I'm Only Human

Lyra

Confusion overwhelms me, and I don’t know what to do.

My entire body erupted in warm, electric shivers when the Alpha King’s hand brushed against mine. That, and the way his gaze penetrated straight into my soul, had my heart thumping so hard I could almost hear it.

Then, he ran out, as soon as his mother was in the hands of the doctor, which I suppose they call a healer here.

I’m not sure how I managed to stand back out of the way, but I can barely feel my legs now the way those strange trembles are still rumbling through my body.

There’s another feeling that I just don’t understand, the burning ache coiled around every nerve as he sprinted out the door. The sensation has calmed now, but only slightly, still lingering and causing my hands to quiver.

Flexing my fingers at my sides, I try to quell the emotion and remember to breathe. More people hurry in, circling around the Queen Mother and ensuring her comfort.

The maiden who had been serving refreshments all day, who like me had been frozen in place as the medical team worked on her superior, finally notices me and steps over, gently placing a warm hand on my shoulder. “The Queen Mother will need to rest now,” she says softly. “It’s probably best if you go back to your room.”

I nod but look hopelessly toward the now-open door and the expansive hallways beyond. “I don’t think I know the way,” I tell her.

She turns back to the Queen Mother, who is still unconscious. The medical team is moving her into another room in the back of the suite, which I assume is her bedroom. She turns back to me. “I won’t be needed here for a few minutes,” she says. “I can show you the way.”

“Thank you,” I tell her.

Her steps are fast and light, and I’m beginning to think wolf shifters have some sort of innate speed about them, even when they’re in human form. But I keep up, anxious to get back to my room, excited that I’ll find Cally there waiting.

I’ll be so glad she’s no longer in that horrible dungeon, I’ll help her bathe and brush out her hair—gently—myself. Hopefully, they’ve provided some clean dresses for her.

The labyrinth of hallways is still impossible to understand, especially while I’m practically jogging next to the woman. But finally, she stops at the familiar set of double doors outside my suite. 

“Here we are,” she says. “Please stay in your room until the Queen Mother calls for you again. Esmerelda will handle your meals.”

I can’t help the expression that pours over my face at the mention of Esmerelda’s name. I’m in no hurry to see that woman again.

She giggles. “I understand your hesitation,” she says. “Esmerelda is a bit harsh at first, but once you get to know her, I’m sure you’ll become friends.”

I don’t see how that’s possible, but I’m willing to try it.

“I’d better get back,” she continues. “Esmerelda will check in periodically.”

“Thank you,” I say. “What’s your name?”

Her face brightens at the request. “Oh, I’m Lizzy.”

“I hope to see you again soon, Lizzy,” I tell her. “Thank you for being so kind.”

“My pleasure.” She gives a wave and disappears around a corner before I can say anything else.

The large, ornate double doors are heavier than I expect, but then again, I’m likely still weak from my time in the dungeon, which only ended this morning. I guess it’ll take some time before I feel close to normal.

Will my life ever be normal again? I suppose not.

With a strong push, I manage to get past those large doors and into the entryway, where I happily turn the knob and step in. “Cally?” I call out.

But I’m greeted with nothing but my own echo.

“Cally?”

It’s been all day. She has to be here.

A heaviness sets into my chest as I run toward the bathing room, even checking behind the curtain to see if she’s already in the tub.

Nothing.

I hurry down the inner hallway toward the servant’s room, choking on my breath. No, I have to stay calm. She must be here. She probably just didn’t hear me.

But as I turn the knob, I already know she’s not there.

The servant’s room is dark, but I grab a lantern from the hallway table and step inside. Cally definitely isn’t here. In fact, it doesn’t look like anyone’s lived in this room for a while. Furnishings are covered in plastic, and the bed is completely stripped. Even the washroom is quiet, dark, untouched.

Why isn’t Cally here?

Back in my main room, I pace the floor, my stomach churning with a mix of fear, confusion, and guilt. I remember clearly that the Queen Mother ordered Esmerelda to have Cally released. She has to obey, right?

But then, there was that look in her eye when she passed me on the way out. Did she intend to ignore her superior’s orders just to spite me? Why?

Is it my fault Cally is still suffering in the dungeon?

Finally, I decide to try to find Esmerelda, or someone, anyone who can tell me what’s going on. I rush out the entryway door and push my way past the double doors into the massive hallway, looking in both directions.

There’s no one around.

I try to remember how many turns Lizzy and I made coming back from the Queen Mother’s quarters. Could I find my way back? I don’t want to bother the regent, but maybe Lizzy could help me find someone to release Cally as ordered.

Holding back the burning sense of dread washing over me, I attempt to trace my steps—I think in the right direction—back down the hallway.

I risk a turn I’m not sure about, and then another, and things look familiar for a moment until I make another turn. The hall I’m in now looks the same, but something tells me I haven’t been this way before.

But as soon as I step back into the last hall, I’m confused again. Now, it doesn’t seem quite right. Maybe I came from the other direction.

And now, I don’t know how to get back to my room.

Eventually, I break into a sprint, hurrying down one hallway and another, turning and twisting down corridors that look exactly the same as the last one, never once running into anyone, not a servant, not even Esmerelda.

I’m lost.

I have to stop, struggling to regain my breath as I lean against the wall. I haven’t regained enough strength for this much exercise. The churning in my stomach turns into a famished growl, and I realize I’d only eaten a dainty meal in the presence of the Queen Mother, and that was hours ago now.

Sinking to the floor, I wrap my arms around my knees, the tears forming heavy in my eyes.

Cally isn’t up here, and I don’t know how ill she is from being in that awful, musty dungeon. I can’t get back to my room, and there’s no one to help me.

And not only that, but I can’t explain the strange feeling I had when the Alpha King touched me. Echoes of it still reverberate through me, like an outstretched ribbon reaching across time and space, intertwining with him. Somehow, I even feel like he’s nearby.

But that’s impossible… ridiculous, really. I have no connection to a wolf shifter Alpha I’ve barely met. I’m not powerful like these people here who can turn into wolves at will. I can’t sense anything I can’t see with my own eyes. I can’t read minds.

I’m only human.

Powerful footsteps approach from around the corner, and I rise, hopeful.

Maybe this is someone who can help me.