Aurora

"Who told you that I hate you, Aurora Russo?" 

His words made me freeze as I looked into his eyes with many emotions. The weight of those words fell heavily on my heart and for a moment it forgot how to beat. My breaths turned short and my stomach flipped when his eyes travelled to my parted lips. 

He doesn't hate me? 

"I-Isn't it obvious? Our families-"

"Yes, little dove, our families, not us." He finished the sentence with an unknown emotion. The beating of my heart increased and I feared that even he could hear it. 

"That doesn't make any sense" I spoke and a shiver ran down my spine when he enclosed the distance between us, our noses brushed against each other and his hot breath fanned over my lips. The essence of the whiskey and his wood cologne made my senses numb. It was so addictive. 

"Does it have to? I know you feel something too, if that weren't the case then you would have pushed me away or to start with, would have thrown hands at me when I had kissed you that night" He whispered in a deep voice as his lips were so close to mine. I closed my eyes when his hands touched my waist, the warmth of his skin made me euphoric. Is it really happening? Does that mean he likes me and I can expect something from this relationship? 

"Tell me Aurora, what do you feel?" He whispered as his lips travelled to my ear, giving it a soft kiss that made me let out a small gasp. "Fuck" He cursed under his breath as he inhaled my scent while burying his face deep into my neck, making me open my mouth a bit in response to his bold act. "You are going to be the death of me little dove" He rasped in a harsh voice while I was too stunned to speak. The magic that his touches and mere words were doing to my body was beyond any explanation. I was out of control. 

The rational part of mine was telling me that this was happening too quickly, that he had a motive behind these acts and that I should not trust him since he was the son of my father's enemy. But the irrational part of mine told me to open my heart and accept that I have been feeling something towards him for a very long time. That I should take the risk and have no regrets. 

"What m-made you feel this way?" I breathed out and sided with the rational part of mine. I can't let him have his way with me when I know how his reputation has been. He was a playboy, his rumours of sleeping with other women still echoed in the back of my ears. I can't let that slide, what if he was just desiring me for my body? His behaviour changed after our kiss, and maybe he was doing all these things just to sleep with me. Just to use me. And he also had the privilege of leaving me and coming back to me since I was his wife. 

No, I can't let my pride at sake. 

He stopped and pulled away, looking into my eyes with confusion. "What do you mean?" His question made me chuckle in disbelief as I shook my head and softly pushed him, creating a distance between us. 

"You said you don't hate me. Does that mean you have feelings for me?" I asked with a bit of hope in my eyes. I want to hear from his mouth, that he was ready for commitment and that this relationship, this marriage was not just a duty but something that has a meaning. For both of us. But my heart shrank when his silence gave me the answer. All of the hopes, even though they were just tiny, shattered like glass and pierced my heart, making it bleed. I was stupid. So so stupid for falling for his tricks. He was Armando Russo for a reason. 

"I knew it. You just wanted me for my body, nothing else. I don't mean anything to you, and even if you don't hate me I now hate you for sure" I spoke as my voice broke a bit, the ache in my chest was increasing with each passing minute but I refused to look weak in front of his eyes. He has played his part very well, and I can't let him make a fool of me anymore. He never cared to start with. "Have fun with your other women, I am not the one for your desires" I turned around and walked towards my room with tears slowly falling down my cheeks. 

I didn't look back and left him, deciding to let go of the feelings that I had for him as well. 

ARMANDO

Silence.

Silence engulfed the hall after Aurora left, leaving me in the chaos of emotions. The way her eyes held hope, the way they expressed a longing for my genuine care and love, made me silent. 

And scared.

I was never taught to express myself, never taught to be soft for someone. I only knew how to become powerful and how to use people's weaknesses against them. Love? I never knew what that emotion was. The only emotions I have ever felt were hatred, aggression, and dominance. But today, as she left me alone in this intense silence, I felt something new. The ache in my heart emerged out of nowhere which took me by surprise. I never knew I was capable of feeling something like this. Seeing her hopes shattered and the way her eyes expressed resentment afterwards, made me suffocated. When she said that she hated me now, those words felt like needles that pierced all over my body. This emotional pain was worse than the physical ones that I encountered so far. Heck, I was even hit by a bullet but that pain was nothing compared to this one. 

I was hurt. 

And angry at myself for being such a coward. 

