001

Laia

I stand in line with the others my age, and some a little older. The almost-19-year-olds who weren’t old enough last year this time, stand in the beginning of the line. Maybe they feel more excited than I do… or maybe they’re just as nervous. All of us wait for the Moon Ritual to begin.

Elder Nyssara, wearing her ceremonial robes, chants in a self-important voice, "Once a year, under the sacred Winter Solstice Moon when the Longest Night rules the skies, Goddess wanders the earth to bless this Water of Fate. Drink, and if not scorned by the Moon, you shall sense your destined one.".

My eyes dart from the elder and the bowl of Water of Fate in her hands to the one person I can’t stop thinking about. Blue eyes lock on me, face cold and demanding my obedience. 

The line shuffles forward, the girl in the front eyeing the pearl bowl with at least 5 emotions on her pretty face. I rub my sweaty palms on my jeans, my heart in my throat, and look back at him again. 

His eyes, full of malice, haven’t moved from me.

Oh, damn me for daring to dream. For daring to wish. For thinking, even for a second, I could have this night like a normal girl. For fuck’s sake, I shouldn’t even be excited. 

Cael, our Alpha’s eldest son... All I can remember is last night and the threat he pressed into me.

“Say you’re mateless, Laia.” His warning crashes into my head, flat and cold as river ice, leaving no room for argument.

I blink. Once. Twice. Reality rushes back.

Drums beat low and steady in the night, each sound matching the fast thump of my heart. The full moon shines high above the peaks of the trees, its silver light covering the clearing where the giant fires burn bright on both sides.

I’m about to walk down and drink that water. The same water I dreamed about for eighteen years. And even after I drink, I’ll have to lie.

What if I don’t? What if...

“No matter what you feel, Laia… don’t you dare say a thing.” His voice thunders in my skull again. It isn’t last night anymore, but I can still feel his fingers like iron around my wrist, his stare like winter. He barked orders and didn’t stop.

Even if I wanted to refuse…I can’t. Cael’s trying to prove more than a fucking point.

“Think carefully, Laia. Whatever stupid decision you make, remember your little brother. Unless you want Liam to lose everything, his Alpha’s favor, his school, his meals, his future. I can strip it all away with a single word.” The words landed like hammer blows.

Liam's face flashes in my mind, small, stubborn, trusting. The memory pins me harder than any hand ever could.

Names are called. One by one, people step up to the stone basin.

My gaze darts to Cael again, looking for something, anything merciful,, hoping he'll call off the threat. He stands with the other ranked wolves, half a head taller than the rest, arms folded, jaw locked. He doesn’t look at me again.

The line shrinks.

A girl in front of me drinks, staggers, then smiles so wide she’s all teeth. She turns, hand pressed to her chest, and beelines for the shy handsome guy with messy hair and crooked teeth, at the edge of the clearing, his eyes large and awestruck, his arms open waiting for her. The crowd hums, pleased. Good for her.

My turn.

I step forward. The ground is hard and frosted. Each crunch of my boots feels too loud.

Up close, the basin is older than anything, stone worked smooth by centuries of hands. The elder dips the cup. Liquid shivers.

“May the Moon guide your feet and guard your heart,” she says, offering it to me.

My fingers wrap around the cold surface. Cael’s warning scrapes through my head again... “Say you’re mateless”.

My brother’s smile flares behind my closed lids.

I lift the cup. The rim kisses my lips, and I gulp down the contents in one go.

My belly hollows out and all I see is a red ghost-like thread spinning around me, stretching its tendrils out, and reaching, reaching, reaching someone… Cael! 

"MATE!" echoes inside of me filling every corner of my being with light and hope and I feel the urge to say the word out loud, to run to him and let him wrap his strong arms around me, to tell me that everything will be ok... 

He's watching me like I am a problem to be solved.

He knows. He fucking knows. 

His face is stone cold, his teeth grinding together... 

The elder’s hand steadying my shaking wrist startles me and I jerk my eyes away from the blue ones.. 

“Do you feel it, child?” she asks softly. What a farce. She probably doesn’t even know my name.

Every instinct in me says yes. Every memory of last night tells me to lie.

I swallow hard.

“I…” My voice scrapes. The crowd waits. The drums fade. Even the fires seem to hold their breath. “I feel nothing,” I say.

Whispers from the gathering stab through my chest like knives. The three words I just said slam into me.

Mateless. It means I am Mateless.

And everyone here knows what that means. What if they exile me and Liam is left behind? I am a bad omen now, a curse from the Goddess. I look at the elders watching me carefully. These wolves are superstitious enough to throw me and Liam out.

In this instant, I despise Cael. He’s every bit the villain I prayed the Moon wouldn’t throw at me.

 The lifelong resentment and fury spikes through my spine, scolds the back of my neck, and burns in front of my eyes momentarily blinding me. 

Then my gaze narrows on Lysandra,. Cael’s arm wrapped around her waist protectively. Of course. She’s probably the real reason he threatened me last night. Her eyes are on me, like she already knows the ending to this story.

I drag my gaze away from Lysandra and back to the elders when I hear the whispers. 

“Her eyes… look at them.”

“Silver. Blazing like the twin full moons.”

The same elder who handed me the cup leans toward the others, whispering, almost afraid of her own words.

“The Moon has touched her.”

I almost snort. Delirious old wolves. 

If I were Moon-touched why… why would my own mate throw me away?