head. "I am sorry, but we can't raise you both, Talia. She is better in the hands of your aunt and uncle."

I sobbed and shook my head multiple times. No way. Dia can't leave me, not this time. I do not have someone to play with again. She was just the one who is lifting my mood whenever I am sad. She was the one who is hugging me everytime I need someone to protect me.

"Dia..." I whispered and a tear fell down my cheek. I felt someone wiping my tear off of my cheek before he caress my hair. "I miss you," I added.

"Hush, it is fine," I heard a familiar voice whispered on my ear. I sighed a little and even shook my head.

I held on Zed's hand tightly like I am an afraid kitten. I then hid myself on him. "I am afraid... Please, Zed. Get me away from here..."

"Hush, Talia. You are fine. I am here," Zed whispered and caressed my hair. I continued to shed a tear. He kept on reminding me that I am safe with him and somehow, my mind seemed at peace. Like it agreed that Zed will save me and he will never leave my ass off. "Open your eyes," he commanded which is a hard thing to follow. But still, I forced myself to open my eyes.

Then the white ceiling welcomed my sight. My lips parted as a tear fell for the last time. "I am sorry," I said, staring at nowhere. "I am sorry if I am causing you trouble, Zed."

"Tal, you are not," Zed answered and held more tight on my hand. He hover down and made me look at his eyes. "You are fine, hmm? I am here. I love you, Tal. You are safe with me."

I smiled at him, a faint one because I am too weak. "Thank you for being with me..."

He kissed the top of my head and smiled at me, assuring that he will never leave and he is willing to risk his life for me. Suddenly, I feel afraid for him. What if something bad will happen at him because of me? I just could not stop but to overthink.

"I will just get a water," he said. He did not wait for my response already and went off to get a glass of water just like what he said. I waited for him while I am none of myself, just staring at nowhere and do not know what the right thing to do.

I was lost of myself because of my dream, or maybe, a nightmare. Because that day, when Dia left, it was like the half of me were already missing and I can not find it anymore. After that day, I sleep alone, crying myself out and I could not focus on my stuff. Dad and Mom were getting mad at me because I just cry all the time but I do not care anymore because they just let Dia to leave, not even giving us a time to have a proper farewell.

But then, my anger to my parents did not last long the day when my mother died. And the another half of my half, I lose it again. The pain is like death. That time, I learned to forgive them because I am in regret for making them mad at me and me myself having my anger towards them. That time is also when I started to treasure my father more than anything, even myself, because that is when I realize that no one would stay longer to your life, even any thing.

And then, the day when dad left, I lost myself. Nothing left in my being and I was like already a human with no owner, wandering around and has no purpose and goal in life. Just going with the flow living and just waiting for my death.

"Drink, Tal." Zed went back inside and handed me the glass of water. He guided me to get up for me to drink the water. I need to gain my energy because I feel so weak. Especially that I still have many more thing to do in life.

"Thank you," I told him and handed him back the glass. I then leaned against the headboard of the bed and closed my eyes. "Zed, why?"

"Huh?" he sounded confused with my random remark. I did not open my eyes and let myself to see darkness.

"I am asking why," I repeated, voice were exhausted.

"What do you mean why, Tal?"

I let out a light sigh as pool of tears started to form in my eye again. But I stopped myself from tearing up for another round because Zed would have worry too much for me. "Why," I paused to purse my lips. "Why are you still here when you know that you are not  safe with me?"

He did not answer. I thought he will just keep himself silent but after some second, he responded. "I don't feel like I am in danger at all when I am with you, Talia," he stated, sounding so sincere. "You are my haven."

I forced a smile. "I want you to get away from me. I am afraid, Zed. Something might happen to you.... And I am the reason -"

"Tal, hey, stop that." I may not looking at him, but I know that he is already shaking his head in disapproval. "When you are afraid, that is when I should not leave you. Do not shove me away, please? I will never leave you, Talia. Never."

I shook my head and looked down. I opened my eyes and stared at my hands. I am starting to shed tears again and I do not want Zed to witness it again. "Alright, I'm sorry."

He reached for my hands and made it to press it on his cheek. He also made me look at him in the eye and I can't refuse because I want to meet his eyes this time. "Keep in mind that you might shove me away, I will never listen to you, okay? We both need each other and what we have to do is to hold tight and never loose grip."

I nodded my head. "O-Okay," I said and smiled again, a bitter one. "Thank you so much. I hope we will stay like this, Zed. And I hope we get more strong bond and trust each other."

He kissed the back of my palm. "Just let me love you, Talia. I will do everything for you."