VI

The night was full of thoughts and no sleep, my emotions were haywire and I had no idea why. I was exhausted but got up for the day anyways. Dragging my feet into the bathroom I quickly shed my PJs, letting them fall to the floor. The bathroom was cold-causing goosebumps to appear rapidly over my legs. Without even thinking I hopped in the shower before feeling the water. It was cold at first making my grogginess fade quickly into irritation.

As the water warmed I let out a long sigh releasing the tension slowly from my body. My eyes closed only to hear Sean's husky voice against my mind as the vision of his muscles came into focus. " Get a grip already!" I irritatedly said to myself as I grabbed the face wash and started to scrub my face a little harder than normal.

Once again his words rang in my mind, " why would I do that?" as his calloused fingers rubbed my chest. My hand automatically traced the same space his hand had. The feeling came back from that night, a throb below my belly that caused me to gasp as my hand continued the same journey Seans had.

My phone rang from my room bringing me back into reality.

My mind was fogged as I jumped out of the shower dripping water all over the floor. I rushed to my bedside table grabbing my phone, " Hello?" I said without even looking at who had called. My body trembled as the drops covering me turned cold. " Hey! Can you pick me up? Ryan was going to but he ended up having to take his little sister and I can't be late." Corrie rushed out.

" Yea" I mumbled as I grabbed my towel. " Thanks, see ya soon." She finished before hanging up.

I grabbed some gray sweatpants and a plain white shirt not even caring what I looked like. I honestly didn't even care to go to school today but I had no other choice. " Thanks for answering the phone without looking at the caller ID Em", I mumbled to myself.

The brisk cold again greeted me as I stepped out of the house. The forcefulness of the wind made me pick up speed as I fumbled to unlock the car. " Get it together Em, Get it together". I told myself before turning the engine on and hearing the car come to life.

Corrie had run out of her house before I could even park the car. " What's the hurry?" I asked as she sat and pulled her seat belt on. " Well, you know the winter formal is coming right?" She replied all matter of factly. 

" Well, I need to get a few things in order before the ballots go out today for King and Queen nominations for prom." "Prom? Isn't that in May?"

" Well yeah, but now is the time to get it going Em."

I shrugged as I shifted the car and headed towards the school.

" Oh! I got my dad's credit card, pull in at Roosters real quick, I need a coffee." Corrie announced before I made a left towards the school.

I was glad Corrie convinced me to get coffee, with no sleep last night I honestly needed it. The aroma alone nudged me back to life as I pulled and parked my car in its spot.

" See ya later at lunch k?" she said as she quickly got out of the car and started halfway running to the entrance. I turned off the engine and grasped the styrofoam cup in both hands. I sat there for a minute not wanting to leave the security of my car, yet I knew I needed to.

I took a small sip basking in the warmth as I stared at the building in front of me. Five months and I would no longer have to see it or even enter it. I sighed at the thought before plugging out into the cold weather. Slowly etching my way closer to the door I glared at the parking lot. It was mainly empty with only a hand full of cars parked in their spots.

The wind blew harder making me pick up my pace. As I entered Ms. Applegate's desk was empty with only a dim light coming from her computer screen. I knew we would be early but I did not think we would be this early, Ms. Applegate wasn't even here yet I thought to myself as I started down the hall. It was going to be a long day. The school felt strange without the chatter, footsteps and loud noises I am used to hearing. The hallways were dim, peaceful, and quiet compared to the loudness I would regularly hear in the halls.

I reached my locker eager to gather my items for the morning. However, my mind wandered again to Sean as a vision of him pinning me to the lockers emerged. " Get a grip!" I practically shouted causing an echo to flow down the hallway. Panic followed causing my heart to beat faster. I glanced to the right and then to the left thinking someone had heard, but no one was there. What is wrong with me? I thought as I slammed the locker shut and headed toward the art room.

My creative space was just what I needed to focus on the day and get out of whatever this funk was. The art room was at the far end of the building just past the cafeteria and gym. As I got closer to the cafeteria the smell of fresh bread invade the hallway. It was a pleasant smell that made me relax a little as I turned the corner. It reminded me of Corrie's mom and all her amazing baking smells I have grown to love throughout the years.

The Cafeteria was a decent size with floor-to-ceiling windows and two big metal doors in the center, that you would enter or leave. I could see the cafeteria ladies sitting at one of the tables through the windows they had cups and plates in front of them, probably eating before they started their day. I continued past the double doors and turned left towards the art room. As I passed a few more classes and lockers I heard a loud crash that startled me. I turned in the direction of the noise but saw nothing.

" It was probably something in the cafeteria," I said to myself as I shrugged and turned right down another hall full of lockers. Halfway down this hall were two big metal doors that lead to the gym. The smell of old and musk filled my nose as I got closer. It was more like a bad foot odor, one that was pungent and left staleness in the air. I don't get why gyms always smell of feet, I thought as I scrunched up my nose trying not to inhale the foul odor.

" Damn it!" someone shouted from inside the gym. I picked up my pace trying to hurry to pass the double doors. I knew that voice and I didn't care to check if I was right as I rushed faster passed the gym. Before I could make my last turn into the art room the metal doors slammed open behind me. I didn't want to look, I didn't care too, I just needed to open the art room door and slide in. For some reason I couldn't, I was frozen in place.

" Hey, there, just the person I was needing to see," a deep o so familiar voice called out.

" Leave me alone!" I protested as I grabbed the handle to the art room door and turned it in an attempt to run in.

"You know I can't do that!" Sean said as he pushed the door holding it shut before I was able to pull it open.

I didn't want to look at him, not after yesterday and all those weird feelings. " Just please" I softly pleaded as I continued to hold on to the door handle keeping my eyes on the ground.

