Chapter 4

My footsteps dragged, clashing with the asphalt that now felt like an enemy hindering my escape. This city park, which usually bore witness to Yael and Mei's laughter, now felt foreign. I threw myself down on a wet and cold iron bench. My clothes were soaked, clinging to my skin like a layer of burden I could no longer carry.

My mind spun wildly. Not just about Dad throwing me out onto the street as if I were garbage, but about Kent. That scene from earlier—Kent’s hand wrapped around the girl's waist, their crisp laughter—kept replaying in my head. It felt like a thorn being forcibly ripped from a freshly gaping wound. I laughed, the hoarse sound coming out of my throat sounding out of tune. I threw everything away, leaving behind the comfort of life for the sake of honesty, while the person I made my support turned out to be playing a role behind my back.

"Brother Jose? Brother Jose, is that really you?"

I flinched. My head turned quickly, my neck feeling stiff. There stood Yael, catching his breath. His eyes were puffy, his hair clung wet to his forehead, and the look on his face was full of an anxiety that made my chest feel tight. Seeing him here, in the middle of my destruction, made me feel even smaller. This cheerful younger brother of mine was seeing me in my lowest condition—a brother who had failed completely.

Yael ran toward me, ignoring the puddles of water dirtying his shoes. He cried bitterly, his hands gripping my arm tightly. "Brother, come home. Let's go home. Please," he sobbed. The shaking of his hands made my tired shoulders ache. I shook my head weakly, forcing myself to release his grip. "I can't, Yael. There's no way back home. Dad has made his decision, and I no longer have a place there."

"But where are you going to go? It's already late! It's dangerous out there!" Yael stared at me with pleading eyes. "I can talk to Dad, Brother. I can..." "Don't, Yael," I cut him off firmly, even though my voice shook violently. "Don't get yourself involved. You have a future in that house. You have school, you have dreams to protect. Don't ruin everything just because of your brother's mistake." I imagined Yael having to bear Dad's anger, and that hurt me more than the coldness piercing my bones.

Yael cried even harder. He hugged me, burying his face in my chest. "My life is already a mess, Yael," I said honestly, staring at the empty street. "I was kicked out because of my honesty, and the person I thought was my place to return to turned out to be cheating on me. I have nothing left."

Yael fell silent. His sobbing slowly subsided, replaced by a long draw of breath. He slowly released the hug and looked at me. "Brother," he whispered in a voice that suddenly grew calm. "Actually... I knew." I stared at him in confusion. "Knew what?"

Yael looked down, fidgeting with the edge of his jacket. "About your orientation. About you and Brother Kent." He looked up again, his eyes welling with tears. "One night, I accidentally saw you and Brother Kent hugging in the living room. I've known everything since then."

My heart seemed to stop beating. I froze. All this time I thought I had succeeded in hiding myself perfectly behind the mask of an exemplary child, but it turned out my own brother had witnessed it. "Then... why don't you hate me, Yael?"

Yael smiled faintly. It wasn't a smile of pity, but a genuine one. "Why should I hate you, Brother? You're still my brother. The person who always helped me with my homework, who bought me ice cream when I cried because of my test scores. Your orientation doesn't change the fact that you are the best brother I've ever had."

Those words hit me harder than Dad's slap. In the middle of my destruction, it turned out there was still one person who saw me as a whole human being, not as a disgrace or a piece of garbage. My tears fell without me being able to hold them back anymore.

Yael then reached into his jacket pocket. He pulled out a thick, damp envelope. "Here, Brother." He shoved it into my hand. "This is my savings. I've been saving for two years for a gaming laptop. Just take it. Maybe this can be the start of your new life."

I gasped looking at the envelope. I knew exactly what that laptop meant to Yael. He wanted it so badly for design school. "No, Yael. Don't. You need that. I can't accept it."

"Take it, Brother!" Yael urged, his voice rising an octave. "I can save up again. But you... you need this to survive. For your sake, I'm willing to do anything. Don't reject this, I beg you."

My heart felt squeezed. I accepted the envelope with a shaking hand. We hugged one more time, a hug filled with fear, loss, and genuine affection. These were the last remnants of the home I left behind.

"I have to go, Brother," Yael whispered finally. He pulled away, his eyes showing a new firmness. "If Dad finds out I went out looking for you, he will punish me severely."

He stepped backward, giving a fragile parting smile before finally turning around. The distance between us began to widen. When he reached the corner of the park, he stopped and shouted, his voice breaking the silence of the night. "Brother Jose! When I graduate, I will look for you! Even to the ends of the earth, I will look for you! Don't ever forget me and Mei, okay Brother!"

I laughed bitterly, a voice broken by the remnants of my sobs. "Of course, Yael! Of course!" I shouted back. I kept waving until his back disappeared. Now, I was truly alone. I held the envelope tightly. This money wasn't just paper; it was trust, proof of a love I hadn't taken the time to appreciate before. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my heartbeat that was still running wild.

My resolve hardened. Kent and Dad had already become part of a past I had to burn. I would head toward Meridian City, a coastal city I had only known from social media until now. There, I would reassemble the broken pieces of myself. I would learn to live from scratch. Tomorrow, the old Jose would die here, and a new figure would be born from the remaining courage given by my brother. I would leave, and I would not look back again.