74

74

Riley

I don’t even remember how I got back home.

One minute, I was in the hospital, sitting beside Ethan, begging him to wake up. The next, I was standing in front of my apartment door, my whole body numb.

I turned my head, and there it was—Ethan’s apartment.

The door was closed, just like always. His name still on the small metal plate next to the number. Everything looked the same. But it wasn’t.

He wasn’t inside, making his stupid protein shakes that smelled awful. He wasn’t blasting music way too early in the morning. He wasn’t there to throw open his door, grinning at me like I was the best part of his day.

I choked on a sob.

Fuck.

Tears blurred my vision as I stumbled forward, pressing my hand against his door like maybe—maybe—I could feel something. Some warmth. Some trace of him.

I felt nothing but cold wood.

I hated this. I hated how weak I felt.

I hated that I was crying.

Had I become a girl now? Some pathetic, lovesick idiot who only realized what she wanted when it was