"Have fun with your other women" There were no other women and I didn't have any idea what she was talking about. But I was in a dilemma myself. Why I didn't answer when she asked me that question? Was it because I didn't trust myself with her or was it because I was scared to hurt her? I chased her, got jealous when I saw her with another guy and got scared when she ignored me and didn't answer my calls. I would never do something like this for anyone but I did all those things for her. Yes, I liked her. I had way before our marriage, but my pride and family rivalry didn't let me accept this truth. 

I was scared of what my father would think of me, and to tame this feeling I started to have fun with other women who threw themselves at me, to get rid of the thoughts of how would it feel to have her all to myself. How would it feel to claim her and tell her that she was only mine and no one else's? How would it feel to tell her that even though we are forbidden from feeling this way, I would not let her go? But now, that she was my wife I destroyed the hope that could have brought us closer. 

Why didn't I say out loud that yes, I have feelings for you Aurora? 

"Fuck" I cursed under my breath and ran my fingers through my hair in frustration. I cannot let this slide, I have to do something but before that, I needed to know what made her think that I just want her for my desires. I didn't think twice and walked towards her room with long and fast steps, with the determination to demand answers and to know what she thought about me. 

I stopped in front of the closed door and could not ignore the soft cries from the other side of the room. And again, that aching feeling came back, making my chest twist in pain. Her cries were unbearable to hear. I turned the knob of the door in the hopes of being open, and to my surprise it was. And there she was, lying on the bed while curled up under the soft mattress. Her cries weren't loud, they were soft and muffled as if she were hiding them. I walked slowly and whispered. 

"Aurora" My voice was soft, it even sounded new to my ears. 

She stopped and the room went silent. 

"Go away" Her voice was muffled as she spoke, still curled up under the blanket, not daring to come out. My eyes softened as I looked at her. I never expected that she would be so soft and fragile from the inside, the complete opposite of what she was in front of the whole world, including me. The sudden urge to protect her, to keep her safe emerged inside my heart as I stared at her. 

"I can't. I was responsible for this baby" I replied and slowly sat down next to her, on the edge of the bed. Her body stiffened but I carried along and slowly grabbed the blanket to pull it away from her. 

"Don't! Why are you doing this?" She raised her voice and kept her hold firm, stopping me from looking at her. Maybe she was doing this not to look weak in front of me, but she had no idea how weak I was in comparison to her. I was so weak that the thought of her leaving me made my heart stop. 

"Because I won't be able to live with this thing that I made you cry. I am sorry baby, please hear me once and look at me" I replied and again tried to pull the blanket away from her face. She didn't protest this time and stayed in that position, her back was facing me. "I am not playing with you Aurora. I never did" I started and looked at her who was silently listening. "It's just, that it was hard for me to accept the fact that I have the capability of caring for someone who was forbidden to start with. I have had feelings for you, way before even I could remember. When I first saw you in that blue dress when we were kids I knew that you were special. But the history of our families made me stop, and I decided to subdue what I felt and focus more on business just like my father wanted. But when I got the news that I was going to marry you, I felt like I had achieved something that I always desired. And yet, still decided to keep my distance since I knew you didn't like me, but it was also impossible for me not to care about you" I confessed and looked at her. 

She slowly turned around and looked into my eyes with her red puffy ones, making me feel worse. I promise to myself that I won't let her cry, ever in future. I never realised that I treasured her that much, that my feelings were so deep until now. 

"Why didn't you answer me back then? And who gave you the right to make assumptions about how I felt?" 

"Because I was scared baby. Scared of myself, that I might hurt you or sabotage things because that's how I am" I answered honestly as a lump formed in my throat. 

"That's for me to decide, not you" She replied in a soft voice and continued. "I thought you did all those things because you wanted to sleep with me, just like your other women" 

"There are no other women Aurora, you are the only woman in my life" I interrupted and stared into her eyes with seriousness. "As I said before, I was ignoring my feelings since I knew I couldn't have you, but all that changed when we got married and I stopped doing all those things. I haven't touched anyone, and I never will" Her eyes turned soft and she touched my cheek, the feeling made my heart warm. 

"I am still hesitant. I don't know" Her voice was timid as she spoke and my heart flipped seeing her so adorable under me. God! I never thanked you for anything but I am for this moment. 

"I was too, but if you are ready and if you let me, I will prove that this marriage is not just for convenience, it's also about us. Only if you will let me, we will do things according to your pace. Just don't hate me" I whispered as I kissed the back of her hand that was on my cheek. 

She smiled as the shine in her eyes came back. 

"Okay" 

[TO BE CONTINUED]