A soft chuck came from him as he moved his body closer, pushing my frontside into the door. The smell of sweat pinged my nostrils as he used his strong body to push mine closer to the door. I could feel his hard chest on my back even through the thick layer of my jacket. His fingers barely grazed my neck as his lips came near my ear.

" I like it when you plead" his husky deep voice warmed the tip of my ear. My body shivered in response. " Why don't you just give in Em?" 

Give in? Oh was I about to give him this hot coffee all over his smug face, yet I couldn't bear to. My heart pounded as his lips touched my ear, all I felt was intense heat emerging from my core.

" I won't bite too hard." he crocked out. I was paralyzed with fear but my body was betraying me. So many words were at the tip of my tongue, yet I had no voice to express them.

Sean's callus fingers traced the line of my chin till he stopped and forced my head to turn in his direction. His grip on my chin was rough, my body continued to pulsate. My eyes widened as his face was inches away from mine.

" W.. what do you want Sean?" I whimpered.

" I want you", he said a matter of factly.

His clear brown eyes bore into mine causing more pulsating throbs below my belly.

" I know you agree, I can smell your arousal" his perfect lips side smirked as he kept his eyes locked on mine.

"My w..what?" I stuttered.

" There's something about you, you smell different than others, sweet and tangy. It is almost unbearable when I am this close to you," he whispered as his lips edge dangerously closer to mine.

His warm breath smelled of spearmint as before, it was inviting, and I could almost taste it. My heart pounded as the pulsating in my body increased.

" Fuck Em!" his words shocked me back to reality as his fits pounded above me on the door. He turned and started back towards the gym doors leaving me perplexed and glued in place.

Just like that, he was gone disappearing behind the metal doors and my mind followed. I wasn't sure how long I stood there, not even sure if I was breathing till the morning bell rang so loud stunning me back to reality. For the rest of the day, my body moved around going through the routine but my mind was somewhere else.

" Any plans for this weekend?" Ellis asked nudging me. " Um.. huh?"

" Earth to Emiry…any plans for this weekend. With being new and all I have no idea what you guys do in this small town for fun."

" Oh." I smiled " Um, nothing much at all…or I'm not sure, I know the winter formal is Saturday, only because Corrie is so stressed out about it." " Great! So I'll pick you up at 5? We can eat before we hit up the dance?" " We? Are you asking me to winter formal?" I said with a hint of shock and a slight sense of excitement. Ellis smiled showing his oh-so-cute dimples.

 " Well, yea, who else? Emiry would you go to the winter formal with me?" His eyes sparkled as he officially asked.

I stared at him for what must have been a very long time before I answered. " Sure, why not?" I slowly dragged out. I had never been asked to do anything with a boy before. I have never even thought about boys as much as I have the past few days. Heck, I am still a virgin and will probably stay that way till marriage right? Just looking into his crystal-clear blue eyes made dozens of butterflies flutter in my stomach. My palms felt moist from all the nerves that were building up inside me. 

" Great, I'll text you later." he grabbed his bag and left the art room.

Could this day have gotten any weirder? I quickly got my phone out to text Corrie everything but stopped. I hadn't mentioned Sean to her at all, should I? I don't even know what to tell her or even where to start. I think I am falling for the jackass bully, or maybe he likes me? And then there's Ellis, I don't even know what to say.

 I decided to wait and think it over a little more before blurting out anything. I tossed my phone in my backpack and put my jacket on. Sleep, that's what I needed as the toll of the day was feeling heavy on my eyes. Before I managed to leave I felt my phone vibrate in my bag. I set my bag on the closest table and dug for it.

Finally feeling it between my fingers I pulled it out and answered.

" Hello."

" Hey, no need for a ride Ryan is going to take me home he wants to hang!" Corrie's giggled.

" Ok, have fun, and don't do anything I wouldn't do." I teased at her.

" Girl, you wouldn't do anything. " She laughed while my eyes automatically went into an eye roll. But she was right, I didn't even know what I was doing right now. " Later," I said before tossing my phone back into my backpack.

" She is right, I wouldn't do anything or even know how to," I said to myself. Luckily most everyone left with the teacher except for Ellis and I was left alone in the art room. But I hadn't even put thought into being left alone with the hottest guy in school. My mind was just so clouded that my painting reflected it. I glanced over at my canvas and scrunched my nose. Yesterday my painting was blue with white clouds and a gray tree limb sprouting around and off the canvas.

Now it was all murky, gray like the day changed to rain without even realizing it. Maybe I needed to talk with Sean like really talk. But each time I was near him I felt like a mouse cowardly moving away from its predator.

And why now? Ellis just came into my life, and never in a million years would I think I would have a chance with someone like that, but he freaking just asked me to the dance. I mean come on! I have never even been to dance here at this miserable school. I took a deep breath, " Sleep Em, that's all you need". I grabbed my bag and headed toward the other end of campus to exist closer to where I parked.

Leaving the building behind the cold seemed to work its way through my clothes as small snow flurries fell to the ground. I rushed to start my car, knowing it would take a while to warm up. I rubbed my hands together as the defroster took its time to unice the windows. " More time to think," I said as I blew warmth to my ice-cold hands. But no thoughts came just emptiness as the white window slowly became see-through again.

I reached to turn on the windshield wipers to help speed the process when I noticed a white paper stuck between the blades.Grr, I thought as I plugged back into the cold quickly grabbing the paper.I sat back in the warm car as I unfolded it. 

Emiry,

Look, I am sorry, sorry for everything but I honestly can't help it. Something happened to me a few years ago, something I will have to explain in person. Meet me behind the gym today.

Sean.