Jane

Jane

As I walked through the hallway, my mind drifted to the old book I found in Alpha Liam's study. That book had something I should know. The way I reacted to that book was not ordinary. 

The way it seemed to hum in my veins. I needed to see it again. I needed to understand why it felt like a part of me. It could answer my questions, if not all of them. 

With determination, I went to his study again. I shouldn't have gone back there. But something kept pulling me there. I don't know if it was curiosity or a supernatural connection. 

The door creaked as I stepped inside.

The scent of him still lingered in the air, strong with something darker. It felt like a warning but I didn't adhere to it. Instead, I moved swiftly. 

I moved toward the shelf where I’d first seen the burnt book, my fingers trembling as I reached for the stack. I searched through the first stack, then the second and found nothing. 

“It should be here,” I told myself as I searched through it again. 

“Looking for something?” The voice struck me like a whip.

I spun around as shock threatened to suffocate me.

Alpha Liam stood by the door, his arms were folded, his eyes dark with something between fury and disappointment. 

“I…I” I stuttered, unsure of how to start my explanation. 

His present caught me by surprise and wiped words out of my mouth. I don't know if I should tell him the truth or lie about what I was looking for. I don't even have any lie on the tip of my tongue. 

“What are you doing in my study?” He asked, laying emphasis on the last word. 

“I didn't mean to,” I said, stepping away from the shelf.

“Did you by chance sleep walk here?” he asked as he took a step forward.

“Yes… no… I mean I didn't sleep walk,” I said, mentally slapping myself for getting caught by him. 

“Care to give me a reasonable explanation,” he said, taking another step forward.

“I was looking for you,” I said without thinking. 

“Looking for me between those books?” he said as he stepped forward again. “What am I? A book?” 

“Yes… no, you are not a book.”

“Then what the fuck were you looking for?” He snapped as he closed the space between us.

Even if I wanted to answer, I couldn't answer because of him. The way he closed the space between us made my mind blank. The only thing I could think of was his scent and his body. 

I couldn't look him in the eyes but I could feel him looking down at me. I could feel his gaze boring into my head. If looks could kill, I would be a lifeless body right now. 

Without taking a step back, he reached for the shelf and brought down something. 

As he dropped his hand, I froze as I saw the whip. 

The same one he had teased me with the first time. 

My heart lurched into my throat as I stared at the whip in his hand. 

I looked up, my gaze met his. “Alpha Liam, I'm sorry, it wasn't my intention to get caught,” I stammered, taking a shaky step back.

He took one step forward to close the space I created. And his eyes never left mine. “But it was your intention to enter my study without my permission.”

I tried again. “I just wanted to see the book again. I wanted to understand why I felt something when I touched it.”

He raised the whip slightly, but he didn't strike. It was enough to make me freeze.

“Your feelings are irrelevant, Jane,” he said, his voice low. “I don't give a damn about what you felt when you touched the book.”

Tears burned behind my eyes as I couldn't take it anymore.

“You don't give a damn but I do.” I cried. “Yes! I was looking for the book! I don’t know why it felt… familiar. I don't know why I feel like I’ve seen it before. Like it has something to do with me.”

I expected punishment. I expected him to yell.

But instead he dropped the whip on the ground and grabbed me by the neck. His hand wrapped around my throat, not tightly, not enough to hurt, but enough to hold me still.

His eyes were still boring into mine as fury radiated from him. 

“You are worse than the curse burning inside of me,” he said, voice cold, “You are a curse in human form.”

I wanted to talk. To tell him that I'm not a curse. I wanted him to know that I was doing it for him. To know that I, Jane, wanted him to get better. To get free from the curse. But I didn't. What's the essence of letting him know now. He already hates me more than ever. 

“I don’t know what spell you’ve cast,” he hissed, “but I hate how you linger in my head. I hate how I feel drawn to you. I hate your voice. I hate your scent. I hate your curiosity. I hate everything.”

Something inside me cracked. What was he talking about? Wait! Did he just say I lingered in his head? That he feels drawn to me? 

“Focus Jane,” my inner voice said. “He might feel drawn to kill you. He said he hates your voice, your scent and everything about you.”

“But you didn't feel that way when you held me like your life depended on it,” I mumbled without thinking of the consequences.

I was expecting him to snap again but he didn't. Instead, he released me like I was nothing. 

And just like that, I was free to go, but my legs had been glued to the ground. 

“Stay away from me. Stay away from my study,” he said. 

I bolted from the room, my eyes blurred with tears and my heart shattered beyond repair. I didn’t stop running until I reached my room. I slammed the door behind me as the sobs tore out of me.

How dare he ask me to stay away when he was the one that came to me last night? He said he hates everything about me without caring if it hurt me or not. He is just selfish. He is an ingrate and I'll repay him for the humiliation. 

Despite the bitterness inside of me, I knew that whatever this was between us was beyond me. It hurt more than I ever thought it could.