Chapter Twelve- Three Mornings And Staying Behind A Pantry Door

Seren’s Pov

On the first evening I went to throw up in the pantry.Whilst on the second I blamed it the fish and on the third upon my nervousness plus now the registry was over my entire body quivered. I had fallen onto my knees upon the cool stone floor with my forehead laid against a bag of flour. My troubled breathing echoed inside my ears. I heard the voice, sounding rather like my mother’s although I couldn’t recall this to be true.

'Grow up Seren.'

I stayed there for a long time, longer then I thought necessary. My knees numbed and we could hear the clatter of the kitchen through the door.

I wasn’t ready. Yes I had been bought but I wrote my own version of events. Whilst earlier it had said in black ink I had put meaning into my mind which hadn’t happened. Now however my body was somewhat rebelling. Go figure.

Maybe it was just the contract. Maybe it had nothing to do with us bonding, maybe I had just ended up doing what I was paid to.

I pushed my hand hard against my mouth, breathing deeply.

—

It had been a long walk to get to the healers cottage. It sat at the end of the estate gardens. The scent of crushed mint filled the air as I told Caelum and Rysen that I wanted to take a walk. I told them both I needed some fresh air. Both looked at me for a little longer then normal but didn’t stop me. I knew how hard they were trying not to ask questions.

It had been an old lady named Marguerite. Her hair had been pulled up into tight plaits running from her skull and her hands had looked like gnarled roots. I hadn’t had to tell her anything. She just looked at me and then closed the door with a bang. She moved the curtain and motioned me towards a small bed located at the end of the room.

'Lay down child.’

Her apprentice stood beside the shelves. She looked to be barely seventeen; her huge eyes looked at me, clasping her hands together and resting them on her apron. Marguerite looked at her over her shoulder and waved her off. The girl instantly picked up a bowl from the back room and then bounded back towards the bed. As she came up to me, I caught sight of her wondering eyes as she passed me and again my curiosity overtook me.

Marguerite placed her hands gently against my stomach and her eyes shut. I grew very bored and started to count. One. Two. Eleven. Fourteen.

'My dear,’ she spoke softly. 'How long ago did you last... bleed?'

I gasped, then bit my lips together. I counted down in my head. Twelve. Eleven. Ten. Nine... My world dropped.

'Almost seven weeks.'

'Hmm.’ She opened her eyes. They were an icy grey colour. So kind. I felt my eyes leave hers. 'You are pregnant. Both of you. Not for long however, but I can still feel their heartbeat inside of you. Your heartbeat isn’t the only one they’re sharing with you either. But I can feel two (if I’m right from what I’m seeing). Strong. Although early.’

I sucked in.

Two.

There were two of them. The Alphas, our two bloodlines, our two hearts we hadn’t even met. Wasn’t that what the old texts had said? That there would be such a struggle with the fertility bloodline? That it was stimulated by the twins bond? I had read it myself in that cold study but never thought it would apply to me.

'Is it hurting?' I asked stupidly. I was just acting stupid.

'No. Only slightly from the fear but everyone does. Don’t worry.’ Her thumb moved lightly and circularly against my skin. 'Two girls have died in this house prior to you.’

'I know.'

'They died because the child wasn’t right for them. Their bloodline was struggling inside of them. However yours isn’t. You have been waiting so long for this. Whether you are what you are or that means something to you, these babies inside aren’t struggling. They are keeping you safe.’

I buried my head into the small pillow provided. Tears fell from my eyes.

I wasn’t really sure why. Perhaps it was relief that I wasn’t going to die like they did? Or just sadness at losing two girls, whatever their names. Or quite simply massive fear. However beneath all of this was an overpowering emotion. Something so new. Something fierce.

Desire.

I desired them.

Marguerite didn’t move. Didn’t speak or touch me, instead patiently waited. Once I had finally sat up and rubbed my whole face with my sleeve, she offered me a cup of the chamomile tea her apprentice had brought to me. I held my shaking hands round the cup.

'You’ll want to tell them.’

'Not yet.' I gasped. 'Please don’t mention it.'

Her pale eyes flickered slightly. 'The healers code means whoever is laying on this bed. I will keep silent. However Alphas can easily smell secrets. You have days to tell them, not weeks.'

'I know.'

'However,' she whispered. 'My apprentice is young and likes to eavesdrop. I’ll talk to her, but I cannot guarantee how a scared child will react to something they don’t understand.'

I nodded my head, feeling a shiver run up my spine. I should have questioned what this meant. Should have made a stand.

But I was trying to stay composed.

—

I made my way back through the garden of herbs. I placed my hand against my stomach as I walked slowly. I was feeling very confused. The sun was low and casting the world a glowing golden colour. Somewhere outside the walls of the house was a lone wolf howling. For the first time in my life I didn’t truly care. In fact it made my heart race.

There were two.

I placed my palm against my chest and whispered into the empty garden. I whispered the words I felt in my chest. It surprised me. It completely made real sense.

Despite wanting to tell Caelum. To see his carefully crafted mask fall apart, to have Rysen’s eyes light up with true interest then lose his clever side. My knees almost buckled in the middle of the herb garden.

I also wanted to do something different.

I wanted it to be mine.

Everything important in my life over the past nineteen years had been decided upon, sold or announced. My price, my bloodline, my body had been measured and placed within a registry with a council physician standing over. However now I just wanted to hold something nobody else knew about. Nobody else to measure or give it political value.

I just wanted it to be mine for a few days.

When I returned to the main house I saw Rysen stood on the steps with his usual grin plastered across his face. His arms were crossed across his chest and he looked so young. His grin made my chest crack down the middle.

'There you are Luna! Feast in three days time. Already Caelum is moaning so it must be a great idea! Will you wear the silver?'

I looked at him. At his carefree gleam and outstretched hands.

'Yes.' I happily replied, entwining my fingers with his.

I hid my truth. Just for a short while.

It was only for three days. I could keep a secret for three days.

Who knows how many ears I had behind that pantry door.